Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transparent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world. ~ Sara Ban Breathnach

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Week III - Day 4 - The Cup of Mercy - The Evening Review

Thinking of the past several days, I am beginning to appreciate the "emptying" of an evening.  To help...Empty Me - Chris Sligh  God,.empty me of me, so I can be filled with you.

It is the fresh basil that makes this!
It has been such a good day, I decided to splurge and make myself a homemade pizza with fresh mozzarella, ricotta, fresh pesto and basil...and oh, sliced tomatoes.  Ummm, a perfect meal to celebrate a good day.

This was just one kind of nourishment for this day full of blessing.

I am working through a text book on Volunteer Administration.  I am to take an exam in May...and if I do not pass it this May, I can retake the exam in May 2012.  I am doing my best to consider May 2011 as a learning time with the intent to learn and then to pass the exam in May 2012.

I am struggling.  The authors of the book, all college professors from different universities, have written their sections assuming the reader already knows certain concepts, terms.... This reader does not fall within their assumed group. It has been difficult to not become discouraged having to read chapters over and over again hoping for the light bulb to click on.  Today, I was blessed by a good friend working through the first 75 pages with me and helping me translate it into a language which I am familiar, normally "church" language.

One more way I was nourished.  I became more confident that I am not simply stupid...I just need help translating! On a day that I was asked to greet myself mercifully...this was a huge gift! This course is going to be much more difficult than I originally anticipated, yet, today I have a sense of confidence that I can do this.  I am greeting myself mercifully.

Later this afternoon I discovered a long awaited project could not be accomplished as first planned.  Oh, no...the negative talk "almost" began and I managed to stop....Breathing in: Held in your mercy.... Breathing out:....held in your love

I imagined emptying all that negative gunk out of my cup...leaving me an empty space that could be filled by God's mercy... And a new idea, a new plan emerged.  I made a trip to Michael's, found what I needed, and would you believe...I think this new plan will be better than the original!

I am finding the Breathprayers to be amazingly helpful.  I am still not able to "watch" my breathing without hyperventilating, but the breathprayers work for me!  Praise, God!

Does anything need to be emptied out in order for me to be at peace tonight?

I don't think so.  I fully appreciate this thought of Oprah Winfrey's.  I do have a sense of joy and inner peace this evening...and I believe it does flows from being connected to what matters. God surrounded me today with good food, the love and encouragement of good friends, new ideas, and the means to implement them. I thank God for all my good gifts today.
I'm not a word maven, yet Wordles fascinate me. : )

This morning I wrote about forgiveness.  This may come up again, I continue to resist looking ahead.  If it does, I will pull this wordle up again. If it does not, then I have it already included in this journal....possibly I have already pulled it in!

I have long realized I am my own worst enemy.  I do not know anyone who is as critical of I am of myself....and that is not anything to feed, or celebrate.  Who am I...if Jesus can forgive me...who am I to withhold forgiveness?

Yes, through the gift of good friends, food, and new ideas...this has been a good day.

God, I thank you and praise you for all those who have crossed my path today.  I thank you for the gift and nourishment that comes from a variety of sources.  Tonight, I ask for good rest, for myself and for all those who are walking alongside me during this Lenten season. AMEN.

Third Day is one of my favorite groups. I thought of this song while out walking this evening and watching a hawk hunt for his nourishment.  Eagles - Third Day : ) You will have to ignore that whoever put this video together seemingly mistook a seagull for an eagle.

Many Blessings ~ Sandi

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