tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88662513335758730592024-03-14T06:25:35.715-04:00Laughing - Listening - LearningSandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.comBlogger232125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-82717495849053401412011-12-17T06:59:00.002-05:002011-12-17T06:59:21.307-05:00God With Us<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>God is in the slums, in the cardboard boxes where the poor
play house. God is in the silence of a mother who has infected her child with a
virus that will end both their lives. God is in the cries heard under the
rubble of war. God is in the debris of wasted opportunity and lives, and God is
with us if we are with them. </i>~<a href="http://www.rustyparts.com/wp/2006/12/03/immanuel-god-with-us-a-sermon-for-the-1st-sunday-of-advent/"> Isaac</a>, a Mennonite Pastor</div>
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You will have to excuse me if I have posted this song, <i>God With Us</i>, by <a href="http://toddagnew.com/">Todd Agnew</a> before. It is one of my favorites, so I watch for videos that use its lyrics. Plus, many artists have used scenes from <i><a href="http://www.cbn.com/special/thenativitymovie/">The Nativity </a></i>so I get confused on what I have shared where. : )<br />
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God with us, Immanuel.<br />
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During recent weeks I have journaled my thoughts, my questions, my insights around this truth of Christmas. God came to reside WITH us. Immanuel. Still, it is difficult to discover God within the pain, the despair, the suffering of life. Of both my life, lives within the communities nearby, and lives of those I only see from a distance on TV.<br />
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A wordle expresses this Biblical truth, God With Us.<br />
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So, as a pastor, as a seeker....I hold both. The despair and the pain along with the truth as found in scripture, Immanuel, God with us.<br />
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In his Advent sermon, Pastor Isaac uses two edgy quotes of a monk by the name of <a href="http://catholicbooksreview.org/2008/moore.htm">Sebastian Moore </a>that give me thoughts to consider as I struggle with the tension of what I see and the truth I read.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDuXTK3YYTLBbiabHYJS-nkx5JmguOCqZTsVs8sS1qcYyJDqXaO2TsGaZt84uHacwqgyFvyoUHXFLb0-IIZDwlo7wM2qmDaXLYkbYjn0roO4iUY_f85ZpBJoavuiMqLyJUPrno2kuPKak/s1600/2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDuXTK3YYTLBbiabHYJS-nkx5JmguOCqZTsVs8sS1qcYyJDqXaO2TsGaZt84uHacwqgyFvyoUHXFLb0-IIZDwlo7wM2qmDaXLYkbYjn0roO4iUY_f85ZpBJoavuiMqLyJUPrno2kuPKak/s320/2.jpeg" width="320" /></a><i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-large;">Christ is present to us insofar as we are present to one another. It’s
a call to receive God’s love from one another, and to be present, to make
Christ’s love available—<u>to wait, and watch, and hope that Christ will come in
and through us.</u></span></i></blockquote>
The second challenge of Moore's:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZAjytQ6DkbhlpDgQ5BeF022No8eZtqWMV4_c9sbnPzxBOfsBHEmLNeu9zJBozaoWwNsEck4brntjVtkvUf5lFXXMPtST3YVW0Zsog3P6wA_NCwjyyrzp3SwJzn_dTLkIdqopFFRnbnc0/s1600/4.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZAjytQ6DkbhlpDgQ5BeF022No8eZtqWMV4_c9sbnPzxBOfsBHEmLNeu9zJBozaoWwNsEck4brntjVtkvUf5lFXXMPtST3YVW0Zsog3P6wA_NCwjyyrzp3SwJzn_dTLkIdqopFFRnbnc0/s1600/4.jpeg" /></a><i><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-large;">...look forward to the point when the whole mystery of God will be known in
the clasp of your brother [or sister’s] hand. But when we feel those hands, as
we pass the peace, we must also remember that the One we worship has holes in
his hands. Yes, Christ has come to us, but he is also standing with holes in
his hands, awaiting our discovery.</span></i></blockquote>
(sigh...) Discovering Immanuel, God with Me, in the messiness, the pain, the discomfort of life.<br />
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I am certain I have journaled (verses just "thinking" it) that I believe we, the Church, tend to sugar coat, to romanticize, the Christmas story. My prayer has been that during this season of waiting, Advent, I might look deeper into this familiar story with all its familiar characters and discover Immanuel in a new way.<br />
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Many Blessings ~ <span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Sandi</i></span> </div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-66878334074039917552011-12-16T09:23:00.000-05:002011-12-16T09:34:58.107-05:00Unexpected Gifts<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>Christmas presents. Gifts bestowed and received. Maybe a surprise or two. You, the Gift surpassing all other gifts, bring us more than we might expect. Presents that did not make our list, something to wear on the inside of us such as truth, generosity, patience, reconciliation, and respect for one another. Each Christmas, another gift of growth. What will you gift us with this year? </i>~ Joyce Rupp, <i>Fragments of Your Ancient Name</i><br />
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Such a strange way to save the world... <br />
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Gifts bestowed and received...Presents that did not make our list, something to wear on the "inside" of us...<br />
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Chapter 6, <i>What Do You Want?,</i> begins with an unexpected gift in the midst of a tiring ordinary day and, even though Ann has spent much time recording gifts, she needed a loving presence to redirect her gaze from the ordinariness to help her see the extravagant gift a mere two steps away.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHXYFQHfhbK_MSGD5ppeG8SAI8OMePUzt7lxLbKXvtgAPsuwlwvHb7OYJqq269aM3WAQpRkVLpsL0hOZRhCpP5rDqCWtWySYkT407ZpmjOBQsdYhEkzjMZ8yR6j4z05khuS9DF2IYwlY4/s1600/1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHXYFQHfhbK_MSGD5ppeG8SAI8OMePUzt7lxLbKXvtgAPsuwlwvHb7OYJqq269aM3WAQpRkVLpsL0hOZRhCpP5rDqCWtWySYkT407ZpmjOBQsdYhEkzjMZ8yR6j4z05khuS9DF2IYwlY4/s320/1.jpeg" width="320" /></a><i style="color: #bf9000; font-weight: bold;">His whisper brushes the curl of my ear, "When I saw it, I knew you'd want it too."...he who made vows to a woman and chaser. No - he didn't actually make vows to that woman. But this is the woman I am becoming. That eucharisteo is making me - fulfilling thanks vows to God. I am starved and the feast makes me wild. Because really, who gets to touch the moon? Tonight, she's close. I might. </i><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 104)</span></blockquote>
Racing across the field, camera in hand, Ann runs, laughing...drinking in all that is and she celebrates the realization that she IS STILL a child.<br />
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<span style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>Who am I to see glory with unveiled face? Is that what the child seeks? Is that why I escape motherhood at the dinner hour, because I can't see the glory there, here, right in the moment? Still? And me slowing for the hunt, looking for even one thousand gifts, sanctuaries in moments, seeking the fullest life that births out of the darkest emptiness, all the miracle of eucharisteo. </i></b></span><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 105)</span></blockquote>
I am wondering who helps me to notice graces and gifts I might otherwise miss. <br />
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As I wonder I believe that it may be the Grands, who step into life ready to discover and ready to be surprised.<br />
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A small child. One of the most vulnerable and even insignificant members of our society, it is they who help me to notice.<br />
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How I wish we could not push that sense of wonder, of vulnerability from a child's heart by burdening him with the world's stuff. Yet, there is hope for me, for all children, that we can grow up, regardless of how old and wise we might be, we can grow up and regain a sense of that wonder....within the smallest and most ordinary moments.<br />
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Ann too thinks how after all she has learned, how she is still learning...still growing...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4swZ0KiXect3C3zkD9P64yn6K-jnmQB4XMzUZotxWBbS-pVIZvZq-_WtXENzG2-ruWTHJcNDhrT7Tt3lXPxAlIzH10bE74CD4Y_6bwy_-lm-xK6QvfMiV-eqZXaPSJ9ZknEy38_M-4PU/s1600/1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4swZ0KiXect3C3zkD9P64yn6K-jnmQB4XMzUZotxWBbS-pVIZvZq-_WtXENzG2-ruWTHJcNDhrT7Tt3lXPxAlIzH10bE74CD4Y_6bwy_-lm-xK6QvfMiV-eqZXaPSJ9ZknEy38_M-4PU/s320/1.jpeg" width="212" /></a><span style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>Yes - maybe that woman-child. The one who lives her life in circles, discovering entering into, forgetting and losing, findin her way round again, living her life in layers - deeper, round further in. I know eucharisteo and the miracle. <u>But I am not a woman who ever lives the full knowing. I am a wondering Israelite who sees the flame in the sky above, the pillar, the smoke from the mountain, the earth open up and give way, and still I forget. </u></i></b></span><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 106)</span></blockquote>
Oh, does this confession easy my own seeking/forgetting heart! For I too know, and yet still I forget!!!<br />
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Once again a reminder that I can discover myself within the ancient stories of these living scriptures.<br />
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<span style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>I empty of truth and need the refilling. I need come again every day - bend, clutch, and remember - for who can gather the manna but once, hoarding, and store away sustenance in the mind for all the living?</i></b></span><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 106)</span></blockquote>
If I am like the ancient Israelites wandering.<br />
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If I depend upon others to help me to discover and feast upon the manna given.<br />
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Who do I walk beside?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9gnE_JXot29-FnJYKwyzgei0loYhic13J2uB3okxg6vSV4CMFCCUmLQWy-AWeL3bgGx4QaKLTXQ8s4jtYwMnpTY8n4OGlVrjgSQxhNn4UNehJ3-UT7CMjw2XILBRBV6C_RL1cGlmzNK4/s1600/1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="234" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9gnE_JXot29-FnJYKwyzgei0loYhic13J2uB3okxg6vSV4CMFCCUmLQWy-AWeL3bgGx4QaKLTXQ8s4jtYwMnpTY8n4OGlVrjgSQxhNn4UNehJ3-UT7CMjw2XILBRBV6C_RL1cGlmzNK4/s320/1.jpeg" width="320" /></a>How do I help them to discover and to feast?<br />
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For I am not called to journal my gifts and hoard them, I am called to celebrate my discoveries with others so that together we might feast. That is why God came to live among us - Emmanuel.<br />
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Jesus came for me.<br />
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Still, he is not my gift to hoard. I am called to announce his coming....the gift of his presence.<br />
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<i>Lord, help me to discover those unexpected gifts, those gifts that have not made my list, those gifts that are like manna, gifts that are "you" within my day and then help me to share the gift of your presence among, within, and between all that is within this life. By your Spirit, help me to grow back to being like a child. AMEN.</i><br />
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Many Blessings ~ <span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Sandi</i></span><br />
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<br /></div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-51786509942121364172011-12-13T07:44:00.000-05:002011-12-13T09:52:59.123-05:00All is grace.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>Take time to be holy. The word 'holy' does not mean 'goody-goody'; it means set apart for sacred use. That is what these quiet moments in My Presence are accomplishing within you....This process requires blocks of time set aside for communion with Me. </i>~ Sarah Young, <i>Jesus Calling</i><br />
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A needed reminder this morning as busy days continue... Busy days that contain "good" things, yet if I don't allow Jesus to be born through me within my encounters, I fear they are only empty encounters.<br />
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In her devotion book, <i>Fragments of Your Ancient Name</i>, Joyce Rupp writes:<br />
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<i>Words, words, words, and more words,</i> </blockquote>
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<i></i><i>Spoken, written, throughout history and life.</i> </blockquote>
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<i></i><i>None can compare with you, the Word,</i> </blockquote>
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<i></i><i>A message complete and all-encompassing,</i> </blockquote>
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<i></i><i>Sent forth to humanity from the Great Heart</i> </blockquote>
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<i></i><i>T speak the completeness of all words: Love.</i> </blockquote>
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<i></i><i>O Word of the Holy, your message is alive,</i> </blockquote>
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<i></i><i>Written in covenantal script never to be erased.</i> </blockquote>
