Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transparent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world. ~ Sara Ban Breathnach

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Week II - Day 5 - Trust - The Evening Review

I love the awesomeness of spring skies!
Several things have graced my day and have reminded me that I am in the presence of God, everywhere I go. One, I got out of the house and even though I was a bit weak, I felt good!  Two, the sun was shining and the breeze was warm on my face.  Three, I listened to some of my favorite CDs as I drove. Feeling my spirit begin to lift, I realized it had been nearly a week since I have listened to any music...and music is something that I don't just "enjoy", music feeds my soul.  I had not realized how hungry I was until I heard words and chords of my eclectic collection of music fill the inside of my car.

Added to this, I spent a couple of hours with a wonderful group of women who are walking alongside me during this Lenten study and then another hour with a young mother from the church who offered to teach me how to use a Mac computer. Jill is a wonderful hostess and I enjoyed seeing her flare for decorating and all the projects her husband and dad had done to update an old farmhouse.

Driving home I learned that my granddaughter had seen Jesus praying in one of the cloud formations. I saw the picture of the cloud, and while that might not have been my first thought, I could see what she had seen.

This evening, my youngest grandson clearly called me "Giz" and then began pointing to a picture of my dad, saying "Pa-pa!"

God in creation.
Be still my heart!

Lastly, the spring skies this afternoon have been in full drama.  I never tire of the changing of the light, the clouds, and all the shades that are part of a spring country sky.

I was blessed, and I was aware of my blessings in the moment, rather than in hindsight.

Joyce used a prayer by St. Teresa of Avila in her Day 5 writing.
"Let nothing disturb me, nothing frighten me. Let nothing take away my peace. May I wait with trust, with patience, knowing you will provide for me...You are enough for me."

For the most part, this has been a healing day, a day of inner peace and ... trust! I realized that sitting with the group of women today, I trusted them enough to be vulnerable, to share some of my own questions.  I was not afraid to be completely clueless with Jill. Now...I am still on this journey, because there were a couple of times my heart has jerked and I felt myself beginning to withdraw into a safe shell. But...then I remembered...

This morning I said I was going to put the breathprayer on a card and take it with me.  I actually followed through and noticed the card propped up in the ashtray of my car. That was a God Gift...

It was a God Gift because I was able to let go of the hurt that had caused me to jerk, by breathing in I trust you... and then breathing out ...with my life.

There is no person on this earth I need to impress.  My self worth comes from God within me...and I am willing to bet he wants me to be in the moment and to take in his presence that is around and within.rather than reacting in fear and hurt, and missing the grace that is around me.

Does anything need to be emptied out in order for me to be at peace tonight?

This evening a few things from church have crept up and a friend sent me an email to tell me that a woman I had been with a couple of days ago was downsized today.  I had another call to share news of a less than favorable lab report from this afternoon. Still...I am feeling centered and peaceful as this day draws to a close. The joys, the awes, the react-ions, the bad news... have been emptied, leaving me with a cup that is ready to rest and to be filled with a new day.

For what do I thank God as I prepare to enter into sleep?

I thank God for the gift of ALL the people who come and go within my life.  Today, especially for the women who gather together on Wednesday for lunch and conversation.  I thank God for this goofy little dog who thinks she wants to go out in a storm. I thank God for music.  I thank God that I was open and aware of all the blessings of this day. AMEN.

On this stormy night...on this Week II/Day 5 of this journey...I thought this a great song! Left click...Light Up the Sky

Many Blessings ~ Sandi

1 comment:

  1. Thank you again for continuing to share with those who cannot meet in person. At the moment, this study and the PIG study are both centered around letting go and trusting God with all of my life and letting Him be enough. I liked Joyce's thoughts on when something or someone challenges my inner peace that I am to turn to God, TRUSTING that I will be given strength and guidance - (She did not mention "hoping" that this will happen. I believe there is a difference.)