ONE THOUSAND GIFTS

Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transparent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world. ~ Sara Ban Breathnach

Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts

Friday, December 2, 2011

Reading His Messages

The woods spell out words. I need a lens to read them. Every dark woods has words. And every moment is a message from The Word-God who can't stop writing His heart. ~ Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts


I just happened upon this video today...and was touched.  It spoke to the busyness and the chaos that is so much a part of my world... The "stuff" that is part of my world, yet I often simply "walk through blindly."

A couple of years ago I had cataract surgery on both.  Now, this surgery was SUPPOSED to remove the cataracts AND give me perfect vision, something I had not enjoyed since pre-school days.

It didn't.

The surgeon made mistakes and for months I struggled with poor eyesight until I finally canned the surgeon and returned to my original optometrist.  She immediately diagnosed the problem and put contacts in my eyes.  I can still remember my excitement.  I even called the optometrist's office to exclaim, "I can see the numbers on license plates!!!"

Ann shares a similar story of asking her dad why anyone would bother putting a sign up in their woods if no one could make out the words.

She was taken to see an optometrist. and the next time she went past the woods she saw the words "as clear as a bell and I read them plain:
Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved. (Acts 16:31 KJV)
The woods spell out words. I need a lens to read them.  Every dark woods has words. And every moment is a message from The Word-God who can't stop writing His heart.  But who can read His messages? 

These few sentences caused me to stop and consider.

Just recently I listened to, what I labeled as "horrific" stories, of some individuals and families.

A fourth grader who had heart surgery this week and will need ANOTHER halo screwed into his head in 2012 to correct something about how his head does/does not grow.

A young mother given a few months to live.

A young man facing another surgery to correct injuries from an accident....a surgery that promises to be painful but does not promise to offer relief.

If God is writing His heart in the world, what do these words spell out?

I've been reading the book of Job.  In 33:13-14 one of Job's friends say:

God is far greater than any human.So how dare you haul him into court,
   and then complain that he won't answer your charges?God always answers, one way or another,
   even when people don't recognize his presence. (MSG)
Psalm 19:1-3 reads:

1 The heavens declare the glory of God;
   the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
2 Day after day they pour forth speech;
   night after night they reveal knowledge.
3 They have no speech, they use no words;
   no sound is heard from them. (NIV)
Hebrews 4:12...God's words making a careful incision into a life, blade words that kindly cut the tissue back to where soul and spirit join, tenderly laying bare the intents of the heart:

God's word is alive and working and is sharper than a double-edged sword. It cuts all the way into us, where the soul and the spirit are joined, to the center of our joints and bones. And it judges the thoughts and feelings in our hearts. (NCV)

Yesterday, I was frustrated trying to figure something out.  One of my daughters jokingly said, "Mom, there should be an 'App for that'."

This morning I am wondering, "Is there an App for all the pain I hear and see?"

Considering all the words written in the world, Ann to wondered how to deal with the pain in her own life, in the lives of others.
I hold the medicine bottle, but have I found pills for the pain?
To read His message in moments, I'll need to read His passion on the page; wear the lens of the Word, to read His writing in the world. Only the Word is the answer to rightly reading the world, because TheWord has nail-scarred hands that cup our face close, wipe away the tears running down, has eyes to look deep into our brimming ache, and whisper, 'I know, I know.' The passion on the page is a Person, and the lens I wear of the Word is not abstract idea but the eyes of the God-Man who came and knows the pain. (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 87)
Some heavy thoughts for me to consider and hold this morning.

Good Morning America is on and I can hear about words regarding devastating winds, war, economy.... I wonder, "How does the Word read the world?"


Many Blessings ~ Sandi

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Joy and Pain


"The difference between shallow happiness and a deep sustaining joy is sorrow. Happiness lives where sorrow is not. When sorrow arrives, happiness dies. It can't stand pain. Joy, on the other hand, rises from sorrow and therefore can withstand all grief. Joy, by the grace of God, is the transfiguration of suffering into endurance, and of endurance into character, and of character into hope--and the hope that has become our joy does not (as happiness must for those who depend upon it) disappoint us." Walter Wangrin, Reliving the Passion


After recording 1000 gifts, Ann reflects on the realization that she has a journal full of blessings, but as she has awaken to the joy of God's presence/grace/gifts, she has also awaken to the reality that awakening to joy also awakens her to pain.
"...life is loss...WHAT will I lose? Health? Comfort? Hope? Eventually, I am guaranteed to lose every earthly thing I have ever possessed. WHEN will I lose? Today? In a few weeks? How much time have I got before the next loss? WHO will I lose? And that's a definite: I will lose every single person I have ever loved. Ether abruptly or eventually...Every step I take forward in my life is a loss of something in my life and I live the waiting." (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 84)
Deep thoughts.

Real thoughts.

Thoughts that I often try to avoid.

In a world of certain loss, then the question comes, "What is 'grace'?"

By naming "blessings", "gifts"...."God Winks" I am striving to be more aware of God in my life.  But, notice the words... "blessings" and "gifts"..... If I name these moments as gifts and blessings, what are the moments of pain, of suffering?


Cursedness?

Emptiness?

Forgotten?

Forsaken?
How do you know how to sift through a day, a life, and rightly read the graces, rightly ascertain the curses? (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 85)
Like  me, Ann asks what is good, what counts as grace, what is the heart of God?

When Job lost everything,  he assumed that God had either turned his back on him or was unfairly punishing him.

What is the heart of God?
Do I believe in a God who rouses Himself just now and then to spill a bit of benevolence on hemorrhaging humanity? A God who breaks through teh carapace of this orb only now and then, surprises us with a spared hand, a reprieve from sickness, a good job and a nice house in the burbs - and then finds Himself again too impotent to deal with all I see as suffering and evil A God of sporadic, random, splattering goodness - that now and then splatters across a gratitude journal? (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 85)
Like Job, Ann draws herself up and asks a hard question.

What are all the moments that I don't list as "gifts", as "blessings"?

What of these moments?


 God, it is difficult, this waiting...waiting when I see such darkness within such brightness.  Give me courage during this season of Advent to hold both the joy and the pain that is life and to see You. Through the power of your Spirit, may my happiness be transformed into your Joy. AMEN.


Many Blessings ~ Sandi

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Journaling Through My Latest Book...

"I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands for who you are no matter where I am, every tear I cry, you hold in your hand, You never left my side..."


More on my journaling with Lectio Divina ....