Week III - Day 1 - The Perfect Cup

Joyce's poem on page 68...that page alone could have been my lesson for this day.  Phrases that stood out for me:

"I will love you, for you, not for what you have done
or what you'll become."

"it is time for me to see the flaws of myself and stop being alarmed.""it is time for me to receive slowly evolving growth the kind that comes in God's own good time and pays no heed to my panicky pushing.""it is time for me to embrace my humanness to love my incompleteness""if I wait to be perfect before I love myself, I will always be unsatisfied and ungrateful" (Joyce Rupp, The Cup of Life, p 68)

JJ Heller has a wonderful song that I suspect will also become an important part of this week's refection.  I hope you enjoy.What Love Really Means

For so long, I worked hard (and sometimes still fall into the trap) to be the perfect wife, mom, and Giz. To be the perfect Scout Leader, Room Mother, Elder, Post Prom Chair... To be the perfect...

 "it is time for me to embrace my humanness to love my incompleteness"

God, teach me love myself in my
humanness and in my incompleteness.

No matter how hard I try, I always come up short.  Sometimes in my own eyes and sometimes in the eyes of those I love or am striving to please.  I cannot be perfect.  I cannot remember everything.  I make mistakes.  God made me only human...and he loves me in my humanness and in my incompleteness.

Incompleteness is all around me.  I walked around my flower beds yesterday afternoon and was noticing that some areas did not fare well through this past winter.  This morning, however, I realize I was looking for perfection, or some notion in my head of what the flower beds "should" look like. I had made a mental note that if possible, I wanted to spend time today getting rid of some of the moss that has arrived this spring...uninvited... But this morning I am wondering if I might give myself permission to discover beauty within those same areas of my flower beds that caused a sense of restlessness and dissatisfaction yesterday.


"'Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect,' has been translated inaccurately. The actual text reads, 'Be whole as God is whole.' Wholeness implies a process, a gradual coming together into a oneness in which all the parts are integrated, but not necessarily perfect." (Rupp, p 69)




Breathprayer:
          Breathing in: Loved, loved...
          Breathing out: ....loved as I am

I watched a new Grandpa studying the
hands of his new little girl yesterday.  How
much more so God would lovingly study me.

Reflection:
        Holding my cup in my hands...
        Study the cup...
        Notice if there are any flaws or imperfections...
        Enjoy the cup...its color, shape, size...
        Imagine myself in God's hands...
        Imagine God observing me, studying me....
        Imagine God smiling and enjoying who I am....

Scripture: Psalm 139:13-14
For it was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you for I am...wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works.


Journaling:
Make a list of your expectations of a) yourself, b) others.
Write a dialogue between God and the part of yourself that you especially struggle with accepting.
Dear God, when I picture you smiling and enjoying who I am, I...

As loving as my dad is...
God's love is greater still.

I am blessed to be the much loved daughter of the most wonderful dad.  I cannot imagine a daddy being any more loving, more protective, more generous...than my Dad.  God, when I picture you smiling and enjoying me...I picture my dad.... My dad, whose eyes always seem to light up a bit whenever I walk into his range of vision. My dad, whose eyes were distressed and grieved when he leaned over my hospital bed following a horrific car accident. My dad, who has held me and hugged me.  My dad, who has been the world to me...it is so hard to comprehend that your eyes, your touch, your hugs....would be all that plus so much more.  My dad loves me unconditionally...and I know that in every fiber of my being. Yet, you love me even more...

Striving for Perfection = Headaches

God, I get so frustrated when I screw up!  You have given me great gifts, yet I do not always use them wisely...and I know better!  I talk when I should listen.  I push when I should be still. I demand when I should be gracious. I react when I should pause...  Those are the things that make me crazy!  I say I want to please you, and then sometimes I forget you are here.

I expect myself to always be kind and gracious.  I expect myself to not judge...especially people, but situations and circumstances as well.  I expect myself to always get things done in a timely manner.  I expect my home to be neat and attractive.  I expect....  Geeze...I expect perfection!  No wonder my head hurts....all to often!

Prayer:  (Joyce's prayer is so perfect...)
Dear God, a long time ago I learned that you never make junk. You created me as a human person whose journey of life is the path to wholeness. This journey needs room for growth and space for evolving discovery. Each day is another opportunity to receive your help and your love as I become the person I am meant to be. Help me to love myself well and to entrust my growth to your guidance. Remind me often that I am "wonderfully made" (Ps 139:14)


Today:
I will not criticize or find fault with myself or others.


Ummmm Sounds as though I could use a dose of humbleness for this day.  "God dwells within me as me." Casting Crowns offers me a song to get my world tilted a bit more toward "wholeness" this morning.  It isn't about me...it is about Him. Who Am I - Casting Crowns


Many Blessings ~ Sandi