Sandi, this book looks difficult...

C.S.Lewis 1898-1963

“Don't think of God in terms of forms, because forms are limited and God is unlimited.” ~ C.S.Lewis

More than one person has told me the upcoming book by Macrina Wiederkehr looks like it might be a bit difficult.  I journaled yesterday morning that it was grace that I began with Joyce's book!

Part of the 130,000 acres of the flooded farmland in Missouri.

Going to Payton's soccer game last evening, I overheard conversations in the parking lot as I came and went.  Osama bin Laden's death and the flooding of 130,000 acres of farmland in Missouri seemed to be the most popular topics, along with questions regarding the soggy fields here in Indiana. I heard a lot of worry, anxiety, and anger being expressed.

"Fill with good news of
God at work in the world."

    Last fall I purchased very attractive notebooks for a group of women from my congregation.  I told them I wanted them to fill the notebook with good news; news where they saw God at work during the next month. The news could come from any source,  newspapers, Internet, Facebook, TV, or radio. At the end of the month, we would meet and share what we had discovered and learned.

We are daily bombarded
 by negative news.

I do not get the Indianapolis Star, but I did begin purchasing one so I could look for local news as well as news within the USA Today. While it was possible to find "good news" stories in the USA Today, I would search for days to find one positive blurb in the Star.  But, since I was the one who gave the assignment, I doggedly attacked the challenge!  When we met a month later I discovered the others had also become discouraged and their notebooks, like my own, were not filled as I had expected them to be.  One woman had even quit because she could not find any positive news! She had begun feeling more discouraged by life in general by looking for something positive.

Three fingers pointed back at me,
"What was my responsibility in this?"

It was not the learning and discovery I had planned to share.  I had expected that we would gather and gain a sense of joy and feeling affirmed by our convictions as Christian women as we shared with one another evidence of God's work.  Instead, we were sad and a bit angry.  We ended up blaming the news casters and reporters for feeding us negative "stuff."  There is an old saying about when you point a finger at someone, there are three others pointing back to you? I began to wonder what my responsibility was in this newly discovered reality.

There are other sayings that are similar to "If you want to see something change, then begin with yourself!" A lot has happened to me and to this world since last fall when I was hit by the reality of negative news and knowing that I have to accept some responsibility.  I am a firm believer that if one person makes a positive change, then that change will affect another,  which then that change will...   I did not take steps immediately, because I did not know what to do.  However, I kept journaling about the question and I continued to pray.  I will admit that I often felt my prayers were being ignored, something I hope to come back to as I journal through Macrina's book.  Still, it was through this process that I got the idea to do a blog...

"WHY?" was a common response.

I continued to think about it but it felt like I needed to learn to speak Chinese! I asked a young woman from my congregation if she would teach me about blogging.  She agreed to help, but told me it was not that difficult.  I didn't believe her and made arrangements to meet in a couple of days. But...then I got curious and lo and behold...I got the beginnings of the thing going!  Over and again, I have journaled how I have grown in my faith and my convictions as I have worked through Joyce's book...I have also gained a measure of self confidence as I worked on the blog!

Our tractors and planters - sit - because fields are too wet
to plant. Seed that should be sprouting remains in containers 

Here's the thing, life is difficult.  Just like almost everyone I know, my everyday -  normal - ordinary life is some times difficult.  Some of the difficulties have come from choices I have made while other difficulties come at me in the form of weather, sickness, terrorism... things I have little control over except for the way I respond. I will admit, there have been times I have felt angry as newscasters have belittled the concerns of Missouri farmers whose land has been intentionally flooded. I have felt a growing concern as I watch the days continue to pass for our own farming operation. It is during times such as this, I am doing my best to keep the words of scripture close to my heart.

"31 So do not worry, saying ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:31-34

26 He replied,” You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the  winds and the waves, and it was completely calm. Matthew 8:26

"Cast your anxiety upon him, because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

It isn't wearing "rose-colored" glasses,
it is recognizing that I am not in control.

I cannot change the weather.  I cannot change what has happened in Missouri.  I cannot change the fact that bin Laden masterminded the killing of thousands of people and that he is now dead.  I cannot change the fact that people I care for are growing older and have concerns which seem to have few good answers. ....

When I first began journaling with Joyce's book I spoke of having to acknowledge that I am helpless and it is from this place of helplessness, that God is able to work within me. God is able to work within me so that I can truly begin to see him working through all of life; life that I perceive as "good" and as "bad".  That is one reason I have posted a Google News link on my blog.  Right above the link it says, "Seeking to See God in The World".  This is my reminder to look for God in the headlines.

New life doesn't just appear..
it takes time and effort.

I agree that Macrina's book may be a bit of a challenge, yet any new growth does not just magically happen with the snap of my fingers.  It takes effort to crack the hard shell of old learning, habits, and fear. It takes effort to begin to stretch in ways that are unfamiliar in order to keep pushing up through the darkness. It takes effort to break through the final crust in order to feel the warm light on my face, that wonderful ah-ha moment.  It takes effort to reach down as deep as I can reach in order to seek not only the needed nutrients to grow but to also gain stability so that I might stand firm against the storms that will surely come. Only after all the stretching and pushing...will I become more aware of the love that surrounds me. Hummmm. I think I might get one of those grains of corn or beans in our barn, waiting to be sowed, and place it on my desk as an image for myself as I begin journaling with this book.

...but he couldn't blow the little house in.

I am reminded of that old Sunday School lesson of the Wise Man and the Foolish Man.  Or...I could keep it really simple and consider the lessons from the fairy tale of the Three Little Pigs!

