The other side of prayer...

I pray that you [Sandi] will know that the blessings God has promised his holy people are rich and glorious. And you will know that God's power is very great for us who believe.  ~ Ephesians 1:18-19

Rich Mullins was just the most amazing man used by God....

"Sometimes you try to impress God with all the right words...."

Prayer....

I give thanks for the seemingly microscopic, I make a place for God to grow within me. This, this, makes me full...What will a life magnify? The world's stress cracks, the grubbiness of a day, all that is wholly wrong, and terrible busted? Or God? Never is God's power or knowing small.  God is not in need of magnifying by us, who are so small, but the reverse. It's our lives that are little and we have falsely inflated self, and in thanks we decrease and the world returns right. I say thanks and I swell with Him, and I swell the world, and He stirs me, joy all afoot. 

This, I think is the other side of prayer. (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 59)

"The other side of prayer."

What a provocative thought.....

In the Job study we have talked about the throne room of heaven, not something I have ever thought a lot about...but, would the "other side of prayer" be my moving more into God's presence?  Would it be the "throne room"?

The list is God's list,the pulse of His love - the love that thrums on the other side of our prayers. And I see it now for what this really is, this dare to write down one thousand things I love.  It is really is a dare to name all the ways God loves me. The true Love Dare. To move into His presence and listen to His unending and know the grace uncontainable. This is the vault of the miracles. The only thing that change us, the world, is this - all His love. (Ann Voskamp, p 60)

I think of Gandhi's challenge to me, "Be the change you wish to see..."

When I give thanks for the "microscopic things" like sunshine filtering through my kitchen window, the taste of warm cider from a pretty cup, the fingerprints of my Grands on my stainless steel refrigerator, being able to dial the phone and hear my mom or dad say, "hello...".... you know those ordinary/everyday things of life...

When I pause and offer gratitude for these everyday things...I stand on the other side of prayer...I stand in His presence....I stand on holy ground....

I feel so ...

small....

I feel amazed...

Ann writes:

I am bell and He is sure wind, and He moves and I am rung and I know it for what it is: this is the other side of where Daniel, man of prayer, lived. Change agent, mover and shaker Daniel, second-to-the-king Daniel...Rather, his prayers moved kings and lion jaws because Daniel "prayed three times a day, just as he had always done, giving thanks to his God." (Daniel 6:10) (Ann Voskamp, p 60)

Wow...I've really got a lot to hold and reflect upon this evening.

Prayer. Holy Ground. Change agent. Daniel.... Something I take for granted....Something I all to often treat very casually.

I want to keep reading, to keep journalling these thoughts and images, yet I feel nudged to sit still with all that is rushing through my heart.

The other side of prayer....

Many Blessings ~ Sandi

Into the Eye of God - I

I saw Pearl in Hello Dolly
on Broadway in 1969.  What
a treat for a young girl!

People see God every day, they just don't recognize him.  ~Pearl Bailey

Even when I can't see or sense God's presence, I know he is here.  I may need to search my own heart to make sure it isn't me who has moved.  Other times, I need to sit still and just "know" without seeing that I am not alone.  And then, in the quiet I do see God.  Pearl was right, he doesn't always appear in my life like I would expect. Sometimes he is in the "thunder", but just as often he is in the "whisper".

God is....


Michael W. Smith reminds me just how close God is...This is the Air I Breathe

Macrina moves me this morning, right into the center of the storm...Into the Eye of God with a poem. A poem that once again opens and challenges my heart to think broader...bigger about my journey toward God.  She offers me a prayer that I be given a "small storm"!

Sadly, it often takes a small storm to get my attention, so she's right on...again.
Into the Eye of God
For your prayer
your journey into God,
may you be given a small storm
a little hurricane 
named after you,
persistent enough
to get your attention
violent enough
to awaken you to new depths
strong enough
to shake you to the roots
majestic enough
to remind you of your origin:
made of the earth
yet steeped in eternity
frail human dust
yet soaked with infinity.
You begin your storm
under the Eye of God.
A watchful, caring eye
gazes in your direction
as you wrestle
with the life force within.
.
In the midst of these holy winds
In the midst of this divine wrestling
your storm journey
like all hurricanes
leads you into the eye,
Into the Eye of God
where all is calm and quiet.


A stillness beyond imagining!
Into the Eye of God
after the storm
Into the silent, beautiful darkness
Into the Eye of God.


