Feasting On A Storm...

"The wise man in the storm prays to God, not for safety from danger, but deliverance from fear." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm." 


One of my favorite songs from one of my favorite groups... Praise You In This Storm ~ Casting Crowns

Last week, Irene caused thousands of people to change their plans, to pack up and leave, or stock up and stay.  Grocery shelves were empty, gas prices rose and even though Irene was weaker than previously predicted, she caused millions of dollars of damage and claimed the lives of at least 45 people.

I actually read Macrina's journal entry on feasting on a storm Monday morning, but my heart was so full of the images of Irene, I couldn't follow Macrina's thoughts.  Today, I am still not in full agreement, yet I can hold her insights with open hands, acknowledging they are "her" insights and I can wrestle with them, embrace them, forget about them... : )

"Today I felt rather empty and unvisited by God. Then about two o'clock in the afternoon, after I had prayed for the hundredth time, 'O when will You come?' God came. God came in a storm, a wonderful storm that bent everything to the ground in adoration. The Great Spirit has a way of bending us when we forget to adore. While the lightning is flashing and crashing, the trees bending to the ground in adoration, men and women are at l sat aware that something majestic and extreme is being celebrated in their midst. With each storm the peoples of the earth may fall to the ground in adoration, stand in awe and silence, or fall to their knees in fright. Regardless of which position we take, at least God has gotten our attention. The extremely unenlightened do not even notice God's presence in the storm." (Macrina Wiederkehr, A Tree Full of Angels, p 144)

Yes, I have seen great beauty within a storm.  I have noticed how fresh the air can be following a spring rain.  I have imagined the nitrogen that enters the plants as lightening breaks a part molecules.

A storm changes things, just ask the victims of Hurricane Irene.

Okay, I will admit that reading Macrina's thoughts on Monday, I felt a little angry.

"How insensitive! You wish for God, and He comes to you in a storm, but what about the damage caused by that storm?"

I may be a bit anal regarding people who "wish" for something and then receive what they wish for, not thinking about the ramifications for others. Many years ago, we were experiencing a drought. A neighbor wished for rain, saying he wouldn't even mind some hail.

Well, it rained, but guess whose crops were destroyed by the hail storm? : )


"The wise man in the storm prays to God, not for safety from danger, but deliverance from fear." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm." 


For the most part, I don't like storms and I will admit...it is VERY difficult for me to have serenity within a storm of nature or a storm of life.  I'm working on it, but I'm still a long way from experiencing peace over anxiety and fear.

As it often happens, if I ignore one message, God seems to send another my way.  This morning, after ignoring Macrina all week Sarah Young gives me another opportunity to consider discovering God within a storm.

"Seek Me with your whole being. I desire to be found by you and I orchestrate the events of your life with that purpose in mind. When things go well and you are blessed, you can feel Me smiling on you.When you encounter rough patches along your life-journey, trust that My Light is still shining upon you. My reasons for allowing these adversities may be shrouded in mystery, but My continual Presence with you is an absolute promise. Seek Me in good times; seek Me in hard times. You will find Me watching over you all the time." (Sarah Young, Jesus Calling, Sept 1)

Darn....I have to admit that every storm encountered, I have been transformed...normally for the better. AND I have admitted that I don't know that I would have become that person without the storm.

Eugene Peterson, in The Message Bible, transposes Hebrews 10:19-23 to read:

^19-21So, friends, we can now—without hesitation—walk right up to God, into "the Holy Place." Jesus has cleared the way by the blood of his sacrifice, acting as our priest before God. The "curtain" into God's presence is his body. ^22-25So let's do it—full of belief, confident that we're presentable inside and out. Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.

In his commentary on these verses Peterson writes:

"...the high priest offered sacrifices to maintain peaceful coexistence, to keep hostility from breaking out from either side...What that means for us is that we can now receive and give in relation to God without hesitation, without negotiation, without caution, without reserve. The way is clear." (Eugene Peterson, The Message Bible, p 1901) 

OKAY! You know what came to mind? Sacrifices to an angry God, to keep "hostility" from breaking out...?

Because of my belief in Jesus as Savior, I do not need to fear the "hostility" of an angry God.  Because of Jesus, I can pray for deliverance from my fear within the storm so that I might know peace.

Serenity.

Peace within the storm.

