Blessed are the people...

Blessed are the people who know the password of praise, Who shout on parade in the bright presence of God. ~ Psalm 89:15 (MSG)

Blessed be the Lord God Almighty 


I was blessed by Psalm 89 this morning, I say "blessed" because it seemed so appropriate as I consider my new book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.

Last evening I was questioning my decision to use this book.  I LOVE this book, but I haven't been sure I want to journal online as I once again read through its pages.  I wasn't sure I wanted to be quite so "open."  I was still questioning my decision this morning. I paused as I began my devotion time, asking God to give me direction AND to help me hear his direction!

Psalm 89 is a fairly lengthy Psalm. David moves from praising God, lamenting, and then back to praise. Once again, Eugene Peterson's poetic translation offers me new images to consider.  I loved the way he began"

"Your love God, is my song and I'll sing it."

I paused with this first verse, still it was verses 15-18 that opened me, giving me the courage to begin reading One Thousand Gifts with others and to eventually begin sharing my thoughts.

"Blessed are the people who know the password of praise,Who shout on parade in the bright presence of God.Delighted they dance all day long; they know who you are, what you do - they can't keep it quiet!Your vibrant beauty has gotten inside us - You've been so good to us! We're walking on air!All we are and have we owe to God, Holy God of Israel, our King!"

On the inside of Ann's book it reads:
what it means to be...
...deeply human
...deeply spiritual
...deeply and authentically fulfilled

The publisher (Dayspring) goes on to write:
"Like most readers, Ann Voskamp hungers to live her one life well. Forget the bucket lists about once-in-a-lifetime experiences.

"How," Voskamp wondered, "do we find joy in the midst of deadlines, debt, drama, and daily duties? What does a life of gratitude look like when your days are gritty, long, and sometimes dark? What is God providing here and now?

"A beautifully practical guide to living a life of joy, One Thousand Gifts invites you to wake up to God's everyday blessings. As Voskamp discovered, in giving thanks for the life she already had, she found the life she'd always wanted.


"Following Voskamp's grace-bathed reflections on her farming, parenting, and writing life, you will embark on a transformative spiritual discipline of chronicling gifts. Along the way you will discover a way of seeing that opens your eyes to gratitude, a way of living so you are not afraid to die, and a way of becoming present to God's presence that brings deep and lasting happiness."



Before I begin, I am confessing that this is the first time I noticed the words "transformative spiritual discipline of chronicling gifts."

I had totally skimmed past, over, through....those words in past readings.  This online journal is about discovering spiritual disciplines and I blew past these words!

This online journaling is to help me learn to "pause", to "slow down" AND I still blew past these words!!!

I confess (Okay...twice in one posting I'm confessing!) that I am totally, and have been totally, covered up with work today...and will remain so in the days to come. My mind has been fragmented today as I have tried to get things done for the church's upcoming Homecoming Celebration. It has taken me longer to do simple tasks, simply because I am not sharp mentally...I'm not focused.

While I am confessing, I may as well continue, by admitting that I purchased a pretty fabric covered journal in which to "chronicle gifts."  I actually chronicled gifts for maybe 2-3 weeks, but then like many things that are healthy for me, I allowed it to become pushed to the side by the urgent stuff of life.

You know what?

Reading these words ("my" words), its no wonder God seemed to keep nudging me to use Ann's book for my online reflections.

Let's consider the upcoming three months...Wee Kirk, Homecoming, Halloween, trip to Wisconsin, Turkey Dinner at church, Thanksgiving, Hanging of the Greens, Seven Birthday Celebrations, Christmas Shopping/Wrapping/Decorating, Christmas Eve Communion, Christmas on Sunday morning, New Years on Sunday morning....... Gosh, do you think I might need help in keeping perspective on what it is I am grateful for in the midst of the upcoming demands on my time?

It is these kinds of non-stop busy times I allow my resident Demon permission to whisper doubts in my ears that I then choose to listen to and believe....and then I'm headed down that track of fear and anxiety full steam. I allow this to happen because I am not taking the time to spend moments within the presence of most important relationship of my life. I'm not taking the time to be deeply human, deeply spiritual, nor deeply and authentically fulfilled.

