All is grace.

Take time to be holy. The word 'holy' does not mean 'goody-goody'; it means set apart for sacred use. That is what these quiet moments in My Presence are accomplishing within you....This process requires blocks of time set aside for communion with Me. ~ Sarah Young, Jesus Calling

A needed reminder this morning as busy days continue... Busy days that contain "good" things, yet if I don't allow Jesus to be born through me within my encounters, I fear they are only empty encounters.

In her devotion book, Fragments of Your Ancient Name, Joyce Rupp writes:

Words, words, words, and more words, 

Spoken, written, throughout history and life. 

None can compare with you, the Word, 

A message complete and all-encompassing, 

Sent forth to humanity from the Great Heart 

T speak the completeness of all words: Love. 

O Word of the Holy, your message is alive, 

Written in covenantal script never to be erased. 

May each common word coming forth from me 

Echo the magnificent love of you, the one Word.

In Chapter 5, What in the world...is grace?, Ann writes of a time when her world is turned upside down with the words,

 Levi's hand went through a fan in the barn!" (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 80)

Hard eucharisteo, times for which it is difficult, gut wrenching, to offer up gratitud.  A horrific accident, the death of a loved one, a senseless act of violence....

As she continues writing her thoughts through this experience and as she remembers other such times, the truth that what she sees, she sees through her lens of perspective.

Only the Word is the answer to rightly reading the world because The Word has nail-scarred hands that cup our face close, wipe away the tears running down, has eyes to look deep into our brimming ache, and whisper, 'I know. I know'. (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 87)

Ann comes to the realization that life is not a mix of grace moments and curse moments, but that all of life is grace - an "ugly/beautiful" paradox in which God is always present and always at world, no matter how difficult the circumstance.

Le laid peut etre beau - The ugly can be beautiful. The dark can give birth to life; suffering can deliver grace. (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 99)

Thomas Aquinas defined beauty as id quod visum placet - beauty as that which being seen, pleases. If all the work of transfiguring the ugly into the beautiful please God, it is a work of beauty. Thus, holding such a realization, Ann asks me to consider:

Is there anything in this world that is truly ugly? That is a curse? (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 99)

I've been working on my sermon for this coming Sunday, the text is Luke 2:1-20 but I've backed up a bit and have thought about the events that led up to Luke 2 and what it meant for Mary to say, "Let it be with me just as you say." (Luke 1:38)  When she agreed to this plan of God's, her life became complicated....  Big time complicated.

As I have thought of all these words and images, of Voskamp, Luke, Job... I have held the truth that suffering has nourished grace in my life and that pain and joy are arteries of the same heart - that mourning and dancing are but movements in God's symphony of beauty.

When I stay focused on The Word, I know within my heart that it is my perspective that labels something as being "good or bad".  That in this world, God is always good and that regardless of my circumstances...I am ALWAYS loved.

That means everything....EVERYTHING is eucharisteo.

I am reminded of this truth every time I come to The Table.  At The Table I am reminded... I am told TO REMEMBER... that out of pain and suffering God transformed the world.

All is grace only because God does transfigure.

O Lord, I may read and write these truths...I hold them....yet it is only by your Spirit that I can "live" this truth as I walk through this world that, when I see though "my" lens, holds so much pain. Help me today to see through your eyes, through the lens of your Word. AMEN!!


This week I am focusing on Mary and her response to take part in God's plan, but Joseph.... Joseph is often a forgotten character in this transforming event.  Michael Card offers a wonderful song...that is one of my favorite songs of Christmas.

Oh...might I be able to surrender and trust God to work through the things that seem "bad/painful/despairing..."

Many Blessings ~ Sandi

One by one...

Count your many blessings, name them one by one, And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.   ~ Johnson Oatman, Jr.

This hymn was originally published in 1897.  Ummmm, tells me this message, this journey of eucharisteo is not a new journey.

Yesterday we had a service of hymns that began with "Great is Thy Faithfulness".  Hymns of gratitude and thanksgiving followed until we transitioned from gratitude into stewardship with the old hymn, "We Give Thee But Thy Own".

Preparing this service I was surprised to discover that many of the familiar hymns of thanksgiving were written by individuals who had lived through or were experiencing great hardship.  In the darkness, thanksgiving rose up in their hearts and wonderful hymns were written that have been sung by generations.

Last week, with the Wednesday Lunch Bunch, we studied the Ten Commandments.  I asked the group what "gods" they put before God.  The responses were varied and honest.

My family.  My church.  My responsibilities with a local NPO.  ..... One woman finally said, "My time."

The title of chapter 4 in Ann's book is The Sanctuary of Time.  Ann asks:

I see my reflection, those seeking eyes. You're the one in the dire need of time, that thing we can't buy, what we sell of ourselves to get more of what we think we want, what we sacrifice to seemingly gain. They say time is money, but that's not true. Time is life. And if I want the fullest life, I need to find fullest time...the busyness of your [Ann speaking to herself] life leaving little room for the source of your life....God gives us time. And who has time for God?