I'm trying. : ) You know, I might be at the point on my journey that I am better of finding peace within the storms of life than in the past.  I'm a long way from being able to praise in gratitude and finding beauty within the storm.

Ummm, I chose a ship as an image for "peace within the storm" and what story does that bring to mind!  Matthew 8:16-27

Jesus is with me, just as he was with the disciples!

In this story I am reminded that Jesus is the all powerful and the all compassionate One.

If I want the courage that comes from his presence, I must fill up my heart with "WHO" he is.

In this passage I read that Jesus had been healing people all day.  Peterson writes:

"He cured the bodily ill. He fulfilled Isaiah's well-known sermon: 'He took our illnesses. He carried our diseases.' (Matthew 8:16-18)

Matthew is making sure his audience knows "who" Jesus is by this story.  Then, if I believe this about Jesus, why am I not able to praise him within the storm? Why am I like the disciples who cried out, "Save us, Lord!"?

The good news for me is that even though Jesus reprimanded the disciples, "Why are you such cowards, such fainthearts?" He then stood up and told the wind to be silent, the sea to quiet down.

I have journaled before that I am a Child of God who gives second chances.  Yes, I may need the reprimand given to the disciples, but I can also trust that the All Compassionate AND All Powerful One is riding the storm alongside me AND that his peace, his serenity is available to me.

Sometimes He Calms the Storm by Scott Krippane


Sometimes he calms the storm with a whisper...sometimes he holds us close as the wind and waves go wild...sometimes he calms the storm and other times he calms his child...

Storms are a part of living.  Sometimes they are storms of nature.  Sometimes they are storms within relationships.  Sometimes they are storms of terror from others or from Wall Street.  Sometimes they are storms of illness.

Regardless, I can know that the All Compassionate One AND the All Powerful One is in the boat with me.

Lord, you know the recent storm that has hit my family and you know the fear and the terror of the unknown that is rising in all our hearts.  This morning I am not asking that you remove the storm, I know this is a storm we will have to ride out, together...along with you.  So, I am not asking you to quiet the storm; I am asking that you quiet the storm of fear and anxiety that is capturing the hearts of those I love, as well as my own. I am asking you to help all of us discover your presence with us and to lean into your compassionate arms in trust....Lord, help me, help those I love to discover your peace and your serenity within this storm. AMEN.


Many Blessings ~ Sandi

Little - Great - One, Come Home - II

Listen, with the eyes of your heart, how Eugene Peterson translates this familiar story from Luke 15:

The Story of the Lost Son

 ^11-12Then he said, "There was once a man who had two sons. The younger said to his father, 'Father, I want right now what's coming to me.'

Last time I preached on this text, I called it the
Story of the Prodigal Father.

 ^12-16"So the father divided the property between them. It wasn't long before the younger son packed his bags and left for a distant country. There, undisciplined and dissipated, he wasted everything he had. After he had gone through all his money, there was a bad famine all through that country and he began to hurt. He signed on with a citizen there who assigned him to his fields to slop the pigs. He was so hungry he would have eaten the corncobs in the pig slop, but no one would give him any.

 ^17-20"That brought him to his senses. He said, 'All those farmhands working for my father sit down to three meals a day, and here I am starving to death. I'm going back to my father. I'll say to him, Father, I've sinned against God, I've sinned before you; I don't deserve to be called your son. Take me on as a hired hand.' He got right up and went home to his father.

 ^20-21"When he was still a long way off, his father saw him. His heart pounding, he ran out, embraced him, and kissed him. The son started his speech: 'Father, I've sinned against God, I've sinned before you; I don't deserve to be called your son ever again.'

 ^22-24"But the father wasn't listening. He was calling to the servants, 'Quick. Bring a clean set of clothes and dress him. Put the family ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Then get a grain-fed heifer and roast it. We're going to feast! We're going to have a wonderful time! My son is here—given up for dead and now alive! Given up for lost and now found!' And they began to have a wonderful time.

This has to be one of my favorite stories.

 ^25-27"All this time his older son was out in the field. When the day's work was done he came in. As he approached the house, he heard the music and dancing. Calling over one of the houseboys, he asked what was going on. He told him, 'Your brother came home. Your father has ordered a feast—barbecued beef!—because he has him home safe and sound.'