Lord, I just ask your blessing upon me and upon all those who decide to walk alongside me, reading One Thousand Gifts. By your Spirit, help me to remain present to you as the demands of work and family begin to mount in the days to come. I cannot do this on my own, God, I need you working within me to give me strength to pursue that which I know to be the most important.  I thank you and bless you for all you do for me! AMEN!

A song for me to cling to whenever life seems to be coming at me a bit faster than I like.  "Your love God, is my song and I'll sing it...with your help!  His Eye is on the Sparrow.

Many Blessings ~ Sandi

Encountering the Desert

"You must come [to the desert] with no intentions of discovery. You must overhear things, as though you'd come to a small and desolate town and paused by an open window....You have to proceed almost by accident." ~ Barry Lopez

A Soul Sister reminded me of this wonderful song:  Bring The Rain by Mercy Me


Besides Macrina, I've also been reading Earth's Echo (Sacred Encounters With Nature) by Robert M. Hamms.  It is a small book in which Robert takes thoughts by various nature writers as a meditation and then he, like Macrina, invites me to consider his reflection on the sacred reality of nature.  I was surprised when I first began the book and realized it was yet another lesson in using Lectio Divina.

Remember how I have journaled that God is persistent in encouraging me to learn more about this spiritual practice, Lectio Divina? Just gotta respect such an awesome and persistent God! : )

Lectio has four steps or phases I walk through and even though they may be called by different names, the intent of each is always the same.  In his book, Robert uses the words: Paying Attention, Pondering, Responding, Surrendering. I like these words. : )

I love nature, especially bodies of water, forests, and mountains, three of the five areas of nature Robert uses in his book.  The Desert is not some place I have ever spent much time, but in many ways, I think of Desert as the same as Wilderness and I suspect that is a "judgement" of sorts from ignorance. Still, it is my perception of the Desert, so with all that is going on, I decided it was the Desert I needed to visit.

The first meditation in the Desert section began with the quote by Barry Lopez I used to begin this entry.  I smiled, reading "You must come to the desert with no intention of discovery..."

I have seen pictures of deserts, and yes, they look like a vast and unknown wilderness to my inexperienced eyes; but...I bet if you placed me on the edge of a great desert and I knew I was safe from snakes and scorpions (yes, I'm a scaredy cat)...I would enter with a huge sense of curiosity of what I might discover and Lopez is telling me to come with no intention of discovery!

Wow.  That would be difficult.

Robert then "ponders" Lopez's insight:

"What attitude is necessary to learn from the desert? Lopez reminds those of us who come to the desert looking for some kind of experience that we will probably go away empty. Such a warning goes against our grain." (Hamma, p 94)

Guilty! I decided to visit the Desert in Robert's book because I knew I needed some wisdom when I am in such a place, so I opened his book this section....LOOKING.

"We come to the desert expecting to wait, but we are often unprepared for the depth of the waiting involved. When the desert does not offer up its secrets, we go away angry and tell the story of our fruitless search. Then, in the telling, we recognize something we think we may have missed - perhaps there is another way in. And so we return. But still, there is no answer. The desert chides us, 'You can't get at it this way.'"

I journaled on Thursday about being in the midst of a storm and I admitted I don't like most storms because I am often uneasy.  The same is true about storms that are not from nature.

I think it is important to know the
name of your Demon, Naming your
Demon gives you power over him!

I struggle with fear.  People who see me work, would not suspect this, even people who know me, would not see fear.  But, those who "know" me recognize when I am battling the demon of fear. They recognize it in my speech, in the way I pile work on my plate.... I suspect we all have some weakness, some demon that is always present to move our hearts when the world around us becomes crazy.  My Demon is fear and like my little friend, he isn't ugly and scary looking.  That is what makes him so dangerous.

In my fear, I opened Robert's book, I open scripture ...LOOKING for answers.  Looking for something that calms my heart. And sometimes, when I know where to look, I do find words that calm my heart.  Yet, other times, if I am depending on my SELF (that is Fear guiding me), I come into the Desert searching and looking...and come away empty.