There is a story of a pastor who was asked what was his most profound regret in life.  Thinking of all the cemeteries he has visited, he replied: Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing of front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I've ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing... Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away.


Yesterday the keyboard player s-l-o-w-e-d the last phrase of "Count them one by one..." each time we came to the end of the verse.  We hadn't talked about it ahead of time, as far as I know, she doesn't read my blog...but as I sang slowly that line again and again, I thought how she was tapping into my own journey of recording eucharisteo.

Name them...one by one.

In order to do that, I HAVE to pause and make time, I have to pause in the sanctuary of His time.

It is different naming God's blessings one by one, than simply lumping them into one big thank you and hurrying out the door.

I scrub the bowl hard, try to scrape away the regrets of my life lived amateur. (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 66)

Time.

Would you believe I have worked on this post for nearly 4 hours!

Time.

I have had interruption after interruption.

Life has been happening and once again, my time has been placed before time spent with God.

Sitting here I hold not only my own stories and thoughts, but the stories of those who have "interrupted".  But....as I hold their stories, am I holding God's stories?

The stories I am holding this morning all deal with individuals living with and within HARD eucharisteo moments.  Maybe, my challenge isn't so much to complete a journal posting with some profound and/or provocative thought to consider, as much as it is to prayerfully and intentionally be present with Christ as he is present within these circumstances.

The SANCTUARY of TIME.

This morning, I am desperately in need of sanctuary.

If I am to be present to God within the stories of all my interruptions, I first must simply be still and rest in His sanctuary of time....if counting my blessings one by one helps me to pause so that I am keeping the first commandment of not having any gods be God... then maybe I can better trust Him to be in all these hard eucharisteo moments others are carrying.


Counting blessings one by one....

Sanctuary of time.....

Raising words of thanksgiving and praise within hard eucharisteo moments.....within the harder stories of life....

Hymns. Praise Songs. Scripture. One Another....  Words that point to One.

There is another story/saying that the Universe is actually made up of stories rather than atoms. This morning....as I am going to pause and rest in the sanctuary of His time, I am going to consider this truth as well as some of the words that came from life stories of the men and women who penned the words of gratitude and praise that became familiar hymns of thanksgiving.

Many Blessings  ~ Sandi

Can I accept God's Grace?

Grace, it means 'favor,' from the Latin gratia. It connotes a free readiness. A free and ready favor. That's grace. It is one thing to choose to take the grace offered at the cross. ~ Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 18

I was thinking - wondering - this morning....I wondered if I struggle with gratitude because I am not sure of God's grace...for "me."

I wondered if I am more comfortable wallowing in a place of hurt and fear than I am of rising up and living as one filled with God's grace?

Yesterday I prepared the lesson for tomorrow's Lunch Bunch Bible Crash Course.  I'm beginning at the beginning...Genesis.  I wrote that all the wonders of God's creation and his creation of human kind, that within his creating of "me" he gave me free will.  Thus, it is MY choice to live with losses, and to still say "yes" to God.  It is my choice to say, "Yes" to what he freely gives.

Ummmm, does it frighten me to say "Yes" to such grace, to such love?

LOL...I just recalled Ann's image of a baby being born with tightly clenched hands....

On page 18, Ann shares thoughts of her brother-in-law, that being a farm girl myself resonate with my soul:

"Farmers, we think we control so much, do so much right to make a crop. And when you are farming you are faced with it every day. You control so little. Really. It's God who decides it all. Not us...It's all good." (AnnVoskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 18)

Sunday, my congregation celebrated 180 years of ministry.  In some ways we threw a party, but only a few came....  I swallowed hard lumps of disappointment most of the day.  And, as I swallowed that disappointment RATHER than celebrating those who were there...
1. My physical pain became nearly excruciating by evening.
2. My sadness turned into a "Was it me???"
3. My disappointment turned into fear...What have I done wrong?

Yes, I know what is beneath all this "stuff" is my EGO.

Instead of depending on God, I'm taking responsibility and making decisions for what others.

Instead of celebrating the gift of faithful people, I focused on scarcity.

I chose to head down a dark path when God was beside, beneath, within, among...and I missed his glory reflected in all that was around me.

Ann shares her brother-in-law's story of burying two babies in an eighteen month period.  Recalling the conversation, Ann recalls her own response to the tragedy:

"If it were up to me...I'd write this story differently." (Ibid)

If I had written Sunday's story, we would have had to move the chairs from the Parlor in order to have seating available for an overflow crowd. I had written Sunday's story, people would have been standing in the kitchen with full plates because the tables were full. If I had...

Ann's brother-in-law held her words and then responded, saying:

"I don't know why this has happened, but do I have to?....Just that maybe...maybe you don't want to change the story, because you don't know what a different ending holds." (Voskamp, p 21) 

Okay...how often have I said there is a reason I am not writing the story of this world and of her creation! I don't know how it all works out, I cannot see where it all leads and what it all means. 

Then Ann reminds me of the Exodus story, telling once again how the Israelites ate manna for forty long years.  Manna, which means 'What is it?'

