Gather Up the Crumbs - Celebrating/Feasting/Moving On

"We stand in the midst of nourishment and we starve. We dwell in the land of plenty, yet we persist in going hungry. Not only do we dwell in the land of plenty; we have the capacity to be filled with the utter fullness of God." (Eph. 3:16-19)


Lord, I have wandered through my life, searching for purpose, love, meaning... It wasn't until I learned to pause, to be silent, to become vulnerable did I realize you were offering me manna along the journey, manna that would lead me to you, my true love, my true purpose and meaning.  Thank you, O God of never ending second chances! If it weren't for your love, I would still be wandering, missing the nourishing crumbs of blessing that you have strung along my path. AMEN.

Words/Insights/Quotes/Poetry:

We are "made" by words.

I've a good friend who I lovingly refer to as "My Word Maven".  He reads and retains at a level I can only stand and be amazed. Others, who do complicated crossword puzzles or excel at Scrabble, amaze me. Or, there are the pastors who give wonderful prayers at the drop of a hat, using and connecting words in a way I never think of connecting.

I do not feel as though I am good with words, yet I appreciate the power and the beauty of words.  I love this image that is made by using words, it reminds me that there is great truth in the saying, "You are what you eat."

Jesus is referred to in scripture as "The Word". If that doesn't give me a clue to the power and importance of words, nothing would! My choice is one, how I respond to the words that fill my world.  Two, my choice is also to discern which words are nourishing crumbs and which will make me sick.

Listen! Jesus said, "May those with eyes, see...and may those with ears, hear." Elijah did not find God in the wind or in the fire, or....Elijah found God in a whisper.  In order for me to be fed by the crumbs of words, I have got to LISTEN!  When I am still. When I let go of my agenda. When I take intentional time to pause. When I....I can hear and I am fed.

Two, there are MANY scripture passages that remind me that not all words are nourishing. Just a few from Proverbs:

• The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit. Proverbs 15:4
• Whoever derides their neighbor has no sense, but the one who has understanding holds their tongue. Proverbs 11:12
• A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin. Proverbs 26:28
• She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. Proverbs 31:26

I mentioned poetry.  Carl Sandburg expressed so well the nourishing crumbs of these words.

Poetry is the journal of the sea animal living on land, wanting to fly in the air.  Poetry is a search for syllables to shoot at the barriers of the unknown and the unknowable.  Poetry is a phantom script telling how rainbows are made and why they go away.                           ~ Carl Sandburg Poetry Considered

Words connected together within insights, quotes, poetry, scripture....nourish me and build me up.  These words help me to pause and be still.  These words remind me of the love that is mine, if I am only awake to hear.

People/Connectedness:


Without others to speak the truth to me in love.  John Donne said, "No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main."




God created me to be a part of the world and this world is full of others!

Life is about relationship. Not only relationship with God, but relationship with God's creation, and that includes a whole lot of people who were created differently than me.

When I am awake and open, I can gather the crumbs of blessing from other people.  Sometimes those crumbs are offered within words of affirmation and sometimes they are offered within words of criticism. Notice I am back at the word thing?

My crumbs are separate, yet a piece of another.

I am thankful for the relationships in my life that build me up, encourage me, guide me, care for me...and I am thankful I am learning to see these acts of love expressed in ways that might not always "feel good" but are offered in love.

Prayer:

To pray is to ...

I so loved Macrina's insight that "To pray is to touch God and let God touch us."


Honestly? I am only just now beginning to fully appreciate the power, the love, the EVERYTHING that is prayer.

I've "prayed" for most of my life, yet my prayers often felt rote or empty. I am only now beginning to appreciate that my prayers do not have to be the "WOW" kind of prayers that carry full images and wonderful insights.

I am only now, beginning to appreciate that I am praying much of the day, some times without even realizing.  I have caught myself reading a poem, or watching a video, or witnessing an act of love...and I will whisper, "Isn't that great!" And as I have thought more about prayer, when I utter those words, I realize that they are a prayer.

As I continue to walk along my journey, my hope and my prayer is that I am in a place of prayer throughout my day.

By using the gifts God gave them, and by observing the
crumbs along the path, they found their way home!

Lord, writing within this journal, is also a form of prayer.  I often find myself wanting to stay, and soak up more of the nourishment that is mine within this time.  But, I am looking at the clock and I realize I will miss the opening program of VBS this morning.  I thank you and praise you that this congregation is quite capable to doing things without me always being present!  They are wonderful and nourishing crumbs that you have blessed me with during this time in my journey to you.  I thank you for them and for all the children who will walk through the doors of the church today.  Bless each one.  Bless me, Lord so that I might find my way home by gathering the crumbs you have placed along my path.  AMEN.

Here's a video that is not a worship video. This video is a great reminder that what is held up in this world, what seems so very important and "real" is so fleeting.  It is a good reminder for me to Follow the Son rather than the stuff of this world.

"I'll Follow the Son" the Beatles...

Many Blessings ~ Sandi

Gather Up the Crumbs - Just another ordinary day....

Wonderful and Creative God, I'm hitting the road early this morning to take a lo-salt casserole to my folks and then to head to VBS.  After VBS...a trip to the hospital to visit my lady on dialysis. Writing about these things, I know between my parents, the kids and volunteers, Pat and the nursing staff I will have many opportunities to soak in your presence if I only stay awake. AMEN.






