Groaning into a new day...

...The more hassled you feel, the more you need this sacred space of communion with Me. Breathe slowly and deeply. Relax in My holy Presence while My Face shines upon you. This is how you receive My Peace, which I always offer you... Sarah Young, Jesus Calling

Be Still My Soul... by Selah.  All I can add is to whisper a grateful, "Amen."

This morning, for whatever reason, the body, the mind, the spirit...just could hardly move....just could hardly believe I had to begin a new day.  A day I already knew to be full with an Update, a Sermon, a Bulletin....those words that appear on a page....I just have not found a way to shut my eyes and then discover the page full....of just the right words.

This morning, sitting down with my devotion I prayed, "Lord, you know what is on my plate for this day and you know how tired and spent I feel...and the day has not yet begun! Lord, I feel overwhelmed by all I need to accomplish.  Lord, I feel sad by the things I really want to accomplish, yet I know those things don't pay the bills. Lord, grant that I discover what I need within these moments with you. Amen."


Yesterday, during the Wednesday Lunch Bunch conversation we talked about miracles.  Biblical miracles and miracles that occur in our everyday/ordinary life.  Sarah's devotion for today...I would almost count as a miracle. Continuing from above...

...Imagine the pain I feel when My children tie themselves up in anxious knots, ignoring My gift of Peace. I died a criminal's death to secure this blessing for you. Receive it gratefully; hide it in your heart. My Peace is an inner treasure, growing within you as you trust in Me. Therefore, circumstances cannot touch it.Be still, enjoying Peace in My Presence.

"Receive it gratefully..."

Those words are taking on a new significance for me as I strive to live life through an attitude of gratitude in all things.  This morning, because I know I am struggling with focus, instead of journaling on One Thousand Gifts, I am going to Psalm 46, as transposed by Eugene Peterson in The Message Bible:

1-3 God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him.We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom,courageous in seastorm and earthquake,Before the rush and roar of oceans,the tremors that shift mountains. 

This morning, sitting with these words, I realized that in many ways....I wanted to hide!  I wanted to hide from anyone and anything that could want something from me....I realized I do feel as though I am standing [and have been standing for a long while] in the midst of a storm.  A storm of constant demands on my physical, emotional, and mental self.

Ummm.  Sound like a familiar Bible story?

8-10 Attention, all! See the marvels of God!He plants flowers and treess all over the earth,Bans war from pole to pole,breaks all the weapons across his knee."Step out of the traffic! Take a long,loving look at me, your High God,above politics, above everything. 

11 Jacob-wrestling God fights for us,God-of-Angel-Armies protects us..

As powerful as the imagery in this Psalm, it was Eugene Peterson's reflection that really helped me to pause this morning.

...The city of God is safe, not because it's a sphere of innocence, protected by unscalable walls and sophisticated security systems. It's safe because it's the sphere where God's help is available....The verb 'help' is used in verse 5, where I translate it, 'God at your service.' He knows the kind of world we live in, and he knows how vulnerable we are in that world. He anticipates our needs and plans ahead. He's there right on time to help, there at the crack of dawn."


In verse 8, the psalmist says, 'Attention, all! See the marvels of God!' In other words, 'Quit rushing through the streets long enough to become aware that there is more to life than your little self-help enterprises.'


In a world that is falling apart around us, it's easy to become frantic and lose touch with God. But if God is the living center of redemption, it's essential that we be in touch with him and responsive to him. If God has a will for this world and we want to be in on it, we must be still long enough to find out what it is.


It is then, and 'only' then, that we'll be able to see the marvels of God that are going on around us and inside us.


In order to write words that others might find meaningful within an Update or a Sermon, in order to consider Gratitude...to journal about Gratitude... In order to live fully I must be still long enough to discover God working around me and within me.

It is with a sense of gratitude that I receive the words of Sarah Young and Eugene Peterson as they used the imagery of Psalm 46 in their own writing.

Instead of sitting with Ann's book, these were the words I needed this morning to calm my anxiety, my overwhelm, and my fatigue at the beginning of a new day....a day that is truly a gift from God!

God, I am grateful for the Psalmist, and I am grateful for those who take the words of these ancient writings and weave them into paragraphs of words that heal my soul on mornings such as this. Help me to take the peace of these moments into my day.  Help me to pause as demands seem to heavy...seem to come to fast...and simply rest in your presence. Amen!


This video....I struggle with the images of the crucifixion story as depicted in The Passion of The Christ.  ....truth be told, I normally avoid them.  But this morning, the images within this video spoke to my heart, as violent as they are...  Through It All....  If Christ had not suffered...how would I know he truly understands my tired and weary heart? How else could I trust?

Many Blessings ~ Sandi

Waiting...

Patience with others . is Love, Patience with self is Hope, Patience with God is Faith. ~Adel Bestavros


I just needed a good praise song this morning...


