Week II - Day 5 - Trust

Devotion written as though
Jesus is speaking to the reader.

My eldest daughter began a 365 Day Devotional during Lent entitled Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.  While at Half-Price, I saw the book and decided to follow along as she read.  However, with all my own reading, I have  not read from this book every day.  I have, though, picked it up on mornings like today, and have been surprised by how the devotion fits hand in hand with The Cup of Life reading.

"I am a God of both intricate detail and overflowing abundance. When you entrust the details of your life to Me, you are surprised by how thoroughly I answer your petitions. I take pleasure in hearing your prayers,...Best of all, your faith is strengthened as you see how precisely I respond to your specif prayers.

"Because I am infinite in all My ways, you need not fear that I will run out of resources. Abundance is at the very heart of who I am. ...Come to Me with open hands and heart, ready to receive all I have for you." (Ps 36:7-9, Ps 132:15, John 6:12-13)


Did you notice the two "surprised"?

Possibly Faith + Courage = Trust??

I continue to be surprised by how well God knows my inner heart, the things that I do not share with anyone, sometimes not even myself!

I have gained a great appreciation how Chinese symbols often add great depth to a word by the meaning of the symbols that make up a word such as "Trust". I cannot find a reliable source to interpret these two symbols this morning, and because I have to leave here shortly, I do not have time to search.  Possibly, one of you might know these symbols or be able to pass along a resource to help.  As best as I can "GUESS" this morning the word trust is made up of the symbols of Faith and Courage.  If not these two, I suspect the correct answer may still be close.

http://www.kristinnoelle.com/2011/02/

Faith and Courage.

A friend has been facilitating a small group conversation on the book Lead Like Jesus in her church. A few weeks ago she spent an entire gathering talking about "Trust".  I sent her a link for Kristin Noelle's site. Kristin sketches wonderful images to go a long with a theme.  All during February, her theme was trust.

Look at all Kristin has identified as needing to "let go of" in order to trust.  I also noticed she titled this sketch "how to love."

This morning Joyce shared with you and I that "trust" is the foundation of "love."

You can learn more about Teresa at
http://carmelitani.wordpress.com/
prayer/saint-teresa-davila/

She then nudged me a little deeper by offering that St. Teresa of Avila prayed that she would let God be enough for her.

Reading that...caused me to pause....for several moments. Thank goodness Joyce shared her own difficulty with this, otherwise I might have begun thinking I will never "get it."

"Trusting God with our lives can be difficult because we often feel vulnerable when emptying happens. Yet, the more we are at home with God, the more we can let of of our fears." (Joyce Rupp, The Cup of Life, p 58)

Joyce then goes on to say: "If your trust has been wounded by others, ask God to restore your confidence." 

Oh...how many times have I been disappointed or hurt?  How many times have I disappointed and hurt another?

I, and perhaps you, base what we know to be true from our human relationships and no matter how valuable and good that relationship might be...there have been many times when my trust in someone has caused me hurt and disappointment AND if you asked each individual I have been hurt by, I am sure they would tell you the same thing about me.

Breathprayer:
           Breathing in: I trust you...
           Breathing out:...with my life.


Reflection:
Place your cup in a safe spot in front of you
Let it remind you of your desire to receive God's love.
Close your eyes.
Draw near to God.
Allow yourself to feel safe there.
Enjoy this secure haven.
Let God be enough for you.
Embrace God's love as you are enfolded in peace.


Scripture: Psalm 56:2, 9
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
This I know, that God is for me.


Journaling:
What keeps me from trusting God with my life?
I remember people whom I have trusted and who held that trust in a safe haven for me. (List these names) Recall what it was about them that gave you a sense of safety and trust.)
Write a dialogue with God. Ask God about trust and about "being enough" for you.


What keeps me from trusting God with my life?

A few years ago I went to see Terry Hershey speak in Columbus, Ohio.  I do not remember a lot from that weekend except the image of Jesus in skin from a delightful story that Terry shared:

This little boy was having nightmares. You know, the bad kind where you have to go to mama. It's really no use going to dad because he just says, “Go to mama.” 

“Mama, mama, I'm having nightmares!” 

“It's OK honey. Here's what I want you to do: I want you to go back to your room. I want you to knell down by your bed. I want you to pray to Jesus and he'll fix it.”

“OK, mom.”

He went back to his room, knelt down by his bed, prayed to Jesus, got back in bed and he had more nightmares. All mamas out there, you know this story. Back and forth to mama all night long, six times: “Mama, mama, I'm having nightmares!”

“I know, honey.”

“I know mom. I'm going back to my room. I'm going to kneel down by my bed. I'm going to pray to Jesus and he'll fix it. But before I do that, can I just lay in bed with you and have you hold me?”

“Well, sure honey. Why?”

“Because sometimes, mama, I need Jesus with skin on him!”

I have felt like that little boy before and these were the needs Joyce shared about the time she had surgery...

"...As I lay there wishing that I was any place but in a hospital, words of surrender formed in my spirit. I was able to truly pray: 'Into your hands, I surrender my life.'" (Ibid)

As I journaled, even those people I have trusted, at one time or another have let me down...for some reason and often unintentionally.  As I sit with this, I am asking God today to begin helping me to restore my confidence...so that I can let go of the wounds...I have not even thought about carrying until this morning!

To help me let go of those old wounds so that I might more fully lean into him...in trust.

Honestly? Some of those old wounds are really nothing more than part of my "trash" that litters my heart, preventing me from becoming empty before God.

Honestly? Some of Joyce's readings need to stretch over more than one day! : )

Prayer: (based on the prayer of St. Teresa of Avila)

"Let nothing disturb me, nothing frighten me. Let nothing take away my peace. May I wait with trust, with patience, knowing you will provide for me. I lack for nothing in you, God. You are my strong foundation. You are enough for me." (Rupp, p 59)

What I am going to do today...I am going to write the Breathprayer on a couple of cards and carry them with me during the day.  In fact, I may write down all the Breathprayers at some point and keep one in my purse, on the dashboard of my car, on my computer monitor, on my bathroom mirror.... because it is only by consistently practicing these prayers of breath, that they become habit.  And...once they become habit, I suspect some of my trash may be left on the curb AND that I will not so willingly pick up more!

Wonderful journaling questions today!

Trust is the foundation of love.

God, when I drink from my cup, or any cup, today, help me remember how much you do love me.  Help erase the times of hurt and disappointment. Help me remember instead the feeling of being secure and safe within these relationships...because God, there have been so MANY more of these moments than the other!! Help me take the things I know in my head and place them securely in my heart. AMEN.

Breathing in: I trust you....
Breathing out:...with my life.

Many Blessings ~ Sandi