 ^28-30"The older brother stalked off in an angry sulk and refused to join in. His father came out and tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't listen. The son said, 'Look how many years I've stayed here serving you, never giving you one moment of grief, but have you ever thrown a party for me and my friends? Then this son of yours who has thrown away your money on whores shows up and you go all out with a feast!'

 ^31-32"His father said, 'Son, you don't understand. You're with me all the time, and everything that is mine is yours—but this is a wonderful time, and we had to celebrate. This brother of yours was dead, and he's alive! He was lost, and he's found!'"

Listen to the story again, this time as Philips, Craig, and Dean translate this wonderful story of love, of discovering self, of forgiveness...... of coming home. I like to substitute "daughter" in place of "son". I fully appreciate this song would be difficult to sing with the female. : )  When God Ran...

I have an hour and half drive in a few minutes in order to attend one of those all day long church meetings. This morning, I intended to simply share the story of the Prodigal with you, but then I was once again greeted by the ramblings of my Soul Sister.  She has a wonderful heart that is seeking for a closeness with God.  I hope she doesn't care if I share some of her thoughts:

I am looking to use this study to be, slow down, not miss what I have at the present - saying this....these are words I missed from the "Acknowledgments that now struck me.

solitude

poetry

silence

more than I could hold

constant reminder

fills the day with song

holy place was in God's design

hours

insights and suggestions

love, support, and affirmation

If I could sit with these terms awhile...maybe it isn't if I could, maybe it is....if I would.

 I think that these are the ideas that I overlooked on my first reading, but they may be what I am yearning to have or give.  In my constantly hurried and frazzled state, I do not often get/take the chance to really sit with God, myself, my thoughts, etc.  These words seemed to shout at me today.  Really listen and find these things you skipped on your first reading.

 
As I moved to the introduction...
authentic yearning
present moment
simple gifts at fingertips
good earth

Then..."This book is about trusting the power for good." - page xi.  Hm mm....even in myself?  As I turned the page, I saw who the book was for and I  thought - I am looking for these people also - "people who LONG for spiritual depth and have the courage to STRUGGLE with eternal questions that rise in their hearts" - xii.  I am not looking for someone to answer all my questions, just people who will be honest in the process.    Hoping to "find the grace that waits for you (me) there." - xii.  I want to know and believe there are others who want to "embrace and celebrate this ache for God rather than ignoring or denying it" - xii.

there is no escape from that loving gaze - PRAISE BE

I stopped and questioned whether I recognize that "this ache for God that lives in EVERY heart." - xiii.  I think I am quick to dismiss those that do not appear to have the ache.  Yikes.

I then moved to the idea of feast/famine.  Neither is acceptable in daily eating habits or in the biblical digestion of the Word of God, nor in the time I spend with people or Christ.  I need to have a continuous daily feeding of crumbs.  I may not have large amounts of time, but I must make enough to sustain me.  The Lord will provide my daily bread.  We live in a country with such abundance, that even the amount of time and energy that I have gets misdirected.  "The ache in our (my) heart needs to be fed.  Crumbs are entirely sufficient." - xiii

Feasting on crumbs...

banquet of daily lifethere are no leftoversEverything in life can be nourishingbe thereBeing present with QUALITY is a decision we are invited to make EACH day.Our real presence can feed the ache for God in others.Spending the days in the fast lane of life impairs the quality of your seeing.Slow down The choice is mine.  "Am I too busy with my own agenda to let God's agenda bless me?" - xiv  I do not want to be too busy.  Really, what is my goal/goals?  I am not focused.  Am I even making choices?  Then...I reread 1.  Little-Great-One, Come Home (hence the Come Home themed tunes, I had to look up.  Really thought about doing some research on my name, but...that is for another time. 

I did jot a note in the book about it.)it's part of the journey to be in process

being there 

I love this woman.  She speaks to my heart.

All this thinking about the Church, I have got to hit the road!!! Interesting enough, my Soul Sister shared the same song with me that I had intended to share within this journal.  When I want simple and beautiful I go to Acappella.  Enjoy....Come Home

Many Blessings ~ Sandi

The Introduction of a Tree Full of Angels - II

Scottish Historian
1795 - 1881

"Wonder is the basis of worship." ~ Thomas Carlyle

I have referred to her as a Sister of Spirit, sometimes I wonder if she is a Soul Sister. This morning I was greeted by several videos from Youtube and many short reflections on this book.  The last video she acknowledged is "not my style" yet she thought it so fitting with this book.  I logged on, and she was right, but then I discovered the same song by Reba McEntire. I do Reba. A Sky Full of Angels and this is a fun way to begin a Monday morning!