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<i></i><i>May each common word coming forth from me</i> </blockquote>
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<i></i><i>Echo the magnificent love of you, the one Word.</i></blockquote>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV1z-n5wr5awO9udpQW9ybpr0peRWu1HCFFgC4f58qU48oFhJ5gqCaYS7LH3heyPBSOb1adf7t8ipzdb-yJr2NmmVLsansZ3MssdsEDvqq_m2SQcx7UICtDLfrhyZLo32UhRLj9wZlZgY/s1600/1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="251" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV1z-n5wr5awO9udpQW9ybpr0peRWu1HCFFgC4f58qU48oFhJ5gqCaYS7LH3heyPBSOb1adf7t8ipzdb-yJr2NmmVLsansZ3MssdsEDvqq_m2SQcx7UICtDLfrhyZLo32UhRLj9wZlZgY/s320/1.jpeg" width="320" /></a>In Chapter 5, What in the world...is grace?, Ann writes of a time when her world is turned upside down with the words,<br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><i>Levi's hand went through a fan in the barn!"</i></span> </b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 80)</span></blockquote>
Hard eucharisteo, times for which it is difficult, gut wrenching, to offer up gratitud. A horrific accident, the death of a loved one, a senseless act of violence....<br />
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As she continues writing her thoughts through this experience and as she remembers other such times, the truth that what she sees, she sees through her lens of perspective.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEaDbtR7KhUpCZseFP6TMi1Jx_M1Zm5FcMvEujRo6L936_wqDXpIenpATaxpjAg3mgAIjl9F-FbV3zalQNlxbaGMIyMEqS7jYJ2d6LruZBbgsxqy7J4IqqeIoLxAey-7KdHFvmhiTcoPs/s1600/1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEaDbtR7KhUpCZseFP6TMi1Jx_M1Zm5FcMvEujRo6L936_wqDXpIenpATaxpjAg3mgAIjl9F-FbV3zalQNlxbaGMIyMEqS7jYJ2d6LruZBbgsxqy7J4IqqeIoLxAey-7KdHFvmhiTcoPs/s1600/1.jpeg" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>Only the Word is the answer to rightly reading the world because The Word has nail-scarred hands that cup our face close, wipe away the tears running down, has eyes to look deep into our brimming ache, and whisper, 'I know. I know'. </i></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 87)</span></blockquote>
Ann comes to the realization that life is not a mix of grace moments and curse moments, but that all of life is grace - an "ugly/beautiful" paradox in which God is always present and always at world, no matter how difficult the circumstance.<br />
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<i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;">Le laid peut etre beau - The ugly can be beautiful. The dark can give birth to life; suffering can deliver grace. </span></b></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 99)</span></blockquote>
Thomas Aquinas defined beauty as <i>id quod visum placet</i> - beauty as that which being seen, pleases. If all the work of transfiguring the ugly into the beautiful please God, it is a work of beauty. Thus, holding such a realization, Ann asks me to consider:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>Is there anything in this world that is truly ugly? That is a curse? </i></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 99)</span></blockquote>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibBi1Lp9oVBPMyZktp4yndv_AjqNBJ_i71pTNhzYfJLvkFUKwaIShP5ImXWTfOe-BB3An3t3bVtvrpDUy_twCpHMPrpnFm7uu1Aqxr_o11mzN03jQlKRhGE0JJPac-INv0xkP1Q8BTV2o/s1600/1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibBi1Lp9oVBPMyZktp4yndv_AjqNBJ_i71pTNhzYfJLvkFUKwaIShP5ImXWTfOe-BB3An3t3bVtvrpDUy_twCpHMPrpnFm7uu1Aqxr_o11mzN03jQlKRhGE0JJPac-INv0xkP1Q8BTV2o/s320/1.jpeg" width="320" /></a>I've been working on my sermon for this coming Sunday, the text is <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%202:1-20&version=MSG">Luke 2:1-20</a> but I've backed up a bit and have thought about the events that led up to Luke 2 and what it meant for Mary to say, "<i>Let it be with me just as you say</i>." (<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%201&version=MSG">Luke 1:38</a>) When she agreed to this plan of God's, her life became complicated.... Big time complicated.<br />
<br />
As I have thought of all these words and images, of Voskamp, Luke, Job... I have held the truth that suffering has nourished grace in my life and that pain and joy are arteries of the same heart - that mourning and dancing are but movements in God's symphony of beauty.<br />
<br />
When I stay focused on The Word, I know within my heart that it is my perspective that labels something as being "good or bad". That in this world, God is always good and that regardless of my circumstances...I am ALWAYS loved.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJfyUmD2t7FLxzxg8OMd4QCuL_TYhXLy9hSU6kJEtBhe97nifEi5A-Kx2lov9Tb0XVQN6ITAN4ChZ9uQKnz8CNDnf45P6GTHPfsV8qBUDGshhjotJ5R08LfXBpCMOGytebx5uLt75IRB8/s1600/1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="209" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJfyUmD2t7FLxzxg8OMd4QCuL_TYhXLy9hSU6kJEtBhe97nifEi5A-Kx2lov9Tb0XVQN6ITAN4ChZ9uQKnz8CNDnf45P6GTHPfsV8qBUDGshhjotJ5R08LfXBpCMOGytebx5uLt75IRB8/s320/1.jpeg" width="320" /></a>That means everything....EVERYTHING is eucharisteo.<br />
<br />
I am reminded of this truth every time I come to The Table. At The Table I am reminded... I am told TO REMEMBER... that out of pain and suffering God transformed the world.<br />
<br />
All is grace only because God does transfigure.<br />
<br />
<i>O Lord, I may read and write these truths...I hold them....yet it is only by your Spirit that I can "live" this truth as I walk through this world that, when I see though "my" lens, holds so much pain. Help me today to see through your eyes, through the lens of your Word. AMEN!!</i><br />
<i><br /></i><br />
This week I am focusing on Mary and her response to take part in God's plan, but Joseph.... Joseph is often a forgotten character in this transforming event. Michael Card offers a wonderful song...that is one of my favorite songs of Christmas.<br />
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Oh...might I be able to surrender and trust God to work through the things that seem "bad/painful/despairing..."<br />
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Many Blessings ~ <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Sandi</i></span></div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-48454070699199691362011-12-12T10:29:00.001-05:002011-12-12T10:29:38.152-05:00Breath of Heaven<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
My computer got left at the church office yesterday. I had planned to return to the church, but after my last call of the afternoon....I simply forgot and headed home.<br />
<br />
When I got home I discovered my PC isn't able to connect to the Internet.... Sunday was one long and interesting day. : )<br />
<br />
I'm at the office this morning, with a lot of work waiting, several worship services coming up, a good possibility of two funerals in the near future, and a surgery this afternoon. ....plus all the stuff coming up with/for my family.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvP2HYtkRDLn61wTl9HRUGzbgGo5kaYSdX07b-flJZv8hvtN5G_tTbGDBeIZtrBHZ5XXsHze_YKB-uXEZWtQwF9WKRz8afaEonIpTkTb8emvmGc7g_ut8KDgG0UeK6g5HpZAKNld3hlRQ/s1600/a.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvP2HYtkRDLn61wTl9HRUGzbgGo5kaYSdX07b-flJZv8hvtN5G_tTbGDBeIZtrBHZ5XXsHze_YKB-uXEZWtQwF9WKRz8afaEonIpTkTb8emvmGc7g_ut8KDgG0UeK6g5HpZAKNld3hlRQ/s320/a.jpeg" width="282" /></a>As I drove to the church this morning, thinking about all that is coming up, this song came to mind. It became a prayer as I held each phrase. <br />
<br />
I am waiting in a silent prayer. <br />
<br />
I am frightened by the load I bear....do you wonder if a wiser one should have had my place....be with me now.<br />
<br />
Such wonderful words. Such a poignant prayer for I am called to bring Christ into all the places I step today.<br />
<br />
Many Blessings ~ <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Sandi</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i><br /></i></span><br />
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</div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-89370308649510348622011-12-09T09:04:00.001-05:002011-12-10T17:17:36.782-05:00Today....Respond with Gratitude<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
A wonderful video to hold during this weekend...this two weeks before Christmas weekend! Can you believe it?<br />
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Many Blessings ~ <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Sandi</i></span></div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-5056172070356097942011-12-09T07:14:00.001-05:002011-12-09T08:38:53.539-05:00All life comes out of bleakness.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>When the desire to go forward lessens, When the brightness of insight dims, When the hope of fining a way fails, It is then that I enter into your darkness And I find a nest in your sheltering womb. Entering the hushed cave of your heart I abide in the shadow of your presence, Tuning toward that which is not seen But known in faith, accepted with hope. Resting there, I am enveloped in your love. ~ </i><a href="http://www.joycerupp.com/">Joyce Rupp</a>, <i> <a href="https://www.avemariapress.com/product/1-933495-28-6/Fragments-of-Your-Ancient-Name/">Fragments of Your Ancient Name</a></i><br />
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<br />
Another of my favorite songs of Christmas, <i>Mary, Did You Know</i>?<br />
<br />
Yesterday I listened to a <a href="http://www.klove.com/">K-LOVE</a> DJ tell of decorating her first Christmas tree as an independent adult. It was beautiful and "perfect". She was excited to show others her beautiful tree. Eventually she married, had a family.... and she has allowed her small children to decorate the tree. : )<br />
<br />
You guessed it, this tree is not the tree she decorated "before kids". She admitted this tree is not the "perfect" tree of her younger days. But then, as she concluded her story she said,<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"<i>In the messiness, there you find perfection</i>."</blockquote>
Jesus, when being tempted in the wilderness, said, "<i>It is written...</i>"<br />
<br />
Ann Voskamp writes,<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i style="color: #bf9000; font-weight: bold;">And it's the Word of God that turns the rocks in the mouth to loves on the tongue. That fills our emptiness with the true and real good, that makes the yes see, the body full of light. </i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(AnnVoskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 96)</span></blockquote>
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Messiness. Bleakness. Despair. Sorrow. Darkness....Have you ever thought that new life come out of such places, and hasn't it always been so?<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"><i>1 In the
beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 Now the earth was formless
and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, <u>and the Spirit of God was
hovering</u> over the waters. </i>~ <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%201&version=NIV">Genesis 1</a></span></blockquote>
Ann writes:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>All new life labors out of the very bowels of darkness...Out of the darkness of the cross, the world transfigures into new life. And there is no other way.</i></b></span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(AnnVoskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 96)</span></blockquote>
In yesterday's video Mary was shown as "bearing down". It is suffering/bleakness/imperfection... that has the realest possibility to bear down and deliver grace.<br />
<br />
I have read stories of such grace being delivered and I have experienced receiving such grace. It has been within my brokenness that I have been able to turn toward God, the one who give such grace, and in that grace I have discovered the fullness of joy.<br />
<br />
Mary, did you know....<br />
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In the midst of suffering, it is difficult to know that grace/new life....is being formed within me and around me as the Spirit of God hovers......<br />
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Ephesians 1:11 says,<br />
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<sup><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><i>11-12</i></span></sup><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman";"><i>It's in Christ that we find out who we
are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got
our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part
of the overall purpose <u>he is working out in everything and everyone.</u></i></span></blockquote>
He's working out everything and everyone....<br />
<br />
Ummmm, I've been journaling about eyesight and perspective. I want to focus on the same Word Jesus focused on that enabled him to stay focused on Truth while in the wilderness as I work and live through my own wilderness experiences. I'm thinking that in some ways "life" is a wilderness experience and it is my choice on what I choose to focus. <br />
<br />
I can focus on the questions, the fear, the worry...the despair, the "whys" or I can focus on the Truth that tells me the Spirit of God hovers within, among, between...working out everything and everyone. I can focus on that which brings new life out from the questions.....from that which seems to be total bleakness..... New Life!<br />
<br />
During this season of Advent, of anticipation.... I want to do my best to choose...to wear the lens of that Word on which Jesus focused and as I strive to do this, I pray that I might see. Who knows when angels might appear in the sky announcing Great News? : )<br />
<br />
I do not want to be so preoccupied with "stuff" that I might miss seeing, hearing....<br />