Here We Are  by Don Moen


You are here...dwelling within my praise... your love that makes me strong .... through it all I will sing this song....


Whenever I can focus I'm going to blog on patience and waiting, using Sarah as my example of doing what is very human.... but at the moment I'm not waiting well.  

Daughter #3 has been at the hospital for 24+ hours trying to bring her first child into this world.


Greatly Loved Brother is still waiting for more tests results regarding the "thing" that is in his brain.


I can't tell you how much coffee I've had over the past 36 hours...and I feel about the way this little guy looks!!!


I keep repeating this praise song by Don Moen and I do know Jesus is here...but my brain is fatigued and fragmented as I have sat waiting for texts from these two people I love so much!


I'm headed to the church this morning.  I've a Bible Study I'm leading this evening! Prayers for focus would be greatly appreciated! : )


Many Blessings ~ Sandi

As You Give the Grace, I Will Sing....

 Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
      to be out of your sight?
   If I climb to the sky, you're there!
      If I go underground, you're there!
   If I flew on morning's wings
      to the far western horizon,
   You'd find me in a minute—
      you're already there waiting!
   Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
      At night I'm immersed in the light!"
   It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you;
      night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you.  ~ Psalm 139:7-10 (MSG)


You Are My Hiding Place - Selah


Is there anyplace I can avoid God's Spirit?

Sometimes, it feels as though I am alone, and even though I know in my head that God is present, sometimes it is just really hard to sense his Presence.


Psalm 139 speaks of being afraid, I'm not afraid, just exhaustingly tired. I'm beginning to suspect some of my medication either doesn't like other medication or it doesn't like me.  Either way, there seems to be a battle going on in my body that is creating cramps that are preventing sleep. 


I feel like the person in this picture.  Not only do I feel a bit alone, but in my fatigue the world seems blurry, out of focus.

This morning I sat down to journal. I felt I needed to write something since I have been silent since the weekend, but I didn't know what I would write.  I don't exactly feel joyful. At the moment, a gratitude might be difficult.

Then Sarah Young reaches out to me from her devotion Jesus Calling.

Does it ever cause you to pause and step back when you have been thinking about something and then you open a book, receive a note or an email... and it is like a response to the thoughts you have been carrying!

Ummmm... Sort of like a burning bush or a talking donkey! : )

"There is no place so desolate that you cannot find Me there. When Hagar fled from her mistress, Sarah, into the wilderness, she thought she was utterly alone and forsaken. But Hagar encountered Me in that desolate place. There she addressed Me as the Living One who sees me. Through that encounter with My Presence, she gained courage to return to her mistress." (Sarah Young, Jesus Calling)

This story comes from Genesis 16:7-14. Honestly, I had forgotten Hagar fled Sarah at the beginning of her pregnancy and then went back.

I respect those who believe these stories are literal, just as I always hope and pray these individuals will respect my belief they are sacred stories, to show me how to live, how to love, how to reach out to God......

I have preached and journaled about God's promises to always be near by, yet the reality is...there are days that feel blurry and out of focus.

God had made promises to Abraham and Sarah, in this passage from Genesis, God's promises widened to include Hagar when she was at a weak moment.  She ran away in to the desert or the wilderness....and it was THERE God found her.

Darn...in the wilderness!!!

I may google to learn how many passages in scripture deal with "the" wilderness.

Fact is, God has made promises AND I will make journeys into the wilderness. That is life and the reality is, I cannot run away from life.   I have to "go back" and simple BE.

Be with the pain.  Be with the fatigue.  Be with the blurriness.

Just be, and God will hear me and answer me...God will give me the fortitude to "live."

Sunday, during Parlor Conversations, I stressed the difference between someone saying, "I am living with cancer." and "I am dying of cancer."

My self talk, the words I carry in my head and in my heart...all those words create filters.  Those words are powerful and help me either LIVE and BE PRESENT or to simply fold in on myself and allow the fatigue to control my day.  

: ) Honestly, I don't choose to spend my day looking and feeling like this picture!

Zephaniah is one of those little prophet guys, stuck between Habakkuk and Malachi.  Zephaniah's voice kept telling the Israelites that "Yes" they had access to God, AND they also had to bother with people as well.  For me this morning Zephaniah 3:17 is telling me that "Yes, I have promised to be near you AND you have to continue living with the 'bothers' of your reality."

...don't despair.Your God is present among you,    a strong Warrior there to save you.Happy to have you back, he'll calm you with his love    and delight you with his songs.

My legs are still achy and my head remains fuzzy from lack of sleep...AND I am rejoicing to be alive in this moment of time!

The sky is blue with big white fluffy clouds.  The temperatures are cool.  Cooper has been here this morning, charming me with his smile...

Yes indeed.  Life is good. Thanks be to God.

I Will Sing ~ Don Moen

AMEN!

Many Blessings ~ Sandi