"One must simply be there, 'with no intentions of discovery.' When we are trying to learn from the desert, there is nothing to be gained. But when we've given up the idea of getting something out of a desert sojourn, we may accidentally discover that without knowing it, we've been changed. We don't take something from it, but it changes us."

How true is this!

After my accident I worked hard physically.  At one point though, I began to question.  I remember asking, "What does He want from me!!!"

I became frustrated and angry in my searching.

Eighteen months after my car accident, I made my first trip over 15 miles.  A woman, striving to be kind expressed her sympathy that I was going through such an ordeal.  In that moment I realized I had changed through my desert experienced...without realizing!  I paused and said, "You know, I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I like the person I am becoming and I don't know if I would be in this place without having gone through this experience."

Since then, I tend to be watching for what will come from desert experiences, and I think Lopez and Robert may be right on.

Lopez concludes his reflection with these words:

"One morning I noticed my hands had begun to crack and turn to dust."

Responding follows Pondering and, as his response, Robert has written a short poem:

I sit and wait,trying not to try,wanting not to want,I have no intention of discover,I have not set my heart on gain,and yet... 

My steps are not accidental,my hands are still flesh.Do I truly want to rememberthat I am made of dust?

Surrendering Robert includes a quote by Alessaudro Panzato:

In the desert the most urgent thing is to wait.

That is ancient wisdom, (Be still......) phrased in another way.

The same Soul Sister who reminded me about Bring The Rain also reminded me of Chris Rice's song, Come to Jesus.

What a wonderful song with words that remind me that whether I'm in the Desert or battling a Storm...I, like the disciples can call out to the All Powerful and All Loving Christ!

My much loved Brother has been undergoing a series of testing to determine what might be in/on his brain.  Praise God, in the past few days doctors have ruled out cancer, meningitis, aneurysm, lupus... Doctors still do not know what it is that is showing up in the MRIs, but they do know what it is not.  For that, I am thankful!

My Daughter #3's due date for their first child has past.  The good news is that this baby finally turned this past week!  My daughter so much wanted to be able to wait until this baby was "ready" to come out verses inducing labor.  But, since baby has turned and other complications seem to have been dealt with the past few days....I will have a new grand-baby by Tuesday.

This is Life.

"Life" can control me, sending me spiraling out of control, gripping and looking for anything from a place of fear and anxiety.

Or I can "live" this life by continuing to work with Practices that help me remain still whether I am in the Desert or in the midst of a Storm. I can continue working with Practices in order to Become the Gifted and Greatly Loved Child of God I was created to be! Praise God!

Many Blessings ~ Sandi

Unspoken Truth is Spoken Everywhere

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.  ~Author unknown, variation of an excerpt from "The Serenity Prayer" by Reinhold Neibuhr

What if I had done more than go through the motions?


What if I had confronted another when I knew their path was wrong?


Oh, wait..."I" knew their path was "wrong"... 


Everything in life holds both a blessing and a curse.  When we label or judge something to be either good or bad, we deny this reality. One of my favorite Zen stories illustrates this lesson better than I could ever hope to explain:
A farmer had a horse but one day, the horse ran
away and so the farmer and his son had to plow 
their fields themselves. Their neighbors said, "Oh,
what bad luck that your horse ran away!" But the
farmer replied, "Bad luck, good luck, who knows?"


The next week, the horse returned to the farm
bringing a herd of wild horses with him. "What
wonderful luck! cried the neighbors, but the farmer
responded, "Good luck, bad luck, who knows?"


Then the farmer's son was thrown as he tried to
ride one of the wild horses, and he broke his
leg. "Ah, such bad luck," sympathized the neighbors.
Once again, the farmer responded, "Bad luck, good
luck, who knows?"


A short time later, the ruler of the country
recruited all young men to join his army for battle.
The son, with his broken leg, was left at home.
"What good luck that your son was not forced into
battle!" celebrated the neighbors. And the farmer
remarked, "Good luck, bad luck, who knows?"


"Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken."


This ZEN story came to mind this morning after opening my NIV Bible, looking for direction on how to manage mounting stories regarding someone for whom I care. I drifted through pages until Psalm 19:1-4 seemed to pull out to my fingers:

¹ The heavens declare the glory of God;
   the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
² Day after day they pour forth speech;
   night after night they reveal knowledge.
³ They have no speech, they use no words;
   no sound is heard from them.
⁴ Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,
   their words to the ends of the world. 

This morning I was wrestling with the questions of do I confront?  Do I stay quiet? And then I found Psalm 19.

Using the discipline of Lectio Divina, I began reading, and as you can see, I did not get far! "...no words." and "...no sound." then "... their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world."

It is my inner Demon who screams
at me to react and to worry.

Sitting with these words, the Zen story of judging something as being good or bad came to mind.

"But!" my mind screamed, "What is happening is wrong! It will cause so much hurt!"

My "reaction" is to confront, yet I hear another voice whispering through the clamor... "San, how do you know whether this is good or bad?"

"Of course it is bad! How could it not be bad?"


"San, how do you know?"

Yesterday I preached on Genesis 28:10-19, Jacob's Dream. One thing that struck me as I sat with this familiar story was that Jacob never got on the stairs. It was the angels going back and forth...to and fro from the earth.  God was there...overseeing everything while Jacob slept.

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.

Last evening, expressing my concern with a good friend, he challenged me with the truth from Matthew 7:1-5.  I didn't want to hear it because "I" know what is right and what is wrong!


This morning, I discover the lesson from Psalm 19 for me to consider. Eugene Peterson paraphrases Psalm 19:2 saying:

Madame Day holds classes every morning, Professor Night lectures each evening.

After a night's rest...  After sitting in the quiet of a new day... After sitting with a few words of scripture that reached out and touched my heart...  After sitting with other truths that came as I was still...  I came to realize that what I can offer is peace and I cannot offer peace into this struggle, until I know peace within myself.  As the same friend reminded me months ago when I was struggling with my dying uncle...wanting to offer him peace...

  "San, you cannot offer something you don't have."

I am much healthier emotionally and spiritually than I was a few years ago, yet, I still at times "jump", wanting to fix something or someone, when the only person I can "fix" is myself.

Sitting here this morning with these verses of scripture from Psalm 19, I realize the best gifts I can offer this situation are:
1. Resist labeling it as being either good or bad.
2. Focus on the "log in my eye"...focus on myself, the only person I have the power to change.
3. Remember Jacob, sleeping as God and his angels worked within and among the happenings on this earth.
4. With these thoughts, trust God to be within and among those I love and in trusting Him...to know peace within myself and to offer that peace to the world.

Let There Be Peace on  Earth - the Indianapolis Children's Choir

Lord, I do want to do more than just going through the motions of acting like a Child of God! Spirit, help me to trust you and in that place of trust, trusting you to be at work within the lives and relationships of those I love! Lord, again, help me to move from going through the motions to taking each moment, to living each moment in peace and then, Lord, by your grace and power, may I offer that peace to the world...AMEN.

Many Blessings ~ Sandi

Pause - Pray - Gratitude

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. ~ Garrison Keillor

My four grandkids that always bring a grateful smile to my heart.

I have continued to think about "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" as I have celebrated the Fourth of July with my family and friends this past weekend and the more I have reflected on the notion of "pursuit" the more hopeless it sounds!


I have talked before about my favorite devotional book, Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young.  Yesterday I smiled even bigger as I read the devotion for July 4.

"When you worship Me in spirit and truth, you join with choirs of angels who are continually before My throne. Though you cannot hear their voices, your praise and thanksgiving are distinctly audible in heaven. Your petitions are also heard, but it is your gratitude that clears the way to My Heart. With the way between us wide open, My blessings fall upon you in rich abundance. Practice praising and thanking Me continually throughout this day."The greatest blessing is nearness to Me - abundant Joy and Peace in My Presence. 