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Many Blessings ~ <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Sandi</i></span><br />
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<!--EndFragment--></div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-11143228418400958942011-12-08T07:35:00.001-05:002011-12-08T07:49:35.039-05:00Taking a moment to simply be....<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Each week I end worship by saying:<br />
<i>The Living Christ wants you to take him from this space into life "out there".</i><br />
<i>He wants/he encourages you to laugh and to love and then to laugh some more.</i><br />
<i>To listen and to learn.</i><br />
<i>To have opinions AND to respect the opinions of others.</i><br />
<i>To be honest.</i><br />
<i>To do little things like saying, "Please" and "Thank You."</i><br />
<i>To be a friend.</i><br />
<i>But most importantly to be the unique and gifted child you were each created to be.</i><br />
<i><br /></i><br />
This morning, I've read my devotions and a few pages in Ann's book, but.... that's about as much as my mind will hold at the moment. I think this is one of those times Jesus is asking/encouraging me to "Laugh"....<br />
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....and simply rest with a good cup of coffee!<br />
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Blessings for a good Thursday!<br />
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Many Blessings ~ <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;"><i>Sandi</i></span></div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-48009918452499499122011-12-07T07:37:00.001-05:002011-12-07T08:20:02.691-05:00Watch for me today, San!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>I am with you in all that you do, even in the most menial task, I am always aware of you, concerned with every detail of your life... </i>Sarah Young, <i>Jesus Calling</i><br />
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I discovered this video yesterday and I sat.... I watched.... I listened.... I pondered.....<br />
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Sarah uses scripture to write her devotions as though Jesus himself is speaking to me. Today she continues saying:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1IPezGqT1Pwy_ZW7nvf_2Y2GeE1KP58lAOgaTXOOODGc5XsO3sZTxduc3Qhrmy7I94cpevoCMWYFWfif2ZbZTOTCXbXx9Y0Utjg7B6n4A3A37lgE_GXpp2TE2iSLpQjP3mtA_RWABZMM/s1600/a.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="284" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1IPezGqT1Pwy_ZW7nvf_2Y2GeE1KP58lAOgaTXOOODGc5XsO3sZTxduc3Qhrmy7I94cpevoCMWYFWfif2ZbZTOTCXbXx9Y0Utjg7B6n4A3A37lgE_GXpp2TE2iSLpQjP3mtA_RWABZMM/s320/a.jpeg" width="320" /></a><i>Nothing escapes My notice - not even the number of hairs on your head. However, your awareness of My Presence falters and flickers; as a result, your life experience feels fragmented. When your focus is broad enough to include Me in your thoughts, you feel safe and complete. When your perception narrows so that problems or details fill your consciousness, you feel empty and incomplete.</i></blockquote>
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<i>Learn to look steadily at me in all your moments and all your circumstances. Though the world is unstable and in flux, you can experience continuity through your uninterrupted awareness of My Presence. Fix your gaze on what is unseen, even as the visible world parades before your eyes.</i></blockquote>
The question in the video, "Would you have come that night.... do I have room...? <br />
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I've been working through Ann's book and asking where God is in these hard eucharisteo moments.... moments that seem to be unending.<br />
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My mom sharing the plight of two life long friends who are in nursing homes....wondering "Why" as their bodies fail them yet they remain here. Why....<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP6I2Fs59MLJtONY5ujrRjGS4b550-nNSS1Xgb68DqYZnYX66dhrXaCc5YHiDcxz5_sLDov8SZlO1pHt4u4-8UyJX0cItI7io7-h7EJvHiXGRLgO9RSmDCMvJYosrmsKzxTApKvsplf1A/s1600/a.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP6I2Fs59MLJtONY5ujrRjGS4b550-nNSS1Xgb68DqYZnYX66dhrXaCc5YHiDcxz5_sLDov8SZlO1pHt4u4-8UyJX0cItI7io7-h7EJvHiXGRLgO9RSmDCMvJYosrmsKzxTApKvsplf1A/s400/a.jpeg" width="400" /></a><br />
A woman I will be visiting later today who lost her grip on "life" many years ago and now lies in a hospital bed with a questionable diagnosis on life.<br />
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A young man and his family with whom I will pray with today who wants to be a vital part of society, but because of an accident faces yet one more surgery today...<br />
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Brunch with a wonderful group of women, who each holds the reality that their bodies are no longer 30, loved ones are experiencing difficulties in health, time, questions....<br />
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Four young women who have my heart and who each hold unbelievable tensions, questions, schedules....and I am helpless to help....<br />
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OMG....I sound like Job!<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVvjydRAguTGvyZm9-JoHHXFSawd_RB_vuXphvtvRbzITGHOc_gbypbXo6SauM1SSMDfTF722ALou9yiOtysT3ikHqYRsx8g_0U3v60yAnnpVBYUUN0sOoJ-x61bz7lnNUJm6kXxQl1I0/s1600/a.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVvjydRAguTGvyZm9-JoHHXFSawd_RB_vuXphvtvRbzITGHOc_gbypbXo6SauM1SSMDfTF722ALou9yiOtysT3ikHqYRsx8g_0U3v60yAnnpVBYUUN0sOoJ-x61bz7lnNUJm6kXxQl1I0/s320/a.jpeg" width="320" /></a><br />
Before I leave today I think I will read through God's response to Job for when I read Job, not in terms of human suffering but in terms of the limits of my understanding, I am reminded.... I am reassured that:<br />
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<i>Nothing escapes My notice...Learn to look steadily at Me in all your moments and all your circumstances...Fix your gaze on what is unseen, even as the visible world parades before your eyes.</i></blockquote>
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I have been holding on to this image for weeks. Besides reading Job before I leave today, I think I may print this out and put it on the dash of my car...just as a reminder.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIyPAuHI2gY7a991j69p2b6DeLvTU2CsSk4uJRnCst5jj1T8UyP0uesMONZ1Mxdd_Gv_TsWWDCBueNimQDQmRYExk7h8OUfc10ApKFYDz2mH6Su6qCzznzUUUPy93-ezdGwuSBuVJ3zOo/s1600/375789_323197674363760_208315275852001_1547001_108135946_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="259" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIyPAuHI2gY7a991j69p2b6DeLvTU2CsSk4uJRnCst5jj1T8UyP0uesMONZ1Mxdd_Gv_TsWWDCBueNimQDQmRYExk7h8OUfc10ApKFYDz2mH6Su6qCzznzUUUPy93-ezdGwuSBuVJ3zOo/s400/375789_323197674363760_208315275852001_1547001_108135946_n.jpg" width="400" /></a>Unlike the Job character, I know the rest of the story....<br />
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I so appreciate this song by Faith Hill, <i>A Baby Changes Everything</i>. It, like all these images I have included today remind me that Jesus is Emmanuel...God WITH me.....<br />
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This video reminds me that we have romanticized the nativity story. I journaled a few days ago that there would have been pain, tears, uncertainty, loss.... by those who gave of themselves to be used so that God could come and live among us. <i>Lord! Help me to embrace the truth that you are within and between all that I see, all that I hold, all that I carry..... Lord, through the power of your Spirit, help me to give thanks in the circumstances I will be carrying this day.....AMEN!</i><br />
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Many Blessings ~ <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Sandi</i></span></div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-34521555809046320512011-12-05T19:32:00.001-05:002011-12-06T06:26:20.364-05:00My Eyesight - My Perspective<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>That which seems evil, is it a cloud to bring rain, to bring a greater good to the whole of the world? Who would ever know the greater graces of comfort and perseverance, mercy and forgiveness, patience and courage, if no shadows fell over a life? </i><br />
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Ann continues to read through her cards containing verses of scripture:<br />
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See now that I, I am He, and there is no god besides Me; It is I who put to death and give life. I have wounded and it is I who heals... ~ Deuteronomy 32:39</blockquote>
Ann writes that these words reconfigure the battle field under her feet.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>I grip the card and I know all our days are struggle and warfare (Job 14:14) and that the spirit-to-spirit combat I endlessly wage with Satan is this ferocious thrash for joy. He sneers at all the things that seem to have gone hideously mad in this sin-drunk world, and I gasp to say God is good.</i></b></span></blockquote>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8qC_ffiIKTNfVAl3jf4vMd-0lrpuXltAcPioX78m-l623rOGSCdy2zMHjFFM5mY__VfnBovIKadVmC00loWVk0ExGarT8eOD36MwGX_bMX_CFHor7-gWNfgI7lup0vuhH3UCMF79CsOI/s1600/a.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="195" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8qC_ffiIKTNfVAl3jf4vMd-0lrpuXltAcPioX78m-l623rOGSCdy2zMHjFFM5mY__VfnBovIKadVmC00loWVk0ExGarT8eOD36MwGX_bMX_CFHor7-gWNfgI7lup0vuhH3UCMF79CsOI/s320/a.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
Jesus said, "Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light. But when your eye is bad, your whole body is filled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, deep that darkness is!" (Matthew 6:22-23)<br />
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Today I read with horror the story of a father who attached a tire jack to his 2 y.o. daughter's car seat and then threw her/car seat and all into a river....she was awake.<br />
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I've a two y.o. grandson....<br />
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I wanted to scream.... but to whom? ..... to what?<br />
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Ann believes that if Satan can keep her eyes from the Word, her eyesight is too poor to read the light - to fill with light.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzfypv1j4GNT9XVzpd_Om1G5KdKPkJxGdA9_xXRG1t6Vl_CNf5Zqr0THbRGsI_C1TYo0CgwR6QkeKxedBH0QOYSB5WIid7HrSngjWojzI4k3JD0vSbAQX51lzkv871qjBF5Gb4P3YUX18/s1600/a.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzfypv1j4GNT9XVzpd_Om1G5KdKPkJxGdA9_xXRG1t6Vl_CNf5Zqr0THbRGsI_C1TYo0CgwR6QkeKxedBH0QOYSB5WIid7HrSngjWojzI4k3JD0vSbAQX51lzkv871qjBF5Gb4P3YUX18/s200/a.jpeg" width="174" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>Bad eyes fill with darkness so heavy the soul aches because empty is never truly empty; empty is only a full, deepening darkness. So this is what it has to be. Eve in the Garden, Satan's hiss tickling the ear, 'Did God actually say...?'</i></b></span></blockquote>
You know, I have been raised in the church. I grew up attending Sunday School, Youth Group, Young Adult classes....until I began teaching classes myself. Yet, I continue to be amazed, and somewhat alarmed, by how little I know and how much there is still to learn, to study, to reflect upon....<br />
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I sometimes wonder if that is one of the weaknesses of the Church today.... this spiritual illiteracy that I feel within myself and notice in many others.<br />
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The world around me is dark! It is much darker than I even realize because I live within its darkness. I have been lulled into "thinking" I see, that I know the Light.... <br />
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It is so easy to become a lazy Child of God.<br />
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Holding all that has gone wrong in her life and within the life of others, Ann writes:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQaVzVzd707IciZFYvihkc-pYOHDj0WUrkjNCEardaEYuszam9eXa3ltT5zxOTe3TeCRL8iygiv5iPPFSwb6_BnsnzPyOe3gr-UXkSLevTf_FFO2MhosQVQV4jhaSSAhKWkAdXT079yzg/s1600/a.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQaVzVzd707IciZFYvihkc-pYOHDj0WUrkjNCEardaEYuszam9eXa3ltT5zxOTe3TeCRL8iygiv5iPPFSwb6_BnsnzPyOe3gr-UXkSLevTf_FFO2MhosQVQV4jhaSSAhKWkAdXT079yzg/s1600/a.jpeg" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>Not using anything to bend the light of this world so I can read my own messy days? Spray on another layer of graffiti; worthless.</i></b></span> </blockquote>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i></i></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>So, I have been ambushed.</i></b></span> </blockquote>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i></i></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>Without God's Word as a lens, the world warps.</i></b></span></blockquote>
Ann slips her scripture card back into her pocket, thus "slipping on her glasses."<br />
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Sigh.....<br />
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I'm stepping through the season of Advent. I'm reading stories I have heard all my life! I "know" these stories so well, I don't even need the Bible to tell these stories.<br />
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Yet, after all my Advent seasons, this Advent I am wondering if I "know" the main character of the story as well as I know his story?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6rzdzgaT4VJ0N8gsj2c0CkYnErdIUs_jvTVUZO-lbrx60D4TNZyboB3sOCRfUpswlpBMKCk3FRGsQzXCByKlzFD2zHVF8MSsuC3rh97S3FNGGPGy-hzIJBODw373t5EHl6Auh6i05nWE/s1600/a.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6rzdzgaT4VJ0N8gsj2c0CkYnErdIUs_jvTVUZO-lbrx60D4TNZyboB3sOCRfUpswlpBMKCk3FRGsQzXCByKlzFD2zHVF8MSsuC3rh97S3FNGGPGy-hzIJBODw373t5EHl6Auh6i05nWE/s320/a.jpeg" width="315" /></a>I am grateful for authors like AnnVoskamp, Joyce Rupp, Phil Gulley, Eugene Peterson....and so many others who challenge me to continually check my eyesight.... to continually challenge me to ask hard questions.....<br />