Life can be difficult and it does seem that we hear more negative news than news that lifts us up.  Still, even in the negative news, I believe God is....  But, before I can see him there, I need to open the eyes of my heart in order to see him in the ordinary days of "me", just one ordinary person.  Or, as Macrina says, "Seeing the Holy in the Ordinary."

This book is a new adventure with all kind of thoughts and ideas waiting to be seen and discovered! AND I know I am not on this journey alone.  That knowledge helps a lot! I have others who I see week to week who are walking a long side me.  And then there a blessing, think back to everything I have learned about "blessings" from Joyce. This blessing can be found in many forms. My favorite, the one I keep in my heart, is the one used by a great friend and pastor at the end of each worship service:

May the love of Christ go with you.
May He go before you to show you the way.
Behind you to encourage you.
Beside you to befriend you.
Above you to watch over you.
Below you to lift you up and
within you to give you to give you peace.

A new song by Kristian Stanfill - Always.  It is so new...there aren't many videos to choose from...still it has great words! Always...

Lord, sometimes digging into your Word, working to put my roots deep into your truths in order to grow strong, able to resist the strong winds of life, .... Lord, sometimes it is HARD! Please send your Spirit to rest upon me.  Help me to remember to first ask your Spirit to help me! Yes, God, it sometimes does seem difficult to grow in your ways, yet, I know by seeking to know you in my ordinary days, that I will live from a place of joy, of peace, and of love. AMEN.


Many Blessings ~ Sandi

Day 3 - The Vessel of Loving Energy

Lord, my spirit is troubled as I watch and listen to reports from Japan, Hawaii, and the West Coast of the U.S. Lord, I ask for your Presence to be among those who are injured or may be dying as I write. I ask for your Spirit of power and wisdom to fill the hearts and minds of our world's leaders as they decide how to respond.  Lord, I ask for the love of Christ to be within the hearts and the hands of those working to rescue all the victims from this morning, and the victims that are yet to be from this massive quake. Amen.

"The same streams of life that run through my veins, night and day, runs through the world and dances in rhythmic measures." ~ Rabindranath Tagore

What resonated with you as you read Joyce's confession that, in the past, she has been "intent on doing well" whenever she has begun programs of spiritual growth?

"I would work very hard at it, often feeling concerned or anxious becasue I wanted to do it 'right' and make a lot of progress. I felt like it all depended upon me as to wherther or not I would grow. I did not yet realize that I needed the vibrant stream of divine life moving through me in order to be transformed." (J.Rupp, Cup of Life, p 30)

I was reminded of new insights from reading "Recovery, The Twelve Steps as Spiritual Practice" by Rami Shapiro.  In this book the reader begins with Step 1 "The Gift of Powerlessness".  In our scripture we are told, "lest any should boast..."

Friends, we are powerless to become spiritual fit. The only thing we actually can control is our response to God's calling.

How do we do that?

By simply becoming available to be filled by the Holy Spirit.  As Joyce says,

"...I cannot force growth to happen. This is God's realm of doing. I can yearn for transformation. I can be faithful to daily meditation. But as long as I am trying to go it alone, I will simply stumble along fruitlessly." (Ibid)

Today, Joyce asks that we remember that it is God who gives us the power to act and the power to change. This transformation is not a result of how the strength of "our" will.  She reminds us that we can stop worrying about whether or not we are making progress.

Breathprayer: Breathing in: Your power...
                        Breathing out:...moving through me.
Reflection:
But we have this treasure in clay jars, so that it may be made clear that this extraordinary power belongs to God and does not come from us. (2 Cor. 4:7)

Journaling:
How have I known God's power working in me and through me?
What are some obstacles blocking the flow of loving energy?
What part of my life most needs the powerful touch of God? 

Most recently I knew God's power working in and through me as I sat with my uncle during the last four weeks of his earthly life. I can remember...it was Super Bowl night...I was using all my strength to control him, to keep him in bed.  Frantically, holding my uncle down with one hand, I called a friend with the other.  Lee asked me what I wanted for my uncle and I replied, "Peace."  "Well, my friend," he said, "you can't give him something you don't have."

He was right.  I was an emotional wreck. I asked an aide to stay with him, for just five minutes and during that time I went and stood at the window from the 2nd floor lobby.  I noticed the lights from the parking lot bouncing off the ice and snow.  I gazed into the black sky. I took some deep breaths and envisioned God's Spirit coursing through my body.

I returned to my uncle's side.  It was a long night of battling with him, but I was at peace.  "I" was not able to manage my uncle that night.

Amy Alexander - It will be okay

Still, even having those kind of experiences, I manage to create obstacles.  I take on to much work.  I try to keep EVERYONE happy. I worry about my future.  I worry about my daughters and their over busy lives and decisions they are needing to make. In the past, I would have been standing, helpless in front of the TV with disasters such as today's earthquake and tsunami.

How about you, how have you known God's power working in or through you? Do any of you struggle with the reality of our powerlessness?

What kind of obstacles do you erect that prevent the natural flow of God Light Energy through your self?

I'm still reflecting on the third question.  But, that does  not mean any of you cannot respond. What would you identify as a part of your life that most needs the powerful touch of God?

Joyce closes Day 3 with this prayer:

"Energizing and transforming God, the pulse of your presence fills my life with love. Remind me often that I cannot grow by my own efforts alone. Thank you for the comfort and the freedom of knowing that it is your power working through me that creates growth in my spiritual life. Amen. (Ibid)

Today...as you use ANY vessel, a cup, a glass, a measuring cup, a measuring spoon, a can of soda, or a bottle of water...As you use any vessel today, may that vessel remind you that you and I are a vessel of God's tremendous loving energy.

Many Blessings ~ Sandi