Feasting with the Call to Love

Genuine love is so contrary to human nature that its presence bears witness to an extraordinary power. ~ John Piper


What we love usually manages to get into our conversation. What is down in the well of the heart will come up in the bucket of the speech. ~ Vance Havner


Lastly: Love, and do what you like. ~ St. Augustine

One Bread One Body by John Michael Talbot


Macrina doesn't waste time getting to the crux of her thoughts this morning.

"What does it mean to love? How do we spread this table in our hearts?" (Macrina Wiederkehr, A Tree Full of Angels, p 141)

In talking with couples asking to be married, I have often used thoughts of Gary Chapman from The Five Love Languages. Chapman begins talking how our culture has diluted the meaning of "love."

We "love" our children. We "love" the color red. We "love" fried chicken. We "love" the Indianapolis Colts. We "love"..... you get the idea.

Macrina expands on Chapman's thoughts by saying she believes "love" also suffers from underuse as a virtue.

"I would so like for my love to bear at least some faint resemblance to the love of Jesus. In my meditations this morning my thoughts returned to Sister Maggie, who died last year at the age of 83. On the morning of the day she died she walked into our superior's office and asked an amazing question. 'How do you love?' Sister Louise wasn't prepared for this one...What a wonderful question to still be asking when you're 83. What a wonderful question to be asking on the day you die." (Ibid)

My heart nearly stops as I read of Sister Maggie. Yes, I understand Macrina's thoughts of how wonderful...

I am reminded of sitting with my uncle this past February as he approached his time of passing to be with God.  This man was one of the most gentle, kindest, thoughtful men I had ever known.  I know he had a deep faith, yet he was a quiet individual who didn't wear his thoughts/beliefs on his sleeve. One morning, after a particularly difficult night my uncle took my hand and grabbed my full attention then asked, "What if it is a lie? What if everything I and you have said we believe is a lie?"

"Sister Louise spoke to Maggie about the love of Jesus, pointing out to her some of the ways Jesus loved. And then Sister Maggie burst forth with a cry of the heart that would probably be our own cry if we were able to check the depths of our hearts. 'Oh,' she said, 'I want to love. I want to love like that.' She died that evening. 

"I have a vision of God hearing her cry and saying, 'If she wants to love she's not going to learn it here, so I'll take her to my own heart.'" (Ibid)

I wonder how I can dare ask the harder questions, with such heart felt intensity that my uncle and Sister Maggie asked?

I ask questions... I am continually questioning and wondering... Yet, I wonder if these two people, asked from a deeper place?  I want to be able to dig down into the very depths of my heart...

How do you love?


These deeper questions ask for a deeper response.  Not a pat on the hand and a simple answer one might give a child.

Macrina challenges me to consider these questions that come from the depths of my heart where I normally do not dig.

"What do we see when we look into our families, our communities, our hearts? What do we see when we look into the faces of our parents, our sisters and brothers, our friends? Let's not wait until we're 83 to ask, 'How do you love?' Are we teaching one another what love is? I'm not sure of very much in life. I don't have a lot of ready answers, and I still do much wondering and pondering, but there's one thing of which I am certain. WE OUGHT NOT DIE UNTIL WE LEARN TO LOVE. Life doesn't work without love." (Ibid)

What does it mean to love like Jesus?

As a Christian, I believe I love, yet... and here comes the harder, the deeper question..... I am working on a 9/11 Remembrance Service.  Sitting with Macrina's thoughts, harder questions arise for me...

How do I love someone who I don't particularly like?

How do I love someone I don't know?

How do I love someone who doesn't love me?

How do I love someone who wishes me harm or even professes hatred toward me?

It is very easy to love my family and my friends. Even when I am "upset" with them, I still love them.

It is easy for me to "love" the needy among me...I send money or food, or clothing...but, Lord, I don't go live among them nor do I invite them into my home.

 I love from my abundance, it doesn't hurt or cost me to love.

That, I think, was the deeper question Sister Maggie was asking.  Honestly? I'm afraid to ask that question because I'm pretty sure I don't want to consider the response.

Today, I'm not ending my journaling with a warm fuzzy feeling.  Instead, this morning, I will carry the question of "How do I love?" with me throughout my day. Still, even in my unsettledness, I feel confident of God's love for me! Praise be to God!

Mark 14 never fails to stir my heart, but this morning vs 22-24

 ²² While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take it; this is my body.” ²³ Then he took a cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, and they all drank from it.
   ²⁴ “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many,” he said to them. ²⁵ “Truly I tell you, I will not drink again from the fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new in the kingdom of God.”

Even as I hold the hard questions...the deeper questions...I will also hold these words in my heart today and I will be glad.

Third Day

Children of God by Third Day


Lord, you showed us how to love, but I'm not sure my small heart can stretch as wide and broad...be as open as yours. Today, as I go about my day, open my eyes so that I might see as you see...help me to love as you love. AMEN.