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At the same time, I am grateful for my parents and grandparents, for Sunday School teachers and professors, for friends and for those joining me on my journey. I am grateful because through them and within them I have the hope and the courage to pause and look hard in the mirror....<br />
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In other words, it is taking an entire village to raise this Child of God! : )<br />
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Many Blessings ~ <i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Sandi</span></i></div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-85283621516400800772011-12-05T05:39:00.001-05:002011-12-05T07:11:18.930-05:00Perspective - how I see<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>"Surely the Lord is in this place and I was not aware of it!" </i>~ <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%2028:11-16&version=NIV">Genesis 28:11-16</a><br />
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: ) My congregation is becoming a bit edgy. They want to sing Christmas carols and I am doing my best to resist the pressure to please and to sit within this season of Advent. Advent, is the time of waiting, of watching, of seeking. In some ways it is an uncomfortable place to be, waiting.... I'm not surprised these good people want to skip over this time of waiting and jump right into the glory and excitement of Christmas.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2thK65yg8wM0rxlrQ64wE0UGmGu1wLVkW96ljYJ39AFDHbhYze47gqdx9J0OpnQlZW3kR66eKyk0rxd2XzqEn1r_4mGbEav4OLOwvkEcWNQIt6sF7PkJcmQQARDkzStGM3P4GFmoAIj0/s1600/A.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="188" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2thK65yg8wM0rxlrQ64wE0UGmGu1wLVkW96ljYJ39AFDHbhYze47gqdx9J0OpnQlZW3kR66eKyk0rxd2XzqEn1r_4mGbEav4OLOwvkEcWNQIt6sF7PkJcmQQARDkzStGM3P4GFmoAIj0/s320/A.jpeg" width="320" /></a>Still, we are called to be still, to be patient, to watch.... To be like Jacob and discover that the Lord is in this place!<br />
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Sarah Young writes in <i>Jesus Calling</i>,<br />
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<i>"His discovery was not only for him but for all who seek Me. Whenever you feel distant from Me, say:</i> '<i>Surely the Lord is in this place!' Then, ask Me to give you awareness of My Presence. This is a prayer that I delight to answer."</i></blockquote>
In Chapter 5, Ann writes of her son's injury and her own struggles during this time. She gives Levi two Tylenol and then goes looking for medicine of her own which is in the form of cards with Bible verses.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Surely, just as I have intended so it has happened, and just as I have planned so it will stand. </i><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah%2014&version=NASB">Isaiah 14:24</a> (NASB) </blockquote>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>A good God plans everything. EVERYTHING. So a good God can only...make plans for good? He only gives good gifts? A thing of evil cannot be created by a good God?</i></b></span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 88)</span></blockquote>
(groan....)<br />
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Such a question to hold on a Monday morning!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN8kSgWBIxqP1M2ZDi9U1JrXulEGNqv7KSPDIo0uCSxhsyl3hbRsUtNOXsdwzhmmV1G7S2m-HvvOq9dG04a4bWarcuuyFoLwVu8lfndDyy2uoXZbk7UBbbBBRu-L8UgKGGhrKU-YKqnhU/s1600/a.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="245" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN8kSgWBIxqP1M2ZDi9U1JrXulEGNqv7KSPDIo0uCSxhsyl3hbRsUtNOXsdwzhmmV1G7S2m-HvvOq9dG04a4bWarcuuyFoLwVu8lfndDyy2uoXZbk7UBbbBBRu-L8UgKGGhrKU-YKqnhU/s320/a.jpeg" width="320" /></a>It is still black as ink outside. The light from my lamps cast shadows when it hits my chair.... Ann reflects that a shadow is an empty space, a hole in the light.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>Evil is all that lacks the goodness of God, a willful choice to turn away from the full goodness of God to that empty of His goodness.</i></b></span></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>All God makes is good. Can it be that, that which seems to oppose the will of God actually is used of Him to accomplish the will of God? That which seems evil only seems so because of perspective, the way the eyes see the shadows. Above the clouds, light never stops shining.</i></b></span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 88)</span><br />
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Still, what perspective sees good in a child suffering abuse, a young mother dying of cancer, a violent storm that claims lives...<br />
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The sun is just beginning to rise and faint light is coming through my blinds. Light is pushing out the darkness that has surrounded me. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julian_of_Norwich"> Julian of Norwich</a> wrote:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>See that I am God. See that I am in everything. See that I do everything. See that I have never stopped ordering my works, nor ever shall, eternally. See that I lead everything on to the conclusion I ordained for it before time began, by the same power, wisdom and love with whivh I made it. How can anything be amiss?</i></blockquote>
Perspective.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDZVR_bSUqaDjpcsyW4pPXrZXk7nHiMo6yNqVDAtPGmsQ7bacVt37dt1KvinAKuqB40ulRLZD9cWNYAdbCGEC2ntgGMahPlOdMaL_2fiiuiT_xcKYqLGtqa5pCSXGct8CnQAOfxwtjqNo/s1600/a.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="264" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDZVR_bSUqaDjpcsyW4pPXrZXk7nHiMo6yNqVDAtPGmsQ7bacVt37dt1KvinAKuqB40ulRLZD9cWNYAdbCGEC2ntgGMahPlOdMaL_2fiiuiT_xcKYqLGtqa5pCSXGct8CnQAOfxwtjqNo/s400/a.jpeg" width="400" /></a><br />
How I see.<br />
<br />
Ann holds similar thoughts and remembers the death of her baby sister. She sees the tombstone in her mind's eye...<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>I won't shield God from my anguish by claiming He's not involved in the ache of this world and Satan prowls but he's a lion on a leash and the God who governs all can be shouted at when I bruise, and I can cry and I can howl and He embraces the David-hearts who pound hard on His heart with their grief and I can moan deep that He did this - and He did.' </i></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 89)</span></blockquote>
Perspective.<br />
<br />
I don't know. I struggle with Ann's thought that "God does...." Yet, to disagree takes power away from an Almighty God.<br />
<br />
Yesterday we read <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Job%2038-42&version=NIV">Chapters 38-41 in Job</a>. Reading Job has been a blessing, an eye opening experience...a challenge to my perspective.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj83QAuj68PwAIJNFBJa6Fhl2X8cXXuC78Vc42woENtHXt2z0AtBMtEeN0o5UecFk69HH9b3m8tMeqFqO_aVR6BDGBz2RJ525o2ybqPwYcWpE7_rDVWc8ZQrTOu-Wxd66A-HXff2PfkoUI/s1600/a.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj83QAuj68PwAIJNFBJa6Fhl2X8cXXuC78Vc42woENtHXt2z0AtBMtEeN0o5UecFk69HH9b3m8tMeqFqO_aVR6BDGBz2RJ525o2ybqPwYcWpE7_rDVWc8ZQrTOu-Wxd66A-HXff2PfkoUI/s320/a.jpeg" width="320" /></a>In Chapter 38 God finally responds to Job and quiets Job's friends with the direct question:<br />
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<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><b><sup>2</sup></b> “Who is this that obscures my
plans<br />
with words without knowledge? </i></blockquote>
If I read Job as a book that tells of human suffering, God's response is cold and harsh. However, I have learned that reading Job as a story that tells of the limits of human understanding, changes my perspective.<br />
<br />
In Chapter 42 Job humbly responds:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI6uVHyuVlvAKmpVW08y3Vg363TY54Pehh_H66RX4e35Ab4d5pchfd_sT1aR_0lP-QZIrRxNICBhYNHrTeK-5vRE4cskSbi1EJ2iuh1PvXfkchhcXfqnlwa6kjjErJhOdIxTyO76v6zgQ/s1600/a.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjI6uVHyuVlvAKmpVW08y3Vg363TY54Pehh_H66RX4e35Ab4d5pchfd_sT1aR_0lP-QZIrRxNICBhYNHrTeK-5vRE4cskSbi1EJ2iuh1PvXfkchhcXfqnlwa6kjjErJhOdIxTyO76v6zgQ/s320/a.jpeg" width="258" /></a><i><br /> 2 “I know that
you can do all things;</i><i> no
purpose of yours can be thwarted.<br /> </i><i>3 You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without
knowledge?’<br /> </i><i> Surely I
spoke of things I did not understand,<br /> </i><i> things
too wonderful for me to know.</i></blockquote>
Ann writes she can feel God holding her as she expresses her grief, like a flailing child tired in her Father's arms as he whispers in her ear:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>Are your ways My ways, child. Can you eat My manna, sustain on My mystery? Can you believe that I tenderly, tirelessly work all for the best good of the whole world - because My flame of love for you can never, ever be quenched?</i></b></span> </blockquote>
Sometimes, Ann writes, we need time to answer the hard eucharisteo and I cannot disagree. Some times, the darkness is to dark and I cannot see the light chasing the shadows. Still, during this season of Advent I am encouraged to wait, to seek, to be still......<br />
<br />
The season of Advent prepares my heart once again to be open to the truth that God loved me so much that he was willing to come and live in my midst....Emmanuel. When I can fully embrace this truth, then the eyes of my heart are opened and I see in a new way..... My perspective has been changed.....<br />
<br />
May it come to pass. AMEN.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/mlXM98lRwwI?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe><i style="text-align: left;"> </i></div>
<br />
<br />
<!--EndFragment--><br />
Many Blessings ~ <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Sandi</i></span></div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-23833405845443345222011-12-03T07:35:00.001-05:002011-12-03T07:51:10.427-05:00Make a joyful sound..<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>So lift up your voice and sing out His praise</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>It’s Christmas</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Born is the King, rejoice in the day</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>It’s Christmas</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Make a joyful sound</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>It’s Christmas</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Let His praise resound</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>It’s Christmas </i>~ Hillsong - Born is the King</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/Qf6OoAZbAQg?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This morning, reading the post of a friend (<a href="http://pleemiller.blogspot.com/">Radical Ramblings and Thoughts of a Southern Girl</a>) I smiled.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I smile as I considered her words and insight on the word "HOPE."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwv77tWrDHRsgc52jzA43wdRWxJV3Vy2_ucLDMivr22ECmrfiHD5LA62TKrbVG6aZm9E3kll8LqmLGrLfFooT54pmqezN-ENIZNFYc7r1dShSou198SzmSxifRizYzfRHWn8KUyMq5nqs/s1600/kids+in+forest+christmas+video+hillsong+collected.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="352" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwv77tWrDHRsgc52jzA43wdRWxJV3Vy2_ucLDMivr22ECmrfiHD5LA62TKrbVG6aZm9E3kll8LqmLGrLfFooT54pmqezN-ENIZNFYc7r1dShSou198SzmSxifRizYzfRHWn8KUyMq5nqs/s640/kids+in+forest+christmas+video+hillsong+collected.jpg" width="640" /></a>I thought how some of my posts recently have felt a bit dark as I journal through Ann Voskamp's book, <i>One Thousand Gifts</i>. Yet, I believe it is my strong sense of Hope that enables me to have the courage to sit with some of these difficult questions.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, in the spirit of my Radical Ramblings Sister, this morning I am not cracking Ann's book, I am simply smiling and enjoying the Hope of this Advent Season.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am celebrating that Hope because within this Hope, I know Joy, Love, and Peace.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Happy Saturday!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQcWdXYQuv9uDXU_COLK_hoiaQB0eB5j-XAgqjnpqqx9dkbI3Q8A2wAN8ZUVytvcr-JmqV6bYwkRGQxM9t3aHLCK3chOMLTGGnI13aRFQRD-XLm3WBdiCh7ymtDxr52fJ31qU4UvTVg_Y/s1600/born+is+the+king+7+hillsong+collected.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="359" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQcWdXYQuv9uDXU_COLK_hoiaQB0eB5j-XAgqjnpqqx9dkbI3Q8A2wAN8ZUVytvcr-JmqV6bYwkRGQxM9t3aHLCK3chOMLTGGnI13aRFQRD-XLm3WBdiCh7ymtDxr52fJ31qU4UvTVg_Y/s640/born+is+the+king+7+hillsong+collected.