Hungry, they chose to gather up that which was baffling. They filled on that which had no meaning. More than 14,600 days they took their daily nourishment from that which they did not understand. They found soul-filling in the inexplicable. 

"They eat the mystery.

Ann writes of buried babies and broken, weeping fathers over graves, and a world pocked with pain, and all the mysteries she has refused to let nourish her.  She asks:

"If it were my daughter, my son? Would I really choose the manna? (Voskamp, p 22)

The losses, disappointments, the fears, the sadnesses...  I "know" in my head these are opportunities for me to see God.  You know, those holes that occur within my life... Now, if I can continue striving to express and learn to live gratitude during times when life is easier....I might be better equipped to trust God and express gratitude when the holes in life appear.

As Joyce Rupp encouraged me to understand in The Cup of Life, I will live a fuller life when I allow God to empty me without my digging in my heals. Ha! An ongoing work!!

Ann concludes Chapter 1, writing:

To fully live - to live full of grace and joy and all that is beauty eternal. It is possible, wildly.I now see and testify.So this story - my story.A dare to an emptier, fuller life. (Voskamp, p 23)

As I approach one of the busiest times of the church year and family life, I so suspect I need this dare!  While I may know these truths in my head, through the power of the Holy Spirit, may I live my talk!


Just A Prayer Away....


Many Blessings ~ Sandi

Hard Gratitude

"Look at him; give him your warmest smile. Never hide your feelings from him." ~ Psalm 34:5 (MSG)

My cousin posted on Facebook that one of her choirs were singing "Follow the River." Curious, I began searching...

Follow the River Child...it will lead you home...

This morning I was led to Psalm 34 and was blessed. Of course, with Ann's book sitting on my kitchen table,  I am seeking gratitude...I am doing my best to be opened to the gifts that are given to me within moments...

The song my cousin is using in a school choir... that was a blessing this morning as I listened to the words.

Then Psalm 34 a psalm of "life"... real life was placed in my hands.

Life as described in Ann Voskamp's book.  Life as experienced by Job.  Life as I experience....

Psalm 34 is attributed to David when he outwitted Abimelech and got away.  How fitting scripture uses the name of "Abimeliech" that David outwitted. Abimelech is simply a "name" for any Philistine king.  Abimelech could also be the name of those things that pursue me.  Fear, uncertainty, anxiety, adrenaline rushes.... Like Ann, the author of Psalm 34 is not saying, "Life is always good and that I am happy at all times."  I believe the author is saying, "I CHOOSE to bless God at all times...ALL times."

Psalm 34:1-2 "I bless God every chance I get; my lungs expand with his praise. I live and breathe God: if things aren't going well, here this and be happy:"

That is the journey I am beginning...and continuing as I pick up One Thousand Gifts.  But, it is not a new journey.
This morning I thought back to Joyce Rupp's book, "The Cup of Life", the book that launched me into this blogging/journaling.

This morning I was reminded of "emptying my cup" so that it could be filled with what God wills...what God intends to be in my cup for my health and so that I might be used by him within his world.

Emptying my cup..."God met me more than halfway, he freed me from my anxious fears...When I was desperate, I called out, and God got me out of a tight spot. God's angel sets up a circle of protection around us while we pray. Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see - how good God is..." (Psalm 34:4-8 MSG)

Eugene Peterson writes of the words within Psalm 34:

"...they're the words of a person who has simply decided to speak a blessing every chance he gets, determined to be ready to give thanks in all things. The reason of coures sn't because he feels great but because he believes that God is working through all things to bring forth good."

Peterson continues:

"Do you think of the Christian life as something that lifts you out of the realm of the mundane into something more majestic? If so, you're wishing in the wrong direction. The Christian faith draws us deeper into the stuff of creation: bodies, money, emotions, relationships. Some of the stuff we see is awful. And some of the stuff we feel is painful. 

"But it is precisely there, in the awfulness and the painfulness of life, that we discover something that transcends these things." 

"If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there; if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath." Psalm 34: 18

While searching form the song Follow the River, I found another, Christmas Lullaby. The words of this song reflect on how she is like Mother Mary, bringing hope into the world.

I am also a Mary!  God calls me to empty my cup, to find him within the mess, the uncertainties, the fears.... of life...and to offer him praise!

That is hard gratitude, yet when I get this....when I live this truth...."I" fully receive God's hope and I bring hope into the world!

Peterson writes:

"The single qualification for being eligible for God's help is that we be in trouble. The reason we're in trouble doesn't matter, whether it's our own fault or someone else's. What matters is that God is right there in the midst of our troubles, stooping to pick up the pieces of our broken hearts and put them back together."

"Come children, listen closely; I'll give you a lesson in God worship." ~ Psalm 34:11

These lessons of offering gratitude within darkness, Hard Gratitude, God has given me...has put his word before me in so many ways.  He wants me to be able to bless him with my heart opened....within the darkness.  And when I do...when I am able to truly let him fill that space...I will be blessed and I will be a blessing.

Christmas Lullaby.....


May it come to pass....AMEN.

Many Blessings ~ Sandi