Many Blessings ~ Sandi

Week III - Day 1 - The Perfect Cup

Joyce's poem on page 68...that page alone could have been my lesson for this day.  Phrases that stood out for me:

"I will love you, for you, not for what you have done
or what you'll become."

"it is time for me to see the flaws of myself and stop being alarmed.""it is time for me to receive slowly evolving growth the kind that comes in God's own good time and pays no heed to my panicky pushing.""it is time for me to embrace my humanness to love my incompleteness""if I wait to be perfect before I love myself, I will always be unsatisfied and ungrateful" (Joyce Rupp, The Cup of Life, p 68)

JJ Heller has a wonderful song that I suspect will also become an important part of this week's refection.  I hope you enjoy.What Love Really Means

For so long, I worked hard (and sometimes still fall into the trap) to be the perfect wife, mom, and Giz. To be the perfect Scout Leader, Room Mother, Elder, Post Prom Chair... To be the perfect...

 "it is time for me to embrace my humanness to love my incompleteness"

God, teach me love myself in my
humanness and in my incompleteness.

No matter how hard I try, I always come up short.  Sometimes in my own eyes and sometimes in the eyes of those I love or am striving to please.  I cannot be perfect.  I cannot remember everything.  I make mistakes.  God made me only human...and he loves me in my humanness and in my incompleteness.

Incompleteness is all around me.  I walked around my flower beds yesterday afternoon and was noticing that some areas did not fare well through this past winter.  This morning, however, I realize I was looking for perfection, or some notion in my head of what the flower beds "should" look like. I had made a mental note that if possible, I wanted to spend time today getting rid of some of the moss that has arrived this spring...uninvited... But this morning I am wondering if I might give myself permission to discover beauty within those same areas of my flower beds that caused a sense of restlessness and dissatisfaction yesterday.


"'Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect,' has been translated inaccurately. The actual text reads, 'Be whole as God is whole.' Wholeness implies a process, a gradual coming together into a oneness in which all the parts are integrated, but not necessarily perfect." (Rupp, p 69)




Breathprayer:
          Breathing in: Loved, loved...
          Breathing out: ....loved as I am

I watched a new Grandpa studying the
hands of his new little girl yesterday.  How
much more so God would lovingly study me.

Reflection:
        Holding my cup in my hands...
        Study the cup...
        Notice if there are any flaws or imperfections...
        Enjoy the cup...its color, shape, size...
        Imagine myself in God's hands...
        Imagine God observing me, studying me....
        Imagine God smiling and enjoying who I am....

Scripture: Psalm 139:13-14
For it was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you for I am...wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works.


Journaling:
Make a list of your expectations of a) yourself, b) others.
Write a dialogue between God and the part of yourself that you especially struggle with accepting.
Dear God, when I picture you smiling and enjoying who I am, I...

As loving as my dad is...
God's love is greater still.

I am blessed to be the much loved daughter of the most wonderful dad.  I cannot imagine a daddy being any more loving, more protective, more generous...than my Dad.  God, when I picture you smiling and enjoying me...I picture my dad.... My dad, whose eyes always seem to light up a bit whenever I walk into his range of vision. My dad, whose eyes were distressed and grieved when he leaned over my hospital bed following a horrific car accident. My dad, who has held me and hugged me.  My dad, who has been the world to me...it is so hard to comprehend that your eyes, your touch, your hugs....would be all that plus so much more.  My dad loves me unconditionally...and I know that in every fiber of my being. Yet, you love me even more...

Striving for Perfection = Headaches

God, I get so frustrated when I screw up!  You have given me great gifts, yet I do not always use them wisely...and I know better!  I talk when I should listen.  I push when I should be still. I demand when I should be gracious. I react when I should pause...  Those are the things that make me crazy!  I say I want to please you, and then sometimes I forget you are here.

I expect myself to always be kind and gracious.  I expect myself to not judge...especially people, but situations and circumstances as well.  I expect myself to always get things done in a timely manner.  I expect my home to be neat and attractive.  I expect....  Geeze...I expect perfection!  No wonder my head hurts....all to often!

Prayer:  (Joyce's prayer is so perfect...)
Dear God, a long time ago I learned that you never make junk. You created me as a human person whose journey of life is the path to wholeness. This journey needs room for growth and space for evolving discovery. Each day is another opportunity to receive your help and your love as I become the person I am meant to be. Help me to love myself well and to entrust my growth to your guidance. Remind me often that I am "wonderfully made" (Ps 139:14)


Today:
I will not criticize or find fault with myself or others.


Ummmm Sounds as though I could use a dose of humbleness for this day.  "God dwells within me as me." Casting Crowns offers me a song to get my world tilted a bit more toward "wholeness" this morning.  It isn't about me...it is about Him. Who Am I - Casting Crowns


Many Blessings ~ Sandi