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Born unto us this day a Savior</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Gifted from heaven to a manger</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>The hope of the world</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>A light for all mankind</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>All of the earth rejoice</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>It’s Christmas time</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>So lift up your voice and sing out His praise</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>It’s Christmas</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Born is the King, rejoice in the day</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>It’s Christmas</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Make a joyful sound</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>It’s Christmas</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Let His praise resound</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>It’s Christmas</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVPE0vnwtHzkGwjULVoOmM3xlyKimN_OCSzDVlZmdjr3paTbIWS2lIxljjCdbg__xWwyELZly2LIUQpLw7WgRUl4SYuor1PF_IctM2Z1AwyH1mbswHIy_OvJk5f1vkhlTTwA5fNxcHRxo/s1600/born+is+the+king+3+hillsong+collected.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="357" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVPE0vnwtHzkGwjULVoOmM3xlyKimN_OCSzDVlZmdjr3paTbIWS2lIxljjCdbg__xWwyELZly2LIUQpLw7WgRUl4SYuor1PF_IctM2Z1AwyH1mbswHIy_OvJk5f1vkhlTTwA5fNxcHRxo/s640/born+is+the+king+3+hillsong+collected.jpg" width="640" /></a><i>Goodwill to all the earth</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>And peace divine</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>All of the earth rejoice</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>It’s Christmas time</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>It’s Christmas time</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>So lift up your voice and sing out His praise</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>It’s Christmas</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Born is the King, rejoice in the day</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>It’s Christmas</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Make a joyful sound</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>It’s Christmas</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Let His praise resound</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>It’s Christmas</i></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Many Blessings ~ <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Sandi</i></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-6039685671409653992011-12-02T06:09:00.001-05:002011-12-02T08:34:43.358-05:00Reading His Messages<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>The woods spell out words. I need a lens to read them. Every dark woods has words. And every moment is a message from The Word-God who can't stop writing His heart. </i>~ Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/WcravEG2ATE?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
I just happened upon this video today...and was touched. It spoke to the busyness and the chaos that is so much a part of my world... The "stuff" that is part of my world, yet I often simply "walk through blindly."<br />
<br />
A couple of years ago I had cataract surgery on both. Now, this surgery was SUPPOSED to remove the cataracts AND give me perfect vision, something I had not enjoyed since pre-school days.<br />
<br />
It didn't.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirKSpvr-ql7qHY2vG_0EwLY0ZrcKZRRCUIGx0ZS6M1WjPZ2ejbvCBz7hN2YG7KiiqszsWmJrs8KwGtT3AHkGQNk7evvnt5sJqFfGNtZkkHn6SUN-90pkuxyOOjjNA2hEthgdiBR7luHcc/s1600/eyesight.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirKSpvr-ql7qHY2vG_0EwLY0ZrcKZRRCUIGx0ZS6M1WjPZ2ejbvCBz7hN2YG7KiiqszsWmJrs8KwGtT3AHkGQNk7evvnt5sJqFfGNtZkkHn6SUN-90pkuxyOOjjNA2hEthgdiBR7luHcc/s1600/eyesight.jpeg" /></a>The surgeon made mistakes and for months I struggled with poor eyesight until I finally canned the surgeon and returned to my original optometrist. She immediately diagnosed the problem and put contacts in my eyes. I can still remember my excitement. I even called the optometrist's office to exclaim, "I can see the numbers on license plates!!!"<br />
<br />
Ann shares a similar story of asking her dad why anyone would bother putting a sign up in their woods if no one could make out the words.<br />
<br />
She was taken to see an optometrist. and the next time she went past the woods she saw the words "<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b>as clear as a bell and I read them plain</b></span></i>:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<b><i>Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved. (Acts 16:31 KJV)</i></b></blockquote>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>The woods spell out words. I need a lens to read them. Every dark woods has words. And every moment is a message from <u>The Word-God who can't stop writing His heart</u>. <u>But who can read His messages?</u></i></b></span><u> </u><br />
<br />
These few sentences caused me to stop and consider.<br />
<br />
Just recently I listened to, what I labeled as "horrific" stories, of some individuals and families. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK99dTv6HvK7tN40zsHXe1SFBAk6G0VF9lm2ofyMe5iImFjIxA9wOSklfJCy71B-IR9mddrCIvmWZJDwL_63ZvVnGiyZXx1akVbo0GyCerLIQPaSzJhi4-Z8Okgmzr3BGt9ghTlVuSkT4/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjK99dTv6HvK7tN40zsHXe1SFBAk6G0VF9lm2ofyMe5iImFjIxA9wOSklfJCy71B-IR9mddrCIvmWZJDwL_63ZvVnGiyZXx1akVbo0GyCerLIQPaSzJhi4-Z8Okgmzr3BGt9ghTlVuSkT4/s1600/images.jpeg" /></a>A fourth grader who had heart surgery this week and will need ANOTHER halo screwed into his head in 2012 to correct something about how his head does/does not grow.<br />
<br />
A young mother given a few months to live.<br />
<br />
A young man facing another surgery to correct injuries from an accident....a surgery that promises to be painful but does not promise to offer relief.<br />
<br />
If God is writing His heart in the world, what do these words spell out?<br />
<br />
I've been reading the book of Job. In <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Job%2033:14&version=MSG">33:13-14</a> one of Job's friends say:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>God is far greater than any human.</i><i>So how dare you haul him into court,<br /> </i><i> and then
complain that he won't answer your charges?</i><i style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">God always answers, one way or another,<br /> </i><i style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;"> even
when people don't recognize his presence.</i> (MSG)</blockquote>
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Psalm <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2019:1-3&version=NIV">19:1-3</a> reads:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>1 The heavens declare the glory of God;<br /> </i><i> the
<b><u>skies proclaim the work of his hands.<br /> </u></b></i><i><b><u>2 Day after day they pour forth speech;<br /> </u></b></i><i><b><u> night
after night they reveal knowledge.</u></b><br /> </i><i>3 They have no speech, they use no words;<br /> </i><i> no sound
is heard from them. </i>(NIV)</blockquote>
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<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hebrews%204:12&version=NCV">Hebrews 4:12</a>...God's words making a careful incision into a life, blade words that kindly cut the tissue back to where soul and spirit join, tenderly laying bare the intents of the heart:<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i><b>God's word is alive and working and is <u>sharper than a
double-edged sword</u>. It <u>cuts all the way into us</u>, where the s<u>oul and the spirit
are joined</u>, to the center of our joints and bones. And it judges the thoughts
and feelings in our hearts. (NCV)</b></i></blockquote>
<br />
Yesterday, I was frustrated trying to figure something out. One of my daughters jokingly said, "Mom, there should be an 'App for that'."<br />
<br />
This morning I am wondering, "Is there an App for all the pain I hear and see?"<br />
<br />
Considering all the words written in the world, Ann to wondered how to deal with the pain in her own life, in the lives of others.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>I hold the medicine bottle, but have I found pills for the pain?</i></b></span></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i style="color: #bf9000; font-weight: bold;">To read His message in moments, I'll need to read His passion on the page; wear the lens of the Word, to read His writing in the world. Only the Word is the answer to rightly reading the world, because TheWord has nail-scarred hands that cup our face close, wipe away the tears running down, has eyes to look deep into our brimming ache, and whisper, 'I know, I </i><u style="color: #bf9000; font-weight: bold;">know</u><i style="color: #bf9000; font-weight: bold;">.' The passion on the page is a </i><u style="color: #bf9000; font-weight: bold;">Person</u><i style="color: #bf9000; font-weight: bold;">, and the lens I wear of the Word is not abstract idea but the eyes of the God-Man who came and knows the pain. </i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 87)</span></blockquote>
Some heavy thoughts for me to consider and hold this morning.<br />
<br />
Good Morning America is on and I can hear about words regarding devastating winds, war, economy.... I wonder, "How does the <b><i>Word </i></b>read the world?"<br />
<br />
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<br />
Many Blessings ~ <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Sandi</i></span><br />
<br /></div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-90921448184275658162011-11-29T20:57:00.001-05:002011-11-30T07:33:22.743-05:00Joy and Pain<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>"The difference between shallow happiness and a deep
sustaining joy is sorrow. Happiness lives where sorrow is not. When sorrow
arrives, happiness dies. It can't stand pain. Joy, on the other hand, rises
from sorrow and therefore can withstand all grief. Joy, by the grace of God, is
the transfiguration of suffering into endurance, and of endurance into
character, and of character into hope--and the hope that has become our joy
does not (as happiness must for those who depend upon it) disappoint us."</i>
<a href="http://walterwangerinjr.org/new_web/index.php">Walter Wangrin</a>, Reliving the Passion</div>
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After recording 1000 gifts, Ann reflects on the realization that she has a journal full of blessings, but as she has awaken to the joy of God's presence/grace/gifts, she has also awaken to the reality that awakening to joy also awakens her to pain.</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib5pCi0RVcIwQT_2DX0yJ48rnM4B-f-PeKqRyphuJhAHHXJp7uEeEkmrfv0XVgCvF3NMU9FErPx4lqn70x3jY_QfsnuS3R-clI-dK5Atrud8JDaoiBkRYlSePcjeXD7elZ6iibK9pVE_4/s1600/download.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib5pCi0RVcIwQT_2DX0yJ48rnM4B-f-PeKqRyphuJhAHHXJp7uEeEkmrfv0XVgCvF3NMU9FErPx4lqn70x3jY_QfsnuS3R-clI-dK5Atrud8JDaoiBkRYlSePcjeXD7elZ6iibK9pVE_4/s320/download.jpeg" width="320" /></a><i style="color: #bf9000; font-weight: bold;">"...life is loss...WHAT will I lose? Health? Comfort? Hope? Eventually, I am guaranteed to lose every earthly thing I have ever possessed. WHEN will I lose? Today? In a few weeks? How much time have I got before the next loss? WHO will I lose? And that's a definite: I will lose every single person I have ever loved. Ether abruptly or eventually...Every step I take forward in my life is a loss of something in my life and I live the waiting." </i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 84)</span></blockquote>
Deep thoughts.<br />
<br />
Real thoughts.<br />
<br />
Thoughts that I often try to avoid.<br />
<br />
In a world of certain loss, then the question comes, "What is 'grace'?"<br />
<br />
By naming "blessings", "gifts"...."God Winks" I am striving to be more aware of God in my life. But, notice the words... "blessings" and "gifts"..... If I name these moments as gifts and blessings, what are the moments of pain, of suffering?<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifLBGxgKYu1mCdri8Aod2tZlDoZAdwFCXSrqhd5TqsDUgIEkssBGM6M7SqOIJTnsjwQRZknIdNbqhNeW4z5Hs34AFIN2a1Y2ugOsh_07o4EiBmC2MTZA-TMBM2OzjLpeqDWFV1ES5iVp8/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifLBGxgKYu1mCdri8Aod2tZlDoZAdwFCXSrqhd5TqsDUgIEkssBGM6M7SqOIJTnsjwQRZknIdNbqhNeW4z5Hs34AFIN2a1Y2ugOsh_07o4EiBmC2MTZA-TMBM2OzjLpeqDWFV1ES5iVp8/s320/images.jpeg" width="320" /></a><br />
<br />
Cursedness?<br />
<br />
Emptiness?<br />
<br />
Forgotten?<br />
<br />
Forsaken?<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>How do you know how to sift through a day, a life, and rightly read the graces, rightly ascertain the curses? </i></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 85)</span></blockquote>
Like me, Ann asks what is good, what counts as grace, <b><u>what is the heart of God</u></b>?<br />
<br />
When Job lost everything, he assumed that God had either turned his back on him or was unfairly punishing him.<br />
<br />
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What is the heart of God?<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>Do I believe in a God who rouses Himself just now and then to spill a bit of benevolence on hemorrhaging humanity? A God who breaks through teh carapace of this orb only now and then, surprises us with a spared hand, a reprieve from sickness, a good job and a nice house in the burbs - and then finds Himself again too impotent to deal with all I see as suffering and evil A God of sporadic, random, splattering goodness - that now and then splatters across a gratitude journal? </i></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 85)</span></blockquote>
Like Job, Ann draws herself up and asks a hard question.<br />
<br />
What are all the moments that I don't list as "gifts", as "blessings"?<br />
<br />
What of these moments?<br />
<br />
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<i>God, it is difficult, this waiting...waiting when I see such darkness within such brightness. Give me courage during this season of Advent to hold both the joy and the pain that is life and to see You. Through the power of your Spirit, may my happiness be transformed into your Joy. AMEN.</i><br />