Last week I journaled about the first part of Macrina's introduction.  I decided I had all my head and heart could hold; especially with the images/thoughts of "the altar of daily life" and "living under the eye of God".  I have wondered how I can possibly walk this path, but then I continue reading and Macrina shares that my heart can be fed...with "crumbs".  Oh do I wish I knew how to draw within a blog!

But, to back up just a bit...

Macrina writes that there are two things that I must embrace to find God's saving grace.

"Crumbs" can bless and feed
me if I am "present"

1. Embrace/Recognize that there is an "ache" within my heart for God.  Macrina believes that this ache resides within every heart. (I might use the word "emptiness"...which could also produce an "ache."
2. That I have a "gift"; a gift of my frailty and my splendor, to bring to this ache. 

Macrina says the "ache" in my heart must be fed AND that "crumbs" are sufficient.  She describes these crumbs as:

"...those small things that the world would toss aside, seeing little value in them. However, to the one who lives under the eye of God, they are far from valueless...the person who has learned to see with inner eyes there are no leftovers.  Everything in life can be nourishing.  Everything can bless us, but I have got to be there for the blessing to occur. Being present with quality is a decision we are invited to make each day." (Macrina Wiederkehr, A Tree Full of Angels, p xiii)

Clutter = Knotted Thoughts

 Being present...Joyce Rupp, and other teachers, continue to talk to me about the challenge of "busyness", of all the distractions - the clutter that work to keep me from being present the sacred that is around me every day.  I have referred to these things as "demons" within me that are just as powerful as the demons I read about in scripture.  Loosening the grip, the influence, of these demons on my heart is a never ending task...it is not easy. Yet, making this decision and doing my best to feed my soul in order to accomplish this, is a kind of salvation.  Macrina writes that it can save me from many kinds of death:

"...the death of apathy and mediocrity, the death of carelessness, the death of boredom, the death of selfishness, the death of meaningless.  There is nothing so healing in all the world as real presence. Our real presence can feed the ache for God in others." (Ibid)

 I never thought of being present as healing...hummm.  Although I speak of "God's healing presence."...

Fields to plant, children to feed, house to clean, yard to mow
I became so busy I was missing the wonder, the crumbs...

Thinking in terms of the ache, that Macrina says is in my heart, I can see that being present to the one who created me, the one who holds all I see and have...being present to that being would be healing.  I can remember that ache when I went to college.  I began walking across campus to attend University Presbyterian Church.  I was so amazed to discover worship I had not experienced as a teen.  Feelings similar to ones I had experienced at church camp, once again surfaced in my heart. But then...I became so caught up in "doing" as a young adult, that I ignored the "ache"...kind of.  I remember listening to Christian radio, following Bible teachers like Jay Vernon McGee, Praise Gathering...searching for something but I wasn't sure what that something was...

Presence.  Healing Presence.

"This is a book about seeing and harvesting. Seeing the holy in the ordinary! Harvesting angels out of crumbs! Spending your days in the fast lane of life impairs the quality of your seeing...You live in a world of theophanies. Holiness comes wrapped in the ordinary. There are burning bushes all around you. Every tree is full of angels. Hidden beauty is waiting in every crumb." (Ibid)

My yard is FULL of these crumbs, how many have
I stopped to notice? REALLY notice in order to be fed?

Wow...she continues...

"Life wants to lead you from crumbs to angels, but this can happen only if you are willing to unwrap the ordinary by staying with it long enough to harvest its treasure." 

Just in case I miss her point, Macrina offers me some wonderful examples:

If this is true, I hope they are
not the SAME mistakes!

• a spider web, wearing the mourning's dew
• a mistake, reflected upon and learned from
• reconciliation after a quarrel
• an autumn tree letting go of her leaves
• a spring tree putting leaves on again
• a wound, embraced and understood.

"The question remains. Will I be there? Will I be there with my eyes open? Will I unwrap the gift of the ordinary? Will I gather up the crumbs? Will I harvest the angels hidden in those crumbs?" (Wiederkehr, p xiv)

"Glory" reflected from simple glass beads.