Wow...my first thought is that I don't like this prayer of being sent a storm.  My second, as I look at the quote by Jonathan Lockwood Huie is that I'm not sure I agree, but this guy is supposed to be a motivational speaker on happiness and joy!

Life is a series of "storms" and I admit that when I am feeling vulnerable, I do finally end up on my knees.  During my journaling on The Cup of Life I wondered if old age was a gift from God so that we had an opportunity to once again become humble and vulnerable...

Yet, my hope and my prayer is that as I continue to journey toward God, I live not only in the eye of the storm, but also through the storm itself.

This enough for me to hold for this morning, but I do want to mention that with this chapter, Macrina tells me that she has come to the "heart of this book [A Tree Full of Angels] and that from this point on she is going to offer me a way of gathering up the crumbs, a way of prayer that for her is pure gold...a way to harvest the Word of God.

This way of prayer is not entirely foreign to me.  It is called Lectio Divina or Divine Reading. As I have become more intentional about my faith journey, this form of prayer has crossed my path many times and each time I have paused and moved on.  I notice I have three books on my desk today that all focus on Lectio Divina and with each book, I did not know this was the case when I made the purchase.

Hummm.... I wonder if God is suggesting I do more than simply pause?

Most Amazing God, I believe you do guide my hand at times when I am totally unaware of your doing so.  God, I ask for your Spirit of wisdom, patience, and understanding as I strive to do more than pause with this spiritual discipline. Help me to be open to seeing and hearing what it is that will help me to know you, which will only help me to know myself.  I ask your blessing on my efforts and I pray they will be pleasing to you.  AMEN.


Thinking about storms and the eye of storms, I've thought of the David Crowder Band's song, You Make Everything Glorious .... and all God's people say, "AMEN"!

Many Blessings ~ Sandi

Gather Up the Crumbs - XI - Winding up Macrina's crumbs with prayer.

My Internet has been down, if it isn't one thing...its another! : )  But, I tell you what, I'm not giving up.  However, I'm leaving here very early in the morning to pick up my mom and go to the hospital.  My dad is having a surgical procedure on his heart tomorrow.  I will continue writing about Macrina's crumb of prayer as I sit and wait.  I also hope to have the opportunity to write some of my own crumbs.

But, until then...I do believe in the power of prayer and I would so appreciate prayers for my Dad and my Mom.

Thanks!

Many Blessings ~ Sandi

Week V - Day 2 - Offering the Cup

To begin this new Monday morning a wonderful rendition of a familiar song and amazing photos...

Etty Hillisum wrote: "...there now flows a constant stream of tenderness, a stream in which all petty desires seem to have been extinguished. All that matters now is to be kind to each other with all the goodness that is in us.

Etty Hillisum 1914-1943

Last evening, I watched The Fall of The Third Reich on the History Channel.  I watched footage shot by and heard letters written by German soldiers to their wives and families. It did not change the horror of what happen, but it did put other faces into a time of history I had not known before.  Etty Hillisum was a Jew living in the Netherlands during Hitler's reign of power. Knowing this about Etty as I again read this quote offers another layer of appreciation of the power of her insight.

Joyce uses Etty's quote to consider the image of the Body of Christ and her belief that even though she does not hear a lot about The Body, it is still vital and helpful when it comes to living compassionately.

The Body of Christ Cross

"This Christian spirituality envisions each of us as a part of the whole, with the Spirit of Jesus uniting us...'If one member suffers, all suffer together with it; if one member is honored, all rejoiced together with it' (1 Cor 12:26)...Each and every part of the whole has significance and worth." (Joyce Rupp, The Cup of Life, p 115)

Joyce shares that she finds great strength in knowing that she is connected to everyone and everything in her world because of the vibrancy of the Divine Presence dwelling in each of us and because of the atoms that twirl and whirl in every piece of creation.

"All of life is a part of me and I am a part of all of life. All people are my sisters and brothers. In each one I recognize the face of the Divine Presence looking back at me. The God of Compassion has shown me a loving face; now I am to be that reflection in return. I am to be the presence of God to another. When I offer the cup of compassion to someone, it is God in me reaching to God in the other. There is a oneness of Love bonding us to all of life." (Rupp, p 116)

Joyce continues writing, reminding the reader that it is not only Christians who are encouraged to be a light for others and a source of love.  Compassion is a core element of other religious traditions as well.