<i><br /></i><br />
Many Blessings ~ <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Sandi</i></span></div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-54358615540944237302011-11-28T21:08:00.001-05:002011-11-29T06:53:09.506-05:00Waiting.... Watching....<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i>We are in the season of Advent. Advent is the name for these
days leading us to Christmas and the birth of Jesus. It is a season to give
attention to God’s gift for us that is new every year. </i><i>We watch and we wait in Advent. We watch so that we might be
found. ~ </i>Michelle Thomas-Bush</div>
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In her devotional book, <i>Jesus Calling</i>, Sarah Young writes:</div>
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<i>"Problems are part of life. They are inescapable: woven into the very fabric of this fallen world. You tend to go into problem solving mode all too readily, acting as if you have the capacity to fix everything. This is a habitual response, so automatic that it bypasses your conscious thinking...You are ever so limited in your capacity to correct all that is wrong in the world around you...Rather than trying to fix everything that comes to your attention, ask Me to show you what is truly important..."</i></blockquote>
I admit to having a love/hate attitude for this season of the church year.<br />
<br />
I tire of all the things that slip so easily onto my calendar. I tire of my inner expectations for myself at church and at home. I tire of the weary faces of those I meet. I tire of the constant movement....<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmXuAxvhwmqJ1WLRUJ0OHr4XOo5IAs_419bpBbnvEV_KVK-1KuZHZ93xr0m5vq6JE-9_RHl_HieKye2PIu6ZS909x9s0yQVHlcZDYJiDuHNNqOWnfkMKLRlizkewRTn30b7J9vQZvTCJY/s1600/375427_298624343494263_100000400993689_990219_834048042_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="264" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmXuAxvhwmqJ1WLRUJ0OHr4XOo5IAs_419bpBbnvEV_KVK-1KuZHZ93xr0m5vq6JE-9_RHl_HieKye2PIu6ZS909x9s0yQVHlcZDYJiDuHNNqOWnfkMKLRlizkewRTn30b7J9vQZvTCJY/s400/375427_298624343494263_100000400993689_990219_834048042_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Grands that give me so many smiles.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I love the colors and the music. I love hearing the bells ringing. I love the smiles and excitement of the Grands.<br />
<br />
I even love the brightly colored gift wrap!<br />
<br />
I love the Christmas story.<br />
<br />
Yet, more often than I like to admit, I allow the "tires" of the season to create unnecessary "problems" that keep the "loves" of the season hidden. But, this season, I am striving to walk through this season with my eyes more clear, because I want to be more fully living within these moments of mystery and awe. I want to more fully live into to the gifts that are all around me, just ready to bless me and to give me the promised hope, joy, and peace of this season.<br />
<br />
Advent is about waiting.<br />
<br />
Advent is walking through the darkness as I await the coming Light.<br />
<br />
I've been thinking, how Advent is like my journeying of discovering and living through the eyes and heart of Eucharisteo. It is slow, yet I have caught glimpses that encourage me to continue watching and waiting.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC82fHViE2S8NYjJr2vmJNC75aattYv8gdyHSvotioMiDZQy23Tq5-9y9BhoYAQh8S43Wlfy125QOPxLJsrRJTN0N-tMesU01_PrwxRbudhNUkt-jaJeMnfupRt6LLmNRnBTpaietHqUA/s1600/download.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC82fHViE2S8NYjJr2vmJNC75aattYv8gdyHSvotioMiDZQy23Tq5-9y9BhoYAQh8S43Wlfy125QOPxLJsrRJTN0N-tMesU01_PrwxRbudhNUkt-jaJeMnfupRt6LLmNRnBTpaietHqUA/s1600/download.jpeg" /></a>Today I planted an Amaryllis bulb. As I smoothed the soil around the large bulb, I thought how long it takes for the brillant flowers to appear, and then I stopped....<br />
<br />
I stopped and thought how this flower is a perfect bulb to plant during Advent, this season of waiting and anticipation.<br />
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I thought how this flower, as it slowly puts out it long leaves and then its display of brilliant red flowers, is a perfect visual reminder for me to continue this journey as the days and weeks to come promise to be full.<br />
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Daily discipline, especially in the midst of so much stuff, is the door to full freedom. Ann writes of this freedom when she records her 1000th gift:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i style="color: #bf9000;"><b>"...the discipline to count to one thousand gave way to the freedom of wonder and I can't imagine not staying awake to God in the moment, the joy in the now. But, awakening to joy awakens to pain."</b> </i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 84)</span></blockquote>
Joy and pain. Ann's insight is they are but <b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;">two arteries of the one heart that pumps through all those who don't numb themselves to really living. </span></i></b><br />
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Joy and pain.<br />
<br />
I resist pain.<br />
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I want to problem solve pain and make it go away... disappear. Yet, Ann, as she writes her 1000th gift comes face to face with the reality that "awakening to joy awakens to pain."<br />
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I didn't expect that.<br />
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When I pause and consider all these thoughts; as a mother of daughters...when I sit with the Christmas story and consider all that would have been beneath the words of this familiar story, I can imagine there would have also been pain and loss within the wonder and mystery.<br />
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<i>God, through the power of your Spirit, may I be given the courage to continue walking through this time of waiting so that I might learn to live with both the joy and the pain of life. May I walk through this season of Advent with eyes more open and a heart more full. AMEN.</i><br />
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Many Blessings ~ <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Sandi</i></span></div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-45641044942783044362011-11-27T18:01:00.001-05:002011-11-28T07:03:38.955-05:00Rest - Relax - Release - Rejoice<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>Rest in the deep assurance of My unfailing Love. Let your body, mind, and spirit Relax in My Presence. Release into My care anything that is troubling you, so that you can focus your full attention on Me. Be awed by the vast dimensions of My Love for you: wider, longer, higher, and deeper than anything you know. Rejoice that this marvelous Love is yours forever...Bring Me the sacrifice of gratitude, and watch to see how much I bless you. </i>~ Sarah Young, <i>Jesus Calling</i><br />
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<br />
Last week my phone lines went in and out, mostly out, leaving me without Internet access. When the Internet issues began, I felt stressed knowing I could not leave posts during the week of Thanksgiving. <br />
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Thanksgiving!<br />
<br />
Of all weeks to not journal about gratitude!<br />
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All kind of questions and doubts about what others would think if I did not post began to fill my heart until I finally realized the path I was going down was not going to change the fact I did not have Internet and that I had a choice whether to stay on that dark path or step aside and choose another.<br />
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Pausing, then choosing another path...felt great! It felt powerful to intentionally choose a healthier path...<br />
<br />
But then life decided to send another curve ball my way when I learned a much loved daughter decided she and her family would not be gathering with us for Thanksgiving.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNQbk9KjLRDRUxsSIxE6ZqnR0qyhsxZMIeGBj_yZEJr98A_CgrVp5L3OVE3UQo5hz3iwaQTqxGAYQyOpkf4m9laYsuj8Io42QHNUj-fQarzXC1fgrqnLEzgqidjwbjRL-50bOvGks9yf4/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNQbk9KjLRDRUxsSIxE6ZqnR0qyhsxZMIeGBj_yZEJr98A_CgrVp5L3OVE3UQo5hz3iwaQTqxGAYQyOpkf4m9laYsuj8Io42QHNUj-fQarzXC1fgrqnLEzgqidjwbjRL-50bOvGks9yf4/s320/images.jpeg" width="227" /></a>I cried and I focused on what I would not have until my friend reminded me I had a choice. <br />
<br />
I could choose to stay focused on what I would not have OR I could change my focus to what I would have. <i> </i><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>"Let your body, mind, and spirit relax in My Presence. Release into My care anything that is troubling you...and watch to see how much I bless you."</i></blockquote>
<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Peter%205&version=NIV">1 Peter 5:7</a> says: "Cast all your anxieties on him because he cares for you." (NIV)<br />
<br />
Blessings don't always come as I expect.<br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
I think blessings may some times come as quiet peace. And, when I am open to that blessing, I am able to receive more blessings. This past week, I did not have one daughter at the Thanksgiving table, but I had three others/spouses/Grands, both my parents, my brother/sister-in-law, a nephew/wife/baby, and my cousin...and there was much laughter, conversation, listening...and a feeling of love, respect, and gratitude for the relationships that rested between us, among us, and within us.<br />
<br />
When I was able to Rest and Relax, my clenched hands Released and I knew Joy (Rejoice).<br />
<br />
Still, I spent moments walking back and forth through the dark valley of hurt, doubt, and what-ifs off and on through out the weekend. Ann refers to these dark paths as "hard eucharisteo" and in chapter 5 of her book, she offers her own dark moments.<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i style="color: #bf9000; font-weight: bold;">"I'm still transfixed when the ricochet of words rip up the back. 'Levi's hand went through a fan at the barn!'...I know it, even in running down the lane to the barn, this may be it. The hard eucharisteo. Now I know that I don't want to know it yet...Ever. How to lay the hand open for this moment's bread - when it will hurt." </i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 80)</span></blockquote>
Yesterday morning, during the Job study, I was struck with Job's thought that he was no longer blessed because he was no longer experiencing the "good life." Life was not going "his" way. One woman commented that Job had <u>lost hope</u> and was in <u>despair</u>. Another commented that Job had lost his sense of being in "control", that suffering is being thrust into a situation that one has no control.<br />
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When life is good, it is easy to notice God's Gifts...God's Grace, yet all to often I am like Job, when life takes a u-turn and the unexpected happens and my illusion of control is burst in a split second...I silently wonder what of God's Grace then?<br />
<br />
Job asks that hard question that I am sometimes afraid to voice aloud.<br />
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I realized this past week one reason I had hesitated in beginning my own journal of gratitude was I felt like Pollyanna listing "silly" things as grace...as gifts.<br />
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I don't want to be a "Pollyanna", still, I believe that my feeble attempts at writing gratitudes the past couple of weeks did make it easier to refocus (again and again) when I felt kicked in the gut regarding who would and would not be gathering around the Thanksgiving table and why.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>68. Dad carving the turkey.</i> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>69. Warm scents and taste of freshly roasted turkey.</i> </blockquote>
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<i>70. The moon shining brightly.</i></blockquote>
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Yesterday morning I was greeted by many weary faces at church. I didn't have the time to ask how Thanksgiving had gone for them but in some ways, their faces reflected a more than deep weariness.<br />
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Later I wondered if, like me, some had known disappointment during their time of giving thanks. As I wondered this I focused back to myself. I wondered how many of my disappointments come from the Universe not giving to me as I think/believe <u>I should be</u> given (like Job). I wondered how many of my disappointments come from what I have already created in my imagination as "happening".... not happening. (eg: that Norman Rockwell image of family...of "perfection") I wondered how many of my disappointments come from my perception that something is wrong with "me" when that image of perception does not happen and I go down that dark path of retributive judgement. (Job : ) )<br />
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I want to be saintly, yet I'm just San, doing my best every day to be aware, to continue reading and reflecting, to strive to notice and name God's Gifts even within those dark moments of hurt and uncertainty.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>156. A gummy smile.</i> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>157. Daughter #2 back home safe.</i> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>158. Sharing a bowl of blackberries with #3.</i> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>159. Internet! </i></blockquote>