One of the learnings from my last car accident was that each day is a gift for me to unwrap AND that it is my choice as to if and how I unwrap that gift.  I have shared that with others so many times!  Now, Macrina is giving me back my words.  She is reminding me of the learning I gained from that terrible experience....blessings that came from pain and tears.

"The incredible gift of the ordinary! Glory comes streaming from the table of daily life. Will I be there to catch the rays or will I remain blind to the holy because I am too busy to see? Am I too busy with my own agenda to let God's agenda bless me?" (Ibid)

This is how it is with blessings,
they just keep going, and going....

Macrina tells me that one of the treasurers she is intent on helping me harvest is the seed of my own goodness, my possibility for splendor.  I never thought of "me" having a possibility for splendor.  I don't think I have ever thought of "me" and "splendor" in the same sentence! What strikes me next is Macrina's thinking back to blessings, to "confirmations" of her writing this book and how she asked a blessing on the contents from the author of an old book, a Jesuit by the name of Raoul Plus.  She writes that we ought not take "experiences" (I think she might have said "coincidences"). She tells how Raoul Plus blessed her and in turn, so am I. That is how it is...I can make a difference in this world..."I" can change this world by being present.  When I am present and receiving the blessings of the crumbs that are all around me, I in turn then pass that blessing on...

Faith and Courage = Trust

"This brings me to the heart of this book, which is trusting the God who speaks to us (me) in our experiences at every moment." (Ibid)

There is that word again! TRUST!

Macrina shares that from childhood she has had an insatiable desire to know, yet she did not automatically believe everything she was taught.  WHOA! Does this remind you of Thomas from scripture? "I asked questions, though more often in the depths of my soul than aloud. My desire for knowledge and my yearning for the truth encouraged me to spend lots of time with my soul." (Wiederkehr, p xv)

Eugene Peterson and Jesus

Eugene Peterson, one of my favorite teachers has written a great book, "Eat This Book - a conversation in spiritual reading"

“‘Son of man, eat this book that I am giving you. Make a full meal of it!’ So I ate it. It tasted so good—just like honey,” Ezekiel 3:1-15.

I want to also hold Peterson's wisdom in my hand as I hold this book of Macrina's.  There are so many thoughts and unless I read slowly, chewing on the ideas and images...the memories that come to mind, I will have done nothing more than "read" a book.

I was on vacation during the last week of April.  I wish I had kept track of the number of times someone asked, "So, what did you DO on your vacation?"  Our culture expects me to "DO" something with nearly every minute of my day.  Studying the underneath side of a dandelion would be seen as a hopeless waste of time by many.  Someone asked me recently why it is "we", as a culture seem to judge things negatively so much. I don't know, in so many ways society is negative, we look for the bad instead of building up the positive.

This "critical" eye of expectations

 I couldn't help but smile when I found this cartoon. It is a political statement, but when I ignore that, I can see some truth that is helpful for me to remember. Think about it, San...think how the "critical/judgmental" eye of "expectations" is very different than living under the eye of God. 

"DOG" backwards is "GOD" : )

Many times, I would sit and talk to my beloved Riley...I told people that I thought he had God's eyes.  His eyes always were listening.  His eyes were attentive, watching my face as I shared. His eyes were always loving, never judgmental. 

I miss that big guy so much....In many ways Riley was a reminder for me to notice the Angels in the Trees...to notice the holy in the ordinary.  While there was nothing ordinary about my dirty and smelly rotty...he was "just" a dog...an ordinary dog who blessed my life every time I stopped to notice.

"You are a dwelling place for the Source of All Life. You are an offspring of the One who said, 'I Am who I Am.' If the One who gave you birth lives within you, surely you can find some resources there in your sacred Center. An expert lives within you. An expert breathes out of you. Are you able to be still enough to become intimate with the One who lives within?...Frail dust, remember, you are splendor!" (Wiederkehr, p xvi)

God, with your Spirit's help, I am not going to hurry through this book.  I am not setting any expectation of time. Lord, help me to savor the words and the insights so that I might discover you all around me...and within me. Help me remember I am living under your eye...which is loving, accepting, encouraging, and supportive. AMEN.

Another song my Soul Sister blessed me with this morning. The video she sent was doing funny things on my computer, so I have included a different one...that I think speaks so well of noticing the ordinary...and discovering the holy.  Watch for the hungry baby bird...God, let that be me...hungry for your Word! : )

Steven Curtis Chapman - Be Still 

Many Blessings ~ Sandi