Music and Videos:
Sarah Mclachlan has a wonderful song that reminds me I am surrounded by miracles.  Another individual has done a wonderful job putting images to Sarah's words. Alone, music and images speak to my heart and bless my soul. They are nourishing crumbs that sustain me when I am feeling strong and when I am discouraged or sad.

While I have long been aware of how much I enjoy both these gifts of God [music and art], I had not thought of them as manna...as crumbs to feed me, as crumbs to give me strength, as crumbs that connect me with God.

Sarah Mclachlan

I'm headed out.  I hope you enjoy this video Ordinary Miracle...

God of surprise and beauty, by your Spirit help me to see you within my day.  Help me catch some of your miracles within the ordinary settings of my life.  AMEN.


Many Blessings ~ Sandi

Gathering my crumbs...Physical Limitations

Amen and amen.

This is true and has been my mantra for
years. But...when it becomes "me"...

I am unbelievably tired after several days of going going going and days of questions and worry. I used to become very irritated with myself when I "crashed", often refusing to acknowledging how tired my body and mind were feeling.  By sheer will power, I would "pull myself up by my bootstraps" and move forward, believing my mind was stronger than anything else.  While, believing the only limitation is my mind did help me accomplish far more than doctors thought possible, it can also keep me form leaning into and depending upon my true source of strength.



Physical Limitations:
I would have to say my last accident and the physical limitations that it has left me with, is a crumb.My physical condition has made me more vulnerable and in the course of working through the limitations I have become wiser.

Instead of seeing my broken body as a negative, a problem... and seeing it as a blessing, a crumb, I am opened to seeing God within these times.  I am opened to admitting I am not in control of my today or my tomorrow.  I can influence these times by the choices I make...but I am not in control.  I am only one little being in this universe that is full of little beings like myself.  I have gained a greater appreciation for how we are all interconnected and how other's decisions impact me, just as mine have an impact on another.  And....within, between, beneath, and above all these little beings is a loving God.

Psalm 42 as paraphrased by Eugene Peterson in The Message Bible has become my "prayer", my "mantra", my reminder of who and whose I am....

^1-3 A white-tailed deer drinks from the creek;
   I want to drink God,
      deep draughts of God.
   I'm thirsty for God-alive.
   I wonder, "Will I ever make it— 
      arrive and drink in God's presence?"
   I'm on a diet of tears—
      tears for breakfast, tears for supper.
   All day long
      people knock at my door,
   Pestering,
      "Where is this God of yours?" 

 ⁴ These are the things I go over and over, 
      emptying out the pockets of my life.
   I was always at the head of the worshiping crowd, 
      right out in front, 
   Leading them all, 
      eager to arrive and worship,
   Shouting praises, singing thanksgiving—
      celebrating, all of us, God's feast! 

 ⁵ Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? 
      Why are you crying the blues?
   Fix my eyes on God—
      soon I'll be praising again.
   He puts a smile on my face. He's my God. 

 ^6-8 When my soul is in the dumps, I rehearse 
      everything I know of you, 
   From Jordan depths to Hermon heights, 
      including Mount Mizar. 
   Chaos calls to chaos, 
      to the tune of whitewater rapids. 
   Your breaking surf, your thundering breakers 
      crash and crush me. 
   Then God promises to love me all day, 
      sing songs all through the night! 
      My life is God's prayer. 

 ^9-10 Sometimes I ask God, my rock-solid God, 
      "Why did you let me down?
   Why am I walking around in tears,
      harassed by enemies?"
   They're out for the kill, these
      tormentors with their obscenities,
   Taunting day after day,
      "Where is this God of yours?" 

 ¹¹ Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul?
      Why are you crying the blues?
   Fix my eyes on God—
      soon I'll be praising again.    

He puts a smile on my face.
      He's my God.

As I grow older, I am gaining an intense love of scripture.  But, of all my Bibles, my favorite is The Message. Peterson has a poetic pen that helps me see the images and metaphors within scripture so that I find myself within the cold ink on the page.


What water is to the deer, God is to me.  I simply MUST have God and it must be the LIVING God.  Not a stagnant or still god...a living God.

Chaos calls to chaos...and comes crashing down around me... Life often feels like it is crashing down around me and I cry out for help.  But...the very act of my crying out is a sign there is more than what I "see". Living through the chaos has lead me to discover God's strength rather than depending up on my own.

So, on this day of fatigue, I am sharing my first crumb. And you know what! I had not even thought of this as a crumb until this morning! I have been jotting down others such as oceans/mountains, words, art/images, music...

crumbs/manna....bread from heaven

But, this morning, as I tiredly walked down the stairs the words of Psalm 42 called out to me, and as I read the passage I realized again how my physical limitations changed from being a curse to a blessing AND then I realized they were a crumb that God put along my path just as he placed manna in the desert for the ancient Israelites.

By the power of God's love, I have been and continue to be changed! Praise God!!!

Crumb....Physical Limitations.

God, I have said the car accident was a blessing in disguise, it led me to a place I don't know if I could have journeyed on my own.  I was proud of my ability to always go...go...go.  I was proud my ability to produce things that people admired and recognized as "good".  I depended upon myself, yet, I was hungry for something I could not name.  Today, from a place of woundedness and vulnerability I understand it was You, for which I was hungry...thirsty.  Like the deer...I yearn/ed for You. Thank you for the blessing of my physical limitations.  They have not only slowed me down, they have allowed me to ask for help from others...which is another conversation.  Thank you!  AMEN.


Many Blessings ~ Sandi