<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians%203&version=NIV">Ephesians 3:16-19</a>, Paul says: "I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you [Sandi] with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your heart through faith. I pray that you [Sandi], being being rooted and established in love, may have power...to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of the fullness of God."<br />
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If I could just fully grasp these sacred truths!<br />
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<i>Bring me the <u>sacrifice of gratitude</u> and watch to see how much I bless you.</i><br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
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The "sacrifice" of gratitude.<br />
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Now, there is another word for me to sit and ponder!<br />
Many Blessings ~ <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Sandi</i></span></div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-58198087970565802892011-11-18T07:47:00.001-05:002011-11-18T10:05:48.457-05:00Living Year Moments<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>The hurry makes us hurt. And maybe it is the hurt that drives us on? For all our frenzied running, seemingly toward something, could it be that we are in fact fleeing - desperate to escape pain that pursues? </i>~ Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 67<br />
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"In the Living Years...."<br />
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"The hurry makes us hurt..."<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>Whatever the pace, time will keep it and there's no outrunning it, only speeding it up and pounding the feet harder; the minutes pound faster too. Race for more and you'll snag on time and leak empty. The longer I keep running, the longer the gash, and I drain, bleed away.</i></b></span></blockquote>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>Hurry always empties a soul. </i></b></span></blockquote>
"Say it clear..."<br />
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Wow, if I need a reminder this morning as I hold all that is on my plate, Ann's thoughts and Mike's words nudge and prod me to simply pause.<br />
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I'm hosting a "party" at the church this coming Sunday for 20 (+) women. I'm preparing a Maple Glazed Roasted Turkey and some side dishes along with Candy Cane Punch. The rest of the meal will be brought in by the participants. I'm calling it a "Family Favorite Pitch-In".<br />
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The three ring notebooks are focused on and the tables will be set in the theme for the afternoon, "Untangling Christmas." Yesterday I was delighted to discover this little guy at Barnes and Noble for 75% off. Is he not a great example of how so many of us, well at least "me", feel either during or after the holidays?<br />
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"Hurry always empties a soul."<br />
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I've been surprised and a bit saddened by the email responses of some of the women who are attending the Untangling Christmas event. <i>"Sandi, I actually dread this time of year. It drives me crazy to hear 'the reason of the season'! I'm doing my best to just hang on, I can't handle being reminded over and over again I have lost the 'reason of the season.'"</i><br />
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I love my family so very much, yet I can relate to some of the emails I have received. Like I said, this little guy from Barnes and Noble is a pretty good image for how I feel on Christmas night....if not before.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGohhvoETN90-kcf9cg1zXPm-Tg-X0BXIdJ13E9LZAEgiDeXvuD5ra_88e93o5F63nt-ppEaqzFk-YAcsbVbrSu0Wbyk4LJ-GqTZ4KIirM-CNXG0i5tWLZ4dvBK7BBIfABtwcwhEGEFrU/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGohhvoETN90-kcf9cg1zXPm-Tg-X0BXIdJ13E9LZAEgiDeXvuD5ra_88e93o5F63nt-ppEaqzFk-YAcsbVbrSu0Wbyk4LJ-GqTZ4KIirM-CNXG0i5tWLZ4dvBK7BBIfABtwcwhEGEFrU/s1600/images.jpeg" /></a>I hear people wishing for more time, yet it isn't "<i>more</i>" time that I need; I just want "<i>enough</i>" time.<br />
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I want time enough to take deep breathes and to really see.<br />
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I want time enough to laugh and to play with the Grands...and even my grown kids.<br />
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I want time enough to truly give of myself rather than to go through the motions.<br />
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I want time enough now...while I'm in the "living years."<br />
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One of my favorite gentlemen at BPC, he's a retired school administrator, but he's really a wise and thoughtful storyteller....anyhow, this past Sunday he looked at me and said something like, "Happiness comes from being grateful."<br />
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I haven't journaled that I have actually begun recording "Gifts"! I was thinking last night that it is in these "gifts" I discover God.<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>36. The yearly call from my mom to say she's found a 20+ pound turkey. </i> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>37. My daughter calling to share a smile received at Starbucks.</i> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>38. The feel of a soft stuffed dog I will share with Grand # 3 this afternoon.</i></blockquote>
No, I don't need "more" time, I just want time to do these moments; these moments during these "living years"; I just want time to do these moments well.<br />
<br />
Some have told me "it's just the way it is" this craziness during these months of October through January.<br />
<br />
"It's just the way it is."<br />
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<br />
No!<br />
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There is more to life than this craziness of hurting as I hurry through life!<br />
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I want to embrace the challenge by Gandhi, "Be the change you want to see."<br />
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<i>39. The branches of the evergreen moving 'with' the wind.</i> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>40. The sunlight filtering through that evergreen and through my blinds to reflect images on my wall.</i></blockquote>
I don't understand, maybe I don't need to understand, but the simple act of writing and naming these ordinary gifts help me to regain a vision of my center.<br />
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It helps me to laugh at this funny little Zombie Buddy as I sit with all that is on my plate.<br />
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I think I will keep him on my desk as a constant reminder to be present during these "living year" moments in the days and weeks to come.<br />
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Many Blessings ~<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i> Sandi</i></span></div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-75368454932446162912011-11-14T09:14:00.001-05:002011-11-14T11:44:07.856-05:00One by one...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>Count your many blessings, name them one by one, And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done. ~ </i>Johnson Oatman, Jr.<br />
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This hymn was originally published in 1897. Ummmm, tells me this message, this journey of eucharisteo is not a new journey.<br />
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Yesterday we had a service of hymns that began with "Great is Thy Faithfulness". Hymns of gratitude and thanksgiving followed until we transitioned from gratitude into stewardship with the old hymn, "We Give Thee But Thy Own".<br />
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Preparing this service I was surprised to discover that many of the familiar hymns of thanksgiving were written by individuals who had lived through or were experiencing great hardship. In the darkness, thanksgiving rose up in their hearts and wonderful hymns were written that have been sung by generations.<br />
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Last week, with the Wednesday Lunch Bunch, we studied the Ten Commandments. I asked the group what "gods" they put before God. The responses were varied and honest.<br />
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My family. My church. My responsibilities with a local NPO. ..... One woman finally said, "My time."<br />
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The title of chapter 4 in Ann's book is The Sanctuary of Time. Ann asks:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFH49ETo_qHQfY4WQQRQCuVft9r8orV9iiy5IRhpxCk2yEKfZ5oSx-8RSat2Y1xTuqFhZPRlq2kDZqDg6hfkdgUVpzSvpbDjFpuG5_TkFwCyumT2a01niedmI1_nHMPsJm-1KXqQSF0nw/s1600/download+%25281%2529.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFH49ETo_qHQfY4WQQRQCuVft9r8orV9iiy5IRhpxCk2yEKfZ5oSx-8RSat2Y1xTuqFhZPRlq2kDZqDg6hfkdgUVpzSvpbDjFpuG5_TkFwCyumT2a01niedmI1_nHMPsJm-1KXqQSF0nw/s1600/download+%25281%2529.jpeg" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>I see my reflection, those seeking eyes. You're the one in the dire need of time, that thing we can't buy, what we sell of ourselves to get more of what we think we want, what we sacrifice to seemingly gain. They say time is money, but that's not true. <u>Time is life</u>. And if I want the fullest life, I need to find fullest time...the busyness of your [Ann speaking to herself] life leaving little room for the source of your life....<u>God gives us time. And who has time for God?</u></i></b></span></blockquote>
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There is a story of a pastor who was asked what was his most profound regret in life. Thinking of all the cemeteries he has visited, he replied: <i>Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing of front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I've ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing... Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away.</i><br />
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Yesterday the keyboard player s-l-o-w-e-d the last phrase of "Count them one by one..." each time we came to the end of the verse. We hadn't talked about it ahead of time, as far as I know, she doesn't read my blog...but as I sang slowly that line again and again, I thought how she was tapping into my own journey of recording eucharisteo. <br />
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Name them...one by one.<br />
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In order to do that, I HAVE to pause and make time, I have to pause in the sanctuary of His time.<br />
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It is different naming God's blessings one by one, than simply lumping them into one big thank you and hurrying out the door.<br />
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<i style="color: #bf9000; font-weight: bold;">I scrub the bowl hard, try to scrape away the regrets of my life lived amateur. </i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 66)</span></blockquote>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWSIeAr616Kkl2riw1iDIKlH6wF6Z3RYKBOi6P9X6lX8MmQ9z3HiLgVGnkAYHseHvrpPNuqxE_3JAJIQylbFJo77g_B9xMEb0qhvrfCdg3HFmf3Q8WqX2GnhA1OnpBDPdwI-0Of2QTJfg/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWSIeAr616Kkl2riw1iDIKlH6wF6Z3RYKBOi6P9X6lX8MmQ9z3HiLgVGnkAYHseHvrpPNuqxE_3JAJIQylbFJo77g_B9xMEb0qhvrfCdg3HFmf3Q8WqX2GnhA1OnpBDPdwI-0Of2QTJfg/s320/images.jpeg" width="232" /></a>Time.<br />
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Would you believe I have worked on this post for nearly 4 hours!<br />
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Time.<br />
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I have had interruption after interruption. <br />
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Life has been happening and once again, my time has been placed before time spent with God.<br />
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Sitting here I hold not only my own stories and thoughts, but the stories of those who have "interrupted". But....as I hold their stories, am I holding God's stories? <br />
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The stories I am holding this morning all deal with individuals living with and within HARD eucharisteo moments. Maybe, my challenge isn't so much to complete a journal posting with some profound and/or provocative thought to consider, as much as it is to prayerfully and intentionally be present with Christ as he is present within these circumstances.<br />
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The <u>SANCTUARY</u> of TIME.<br />
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This morning, I am desperately in need of sanctuary. <br />
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If I am to be present to God within the stories of all my interruptions, I first must simply be still and rest in His sanctuary of time....if counting my blessings one by one helps me to pause so that I am keeping the first commandment of not having any gods be God... then maybe I can better trust Him to be in all these hard eucharisteo moments others are carrying.<br />
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Counting blessings one by one....<br />
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Sanctuary of time.....<br />
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Raising words of thanksgiving and praise within hard eucharisteo moments.....within the harder stories of life....<br />
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Hymns. Praise Songs. Scripture. One Another.... Words that point to One.<br />