How cool is that! "...your gratitude clears the way to My Heart..."

Who said an old dog can't learn new things?

Something else that occurred to me this weekend, I THINK it would be impossible to feel both the positive emotion of gratitude AND at the same time feel a negative emotion like fear or anger.  I don't have scientific research, so I can't state this as fact.  It is something I hope to pay attention to. If this is true, that I can't hold both fear and gratitude, then gratitude births other positive feelings like joy, love, hope, compassion...and happiness!

Which would then have happiness pursuing me!

All of this brings me around to the news tonight regarding the Casey Anthony trial.  My first reaction was outrage, but then I stopped...I paused...

I don't know what the jurors heard to have come back with four not-guilty verdicts, yet, I am not Casey Anthony's judge. I decided I can be grateful that we have a system in this country that is supposed to be just.  Is it perfect? Absolutely not, yet I am blessed to live in a country with such a system. 


I realized I can choose to become knotted up with anger, like I have heard some doing, or I can choose to believe that God will work this out! I can learn from this case, and when/if I am called upon to serve on a jury again, I will do my best to be totally present and to listen with an open heart.

Before coming to these decisions, I turned to scripture, to see if I could discover something that would help me with the anger I had when the news came across the radio.  The danger with looking for verses is that one can find a verse to justify nearly anything one might want to justify! I know this all to well. As I opened my Bible, I asked for Spirit's guidance as I began reading.  I discovered two verses from James 1:11-12:

¹¹ Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. ¹² There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?

~~sigh~~ Sometimes this path toward spiritual and emotional maturity is difficult. I am beginning to appreciate that when I pause and turn to prayer, the emotions of my inner Demon, that want to rise up in me, are quieted.  Ummm!! That brings me back to the question "Can I hold both gratitude and fear/anger at the same time?"

Lord, it is so easy to "react", but I have learned the hard way when I react, it is often from my gut rather than my head or heart. Thank you for helping me to pause today. God, help me to pause in the future so that I might respond as you would have me respond rather than reacting with the emotions of my inner demon. When I listen to your voice...your voice of truth...I can respond from a place of less anger and fear.  Praise God!

Casting Crowns...The Voice of Truth 


One more picture of the four little people who bring such joy to my heart!






Many Blessings ~ A Grateful "Giz"

Farming - Flooding - Illusion of Control - Everything is Holy Now

Picture of one of the many creeks and rivers in the area.

Yesterday the community where my congregation is located received 3-5 inches of rain.  I spoke with the secretary after lunch and learned she had canceled plans to meet with friends because of flooding across many of the roads.  She also shared that she had seen fields, belonging to members in the congregation, under water.

I watched the news, trying to learn more about the area, only to learn that the National Weather Service in Indianapolis had declared a flash flood warning until 3:00 p.m. for several counties in Central Indiana.

If you hold on to the handle, she said, its easier to
maintain the illusion of control. But its more fun if
you just let the wind carry you. 

Sounds like so many of the other stories that have filled the news this spring.  We were lucky here, we didn't receive nearly as much rain.  I walked along my yard, looking out in all directions. I wondered what we are suppose to do?  Farmers are totally dependent upon the laws of nature. Our livelihood, in so many ways is out of our control.

"Hummm, isn't that what all of life is basically about, San? Perhaps, as an agribusiness person AND as a pastor, you can appreciate that more than others?"

I found this print by Story People about that thing called Illusion of Control. They say it is "more fun"...I'm not there yet in all aspects of my life.  Farming is one, yet...farming is anything but control!

Thing is, God isn't asking for me to "let go" in just certain areas of my life, to trust him with "this"...but not "that".

Peter Mayer

Peter Mayer a folk singer from Minnesota often speaks to my heart when I'm carrying questions in my heart and mind.

Everything is Holy Now


Lord, help me to see the holy when my heart is fearful and anxious. Help me to remember when my heart is fearful and anxious...that's my Demon speaking and I am CHOOSING to listen to him rather than You! Oh...I'm so glad you are patient with me, God! AMEN.





Many Blessings ~ Sandi