Make yourselves a light. ~ Buddha

"In his last words to his disciples, the Buddha said: 'Make of yourselves a light.' How similar are the words of Jesus when he asked his followers to not hide their light under a basket but to place it where all could see. Like Jesus, the Buddha also encouraged his followers to be persons of great love." (Ibid) 

John Cardinal Newman 1901-1990

As she nears her time of meditation, Joyce writes that praying for and with others is one way of being a light or a sign of God's great compassion.  Joyce also names the groups that she will be meeting with in the days or weeks to come.  She then prays the adapted prayer of John Cardinal Newman that she has included within today's devotion.

I see that word "adapted" and I immediately want to know how the entire prayer reads. While looking, I learned this prayer was recited daily by Mother Teresa and her Sisters of Charity in Calcutta, India.

Dear Jesus,
help me to spread your fragrance wherever I go.
Flood my soul with your spirit and life.
Penetrate and possess my whole being so utterly
that my life may only be a radiance of yours.
Shine through me and be so in me that every soul I come in contact with
may feel your presence in my soul.
Let them look up and see no longer me, but only Jesus!
Stay with me and then I will begin to shine as you shine,
so to shine as to be a light to others.
The light, O Jesus, will be all from you; none of it will be mine.
It will be you, shining on others through me.
Let me thus praise you in the way which you love best,
by shining on those around me.
Let me preach you without preaching, not by words but by example,
by the catching force, the sympathetic influence of what I do,
the evident fullness of the love my heart bears for you.  Amen. 


Breathprayer:
Breathing in: We are many...
Breathing out: ...we are one

In Christ There is No East or West

Reflection:
Hold your cup out in front of you.
Stand and face the East.
Unite with all beings of the East.
Let your heart extend compassion to them.
Turn and face the South.
Hold your cup out to all who dwell in the South.
Unite with these beings.
Let your heart extend compassion to them.
(Continue in the like manner with the West and the North)


Scripture: 1 Corinthians 12:12-31
 ²⁷ Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.


Journaling:
I am a fountain of God's love when...
I hesitate, or refuse, to offer the cup of compassion to... because...
Dialogue with an individual or a group toward whom you feel biased or prejudiced.


I have been using Adam Hamilton's book "24 Hours That Changed the World" during Parlor Conversations on Sunday mornings during Lent.  We have talked several times about "crowd" mentality and how "good" people end up doing something they would have never thought capable. I watched this played out again in the documentary on the Third Reich last evening.  Good people...hesitating or refusing to offer the cup of compassion because...

As I sit with these images, "peace" keeps coming to mind.  If all Christians, Buddhist, Muslims, Jews.... if all religions offered the Cup of Compassion...if they would be a Light...then the world would know peace.  But...we don't and the world does not know peace.

As we peel away layers there are tears...
tears of laughter, tears of pain, tears of joy, tears of release...

At first I thought this Cup was misplaced in Joyce's book.  It seems far easier to work through than previous weeks, yet this morning I am thinking back to those previous weeks....The Cup of Life, The Open Cup, The Chipped Cup, The Broken Cup and with each week....I had to peel away another layer of "protection" in order to get to my true self.  I have often said that life is a lot like an onion, and our true self, our core, may only be revealed after all of the outer layers have been peeled away. 

When I peel away the layers of my conditioned beliefs, of my ideas and influences, and all the protective coverings that I imagine make me feel safe, I get to the heart of my "issues" and discover my own personal truths, my own deep knowing...  and awakening to the nature of reality.  And, once I get past all those layers, I find that within my center I am perfect...a beloved Child of God, just as I am.  This is what I and others have been doing as we have read through the exercises and stories for the past four weeks! Each lesson has been a peeling away...


...so that now, I can read what would initially seems so "easy" with new eyes and a new appreciation of what lies in my deepest heart.


God, I am a fountain of your love when I forget myself and see only the other person or situation.  I've actually have done this!  I don't try to get complicated or second guess myself...I'm simply present with the need.


Yet, I hesitate, or refuse, to offer the cup of compassion to ... when I stick a label/judgement on the person or the situation.  "She's never going to change." or "We have offered help before..." or "I heard she really bad mouthed the congregation, why would I want to reach out..." and "They have more technology in that trailer than I have at home! Why don't they use some of that money to pay their heating bill!" lastly "They are Muslim! I don't understand their religion and 'they' blew us up!"


Unconsciously and very easily....I create a Me/Them mentality rather than seeing everyone as a brother/sister...just doing their best to live within this life.  A wonderful lesson for me to hold comes from the book Gifts From A Course in Miracles.  It is entitled, Recognizing Your Brother.  Excerpts from this lesson...


When you meet anyone,
remember it is a holy encounter.
As you see him you will see yourself.
As you treat him you will treat yourself.
As you think of him you will think of yourself.
Never forget this,
for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself.


Everyone lives in you,
as you live in everyone...

For God so loved the WORLD...
not just Christians, not just Jews,
not just white, or black,
not just protestants, not just straight...
God so loved the WORLD...
what does that mean for me?

...Recognize all whom you see as brothers,
because only equals are at peace....


...When you have seen your brothers as yourself
you will be released...


...In truth you and your brother stand together,
with nothing in between.


Christ stand before you both,
each time you look upon your brother.


Dream of your brother's kindnesses
instead of dwelling in your dreams on his mistakes.
Select his thoughtfulness to dream about
instead of counting up the hurts he gave.
Forgive him his illusions, and give thanks to him
for all the helpfulness he gave.
And do not brush aside his many gifts
because he is not perfect in your dreams...


...It is not up to you to change your brother,
but merely to accept him as he is.


You will never know that you are co-creator with God
until you learn that your brother
is co-creator with you.


Peace to my brother, who is one with me.
Let all the world be blessed with peace through us.

God, I need your help to uncover, to open my prejudices that I hold deep in my heart...and then I need your help to let go. I don't think of myself as a prejudiced person! In fact...I am prejudiced against prejudiced people!!!  Oh my God...I have so much yet to unlearn, yet, I know you will be faithful...and forever patient. AMEN.


Prayer: (adapted from the prayer of John Cardinal Newman)
Dear God, help me to spread your love everywhere I go. Penetrate and possess my whole begin so fully that all my life will reflect your compassion. Shine through me and be so in me that every person I meet will feel your presence in my spirit. AMEN.

“I want you woven into a tapestry of love, in touch
with everything there is to know of God.
Then you will have minds confident and at rest,
focused on Christ, God’s great mystery. All the richest
treasures of wisdom and knowledge are embedded
in that mystery and nowhere else.
And we’ve been shown the mystery!” (Col 2:2-3 MSG)

Today: I will intentionally offer compassion to someone I know who is in need of my understanding, kindness, and care.


I think I will tweak Joyce's "Today" by saying, "Today, I will offer compassion to someone I have judged as not needing my understanding, kindness, and care.  I even have someone in mind!

Many Blessings ~ Sandi


P.S. I am still doing The Evening Review, but I will most likely not be including it within this online journal.

Week III - Day 6 - The Cup of Wisdom

Michael Card

I have many favorite artists, often the one I am listening to at the moment is my favorite.  Still, high on my favorites list is Michael Card. I do not think the man has released anything that has not touched my heart and stretched my thinking.  Beginning to read Joyce's thoughts for Day 6, it is storming outside, my youngest is beginning a new job today thus my little ones are being shuffled around very early, I have yet another full day...my heart is cluttered. Michael has one of the clearest and sometimes soothing voices. (Soothing when he isn't stretching my thinking!) Michael's song, Joy in the Journey, came to mind.  Joy in the Journey

My spiritual path sometimes seems dark.
I want to focus on the Light.

I continue to be amazed how Joyce's readings seem to hit me right where I am at this moment.

"I have often mentioned the need for guidance as we look at our less-than-perfect lives. It is easy to deceive ourselves as we walk on our spirtual path. Because we are flawed human creaures, we can get side-tracked. We can lose our focus...We can become absorbed in trying to be someone other than our true selves." (Joyce Rupp, The Cup of Life, p 82)

Joyce may have realized her reader could begin to feel slightly troubled at this point in the journey. I appreciated her gentle reminder ...

Calvin is ready to help!

"We need wisdom so that we will know when to embrace our imperfect selves with compassion and when to give our imperfect selves a swift kick in the right direction...when to embrace ourselves...when not to give in to ourselves." (Ibid) 

 More than once someone from the Wednesday Lunch Bunch has asked, "How do I know what God wants me to do?"  I have asked that myself. Joyce talks about Guidance being my inner voice, that when I listen, keeps me connected to God.

"It's not that our lives are all mapped out for us by God. The path is rarely a clear, visible, neatly defined one. No, rather Divine Wisdom helps us to discover, each step of the way, how we are to be a loving person in our world with our chipped, flawed condition." (Ibid)

Wisdom cannot get in when I am full.

I have heard that inner voice of mine speaking to me many times...and many times I have chosen to ignore it.  "I" had a plan, and "I" did not want to second guess myself, so "I" charged ahead.  But then, feeling frazzled and overwhelmed, I ask, "How am I to know what God wants me to do?"  

He has tried to tell me...and I did not listen!  He has sent Wisdom to me in the form of another's voice, something on the radio, a song, a poem....but if my cup is filled with my own agenda, I can not "hear" with my heart..

Sound familiar?

Honestly? I know this stuff! Much of what Joyce has written...I know, yet I do not live it well. Wisdom and Guidance have richly blessed me, and I have buried them beneath the clutter of my life. If misery loves company, then I am in good company. Think about the stories in scripture. Think of the psalms. Joyce says that direction for one's spiritual path has always been a need of people who are intent on following God's ways. Once again, I am so thankful that our God is a God of Second Chances.

"Let us trust in this wonderful guide who has been given to us. Let us turn often to ask for guidance and direction for our spiritual path for we, too, need this Wise One to teach us how to be and where to go." (Rupp, p 83)

Breathprayer:
   Breathing in: Send your light...
   Breathing out:...send your truth

turning my cup to each direction...

Reflection:
Hold your cup in your hands.


Recall that you are held in the Wise Hands of God.


As a sign of the all-encompassing guidance and wisdom of God in your life, very slowly and reflectively turn your cup to each of the four directions of the room.


After each turn of the cup, pray Ps 43:3: "O send out your light and your truth, let them lead me."


Journaling:
The area in which I most sense that I need God's guidance is...


I have known the presence of Holy Wisdom when...


Dear Wise One...


I am at a loss.  There are so many areas I need God's guidance.  I have written I am juggling to many commitments and I do not know what to do....other than to try and get through them.  A friend has suggested I seek the advice of a pastor counseling service.  It sounds good, but I don't know where I would plug in one more meeting...that would include me driving two more hours in my week! I am tired and my heart is heavy. A beautiful prayer by Thomas Merton speaks to my current dilemma. A prayer for guidance


.Dear Wise One, I sense that I most need your guidance and your wisdom as I contemplate where and what I am to do.  I feel pulled in two different directions.  I consider my age.  I consider distance. I consider my effectiveness or lack of. I make plans, yet, when I am tired and feeling overwhelmed, how well can I discern your wisdom and guidance as I make those plans?

I can't.

Trust in the Lord...lean not on
your own understanding.

I am like an overfull cup.  My heart tells me you are offering me wisdom and guidance regarding next steps, through my inner voice and through the voice of others.  But that wisdom and guidance are simply spilling out because there is no space in my cup. Thankfully,  I am not so over the top that I cannot sit quietly and recognize this reality. Sitting here with these thoughts, Trust once again nudges my heart. Recognizing how tactile I am, perhaps writing "trust" on a smooth stone to carry in my pocket would be a helpful reminder in the days to come.

I was a bit skeptical about turning my cup to the four corners of my room and praying, "Send out your light and your truth, let them lead me." It seemed a bit much, even for me.  However, it was a similar experience as the Breathprayers.  By the time I reached the last corner, my skepticism had melted away and I was feeling present with Divine Wisdom. I felt a sense of peace. This was a reminder for me to at least honestly try something before judging against.

Prayer:

Holy Wisdom....

Holy Wisdom, as I walk the spiritual path, with my chipped and flawed condition, teach me to be open to your guidance and direction for my life. I believe you want to use me in ways that furthers your kingdom here on earth.  By being still, and being more intentional about offering up prayer...may I make good choices that are reflective of the loving goodness of you. AMEN.


Today:
Joyce asks that I call on Holy Wisdom at least twice during my day and to ask for guidance.  I have a basket of polished stones and a collection of markers...I am going to write "Trust" on a stone as a reminder to ask... This is a habit I want to learn...

Many Blessings ~ Sandi