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There is another story/saying that the Universe is actually made up of stories rather than atoms. This morning....as I am going to pause and rest in the sanctuary of His time, I am going to consider this truth as well as some of the words that came from life stories of the men and women who penned the words of gratitude and praise that became familiar hymns of thanksgiving.<br />
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Many Blessings ~ <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Sandi</i></span></div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-59739344278788352912011-11-11T19:43:00.001-05:002011-11-11T21:23:40.904-05:00The other side of prayer...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>I pray that you [Sandi] will know that the blessings God has promised his holy people are rich and glorious. And you will know that God's power is very great for us who believe. </i> ~ Ephesians 1:18-19<br />
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Rich Mullins was just the most amazing man used by God....<br />
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"Sometimes you try to impress God with all the right words...."</div>
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Prayer....</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>I give thanks for the seemingly microscopic, I make a place for God to grow within me. This, this, makes me full...What will a life magnify? The world's stress cracks, the grubbiness of a day, all that is wholly wrong, and terrible busted? Or God? Never is God's power or knowing small. God is not in need of magnifying by us, who are so small, but the reverse. It's our lives that are little and we have falsely inflated self, and in thanks we decrease and the world returns right. I say thanks and I swell with Him, and I swell the world, and He stirs me, joy all afoot.</i></b></span> </blockquote>
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<i style="color: #bf9000; font-weight: bold;">This, I think is the other side of prayer. </i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 59)</span></blockquote>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaEGFRzAC_DmIggHndwoCIoEdjYhyCX48LSrJVB8BSWgMETIQWccVsypYIBeOHuAtxryqiO6tFuRMZ-BADzwDXMXOMzu3UXfI1xnqMWlqVnpKvKSxmWulJ3u5Skt8B3gSU46uBzxKl1ZA/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaEGFRzAC_DmIggHndwoCIoEdjYhyCX48LSrJVB8BSWgMETIQWccVsypYIBeOHuAtxryqiO6tFuRMZ-BADzwDXMXOMzu3UXfI1xnqMWlqVnpKvKSxmWulJ3u5Skt8B3gSU46uBzxKl1ZA/s1600/images.jpeg" /></a>"The other side of prayer."<br />
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What a provocative thought.....<br />
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In the Job study we have talked about the throne room of heaven, not something I have ever thought a lot about...but, would the "other side of prayer" be my moving more into God's presence? Would it be the "throne room"?<br />
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<i style="color: #bf9000; font-weight: bold;">The list is God's list,the pulse of His love - the love that thrums on the other side of our prayers. And I see it now for what this really is, this dare to write down one thousand things I love. It is really is a dare to name all the ways God loves me. The true Love Dare. To move into His presence and listen to His unending and know the grace uncontainable. This is the vault of the miracles. <u>The only thing that change us, the world, is this - all His love.</u> </i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Ann Voskamp, p 60)</span></blockquote>
I think of Gandhi's challenge to me, "Be the change you wish to see..."<br />
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When I give thanks for the "microscopic things" like sunshine filtering through my kitchen window, the taste of warm cider from a pretty cup, the fingerprints of my Grands on my stainless steel refrigerator, being able to dial the phone and hear my mom or dad say, "hello...".... you know those ordinary/everyday things of life...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMQAcuBqCSGrn5_udf8lFAeR-GEe2Y6FLD8Tzd6R87s1tP9VFRtwRtUfMraZiJQStUa0rXDVPWh86aRownYzQcL2hXYZJ5BOS6JhmvHGXh1_s8tcR26ipN7NL0WgTVrnaAB1I3XwiJbw0/s1600/images+%25281%2529.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMQAcuBqCSGrn5_udf8lFAeR-GEe2Y6FLD8Tzd6R87s1tP9VFRtwRtUfMraZiJQStUa0rXDVPWh86aRownYzQcL2hXYZJ5BOS6JhmvHGXh1_s8tcR26ipN7NL0WgTVrnaAB1I3XwiJbw0/s1600/images+%25281%2529.jpeg" /></a>When I pause and offer gratitude for these everyday things...I stand on the other side of prayer...I stand in His presence....I stand on holy ground....<br />
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I feel so ...<br />
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small....<br />
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I feel amazed...<br />
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Ann writes:<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><i style="font-weight: bold;">I am bell and He is sure wind, and He moves and I am rung and I know it for what it is: this is the other side of where Daniel, man of prayer, lived. Change agent, mover and shaker Daniel, second-to-the-king Daniel...Rather, his prayers moved kings and lion jaws because Daniel "prayed three times a day, just as he had always done, giving thanks to his God." </i>(Daniel 6:10) </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Ann Voskamp, p 60)</span></blockquote>
Wow...I've really got a lot to hold and reflect upon this evening.<br />
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Prayer. Holy Ground. Change agent. Daniel.... Something I take for granted....Something I all to often treat very casually.<br />
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I want to keep reading, to keep journalling these thoughts and images, yet I feel nudged to sit still with all that is rushing through my heart.<br />
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The other side of prayer....<br />
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Many Blessings ~ <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>Sandi</i></b></span><br />
<br /></div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-16970299009019049332011-11-09T22:17:00.001-05:002011-11-09T22:17:11.728-05:00Making a place for God to grow...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>Something always comes to fill the empty places. And when I give thanks for the seemingly microscopic, I make a place for God to grow within me. </i>Ann Voskamp, <i>One Thousand Gifts, </i>p. 59<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6xbmq7j5IMj7sv6MqludptNtJ0kc_BnlZ5LqBQIypUbqwW_aEo3HV3QaGEvkb4DdcIRxCmXRgqHMEvMz2QiYbnydzf7Pn_Fi1r8bpcT0fTzfDnbY6fa3ceYVhN-UON4bgwrto4OLMIpg/s1600/download.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6xbmq7j5IMj7sv6MqludptNtJ0kc_BnlZ5LqBQIypUbqwW_aEo3HV3QaGEvkb4DdcIRxCmXRgqHMEvMz2QiYbnydzf7Pn_Fi1r8bpcT0fTzfDnbY6fa3ceYVhN-UON4bgwrto4OLMIpg/s1600/download.jpeg" /></a>According to the book of Genesis,<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehovah-jireh"> Jehovah Jireh </a>was a place in the land of Moriah, which according to legend is the place Abraham was going to sacrifice his son Isaac. Jehovah Jireh, the Lord will provide.<br />
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This evening I have been thinking of all the ways the Lord provides, sometimes in ways we may not be expecting.<br />
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This evening I have been wondering if as I strive to seek God in all places, to live from an attitude of gratitude, if I am more aware of how he is and has been providing for me?<br />
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I've journaled about the Wednesday Lunch Bunch.<br />
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I began this gathering as a Bible 101 Crash Course around a simple meal on the second Wednesday of each month. I decided each month would be a stand alone conversation so people could come and go. I would be lying if I had not hopefully envisioned a full table with lively discussion, but I have learned the past several years that those who God calls to gather....are those who gather.....and when I accept that.....I am ALWAYS RICHLY blessed.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXCM3e1Psh9UrvJ8OqYhKxqCypyQtwL-xwtDTwg1ihSSHWi0y5dmtQDxhKZhglDCIEXK2bqKixip7PkCMZr_iGV4UXfmDAWY8XjsduEW596me5-uD3dh9oAfRDqGp94lhe5eauc4tXZHA/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXCM3e1Psh9UrvJ8OqYhKxqCypyQtwL-xwtDTwg1ihSSHWi0y5dmtQDxhKZhglDCIEXK2bqKixip7PkCMZr_iGV4UXfmDAWY8XjsduEW596me5-uD3dh9oAfRDqGp94lhe5eauc4tXZHA/s1600/images.jpeg" /></a><br />
Such is the case with the Wednesday Lunch Bunch.<br />
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Is there a full table, no. Yet, those who God has called to participate have gathered and it is a small table with lively discussion. I cannot begin to express how blessed I am with the conversation, the questions, the insights of those who gather for a bowl of soup and a Bible. Today, I simply shook my head as I left the church and whispered a prayer of gratitude.<br />
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A few weeks ago I downloaded the e-book by Karen Ehman and LeAnn Rice, <i>Untangling Christmas</i>. Karen and LeAnn are both authors of Proverbs 31 Ministries, not a site I visit. In fact, I have no idea how I came across this book! But....it has been a gift...a blessing!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQMmLSp4vsyX2Dvbkh-7bWjzof2YPPJphQcyiF5ZernYEAduTNnvUoCA4A03YcAWg0RME02Pnai01NLpr7pqKaRy_8PhXNvFYxKVtI8sLGPl3RXyIMm0BqL15t9McM92i8jTuSe99oPps/s1600/download.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQMmLSp4vsyX2Dvbkh-7bWjzof2YPPJphQcyiF5ZernYEAduTNnvUoCA4A03YcAWg0RME02Pnai01NLpr7pqKaRy_8PhXNvFYxKVtI8sLGPl3RXyIMm0BqL15t9McM92i8jTuSe99oPps/s320/download.jpeg" width="244" /></a>I am untangling the upcoming holiday! Me!!!<br />
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Originally I thought it would be a fun thing to offer as a women's gathering at the church. Which means, like everything else I prepare...I really learn more than anyone else. <br />
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Because I stumbled upon this book and then decided to offer it to others, I have a focus as I approach the busiest time in any mom's, Giz's, and pastor's life...that I have not had for many years. Plus, we are having a women's gathering that I am looking forward to! In addition to the conversations around the book, it will also be a pitch-in of favorite holiday foods and a recipe swap. A win/win! And I'm blessed more than anyone!<br />
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As I seek God in the little things and say, "Thank You" I am finding it easier to accept "gifts" without as much of my "knee jerk" reaction.<br />
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This coming Saturday is the church's annual Turkey Dinner. It is a hard week of planning, grocery shopping, preparation. Today I saw all the loaves of bread waiting to be broken up for dressing. I didn't look to see if there were pounds and pounds of potatoes already in the kitchen waiting to be peeled on Saturday morning. It is an effort of the entire congregation, but, like so many other things....a few do A LOT of the work.<br />
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I grew up with such dinners. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhctlGLwYevz4ojw-DB_q2u7IoFi52FH2kKuAMyZ_NJW-yc2sYDnzO73HyvJ8p5-N8blbPnIaBXCpXrbAxD81xAI-JsFc4WkImxFyM-SL3y6eYR8VB2PLaEfFJSxK6ud3O_UEoZWT2V5p4/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhctlGLwYevz4ojw-DB_q2u7IoFi52FH2kKuAMyZ_NJW-yc2sYDnzO73HyvJ8p5-N8blbPnIaBXCpXrbAxD81xAI-JsFc4WkImxFyM-SL3y6eYR8VB2PLaEfFJSxK6ud3O_UEoZWT2V5p4/s400/images.jpeg" width="400" /></a>I know what goes into them and I expect to carry my weight.<br />
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However, instead of having a turkey to roast this year and desserts to prepare....instead of being scheduled to work.... I've been given the night off! The email this evening read:<br />
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<i>I hope you didn't get upset with my message. I really don't want to see you get burned out before the holidays. I have changed a few things about the supper and the upcoming holidays. I am not getting all tangled </i>(notice the word "tangled"?)<i> like I usually do. Please just come and enjoy. Mingle and enjoy....</i><br />
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My initial "knee jerk"?<br />
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What's going on! Do they think I can't carry my weight? What....<br />
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And then I thought, "San, where is God in this? Is it possible to simply say, 'thank you'? Because the reality is....this is a killer evening/weekend for you!"<br />
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By the time Sunday evening comes and I pull into my garage after an exceptionally long weekend, I am physically and emotionally tired.<br />
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Jehovah Jireh.<br />
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The Lord will provide when I open my hands, willing to receive his blessings.<br />
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Has this "transformation" happened because of Ann's book....No. <br />
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Her book has been a part of a ONGOING process that began many months, maybe years, ago.<br />
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I am slowly unclenching my fists and relaxing my stance....making it possible for me to receive. Still....I'm just making beginning sounds of this language of gratitude. With the help and encouragement of all those God sends to walk alongside me....I pray that I continue the process of learning how to speak this language