Does it count if I am gasping for breath after a long walk and I am criticizing myself for not only slacking the last couple of months in terms of exercise, but also once again getting into the bad habit of mindless snacking?
Besides that...it is cold outside!
~ ~ Grumbling ~ ~
I may be out of shape, yet God still calls me toward wholeness. To help me center my thoughts..Psalm 139
I have thought today about my unrealistic list of self expectations. I am much more gracious to others than I am to myself, yet I do hold high expectations. And you know what else...I often expect other people to read my mind! I do not want to ask for something, yet I have at times felt frustrated when someone failed to do something I had "thought" about, but not shared.
It was very early on in this journey that I admitted the world is much better with God running the show than if I were in charge.
I absolutely love the images and the phrases of Psalm 139...who would not feel loved and protected...cherished by these words? The Psalmist captured so many thoughts I might carry:
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
As I trotted behind Sophie this evening, gasping the cold air into my lungs, I thought again of God holding me, much like I held my cup this morning. Once Sophie stopped to check some burned corn stalks and I looked up to the heavens and exclaimed, "You do know this is not a time to be smiling don't you?"
And then I found myself laughing...at myself and in that moment, I know God did smile.
God, teach me to let go of my adult list of "what should be" and to simply love and enjoy you...and myself as a child. Hillsong Kids - Jesus Loves Me AMEN.
Jesus does love me...and you. A little three year old girl reminded me of that this past Sunday as she "taught" me the actions to a song from the back pew. An entire sanctuary separated us, yet there was just the two of us. What a special gift and blessing.
I pray that you and I are both blessed with restful sleep. May we rest in the knowledge that we are loved. AMEN.
Many Blessings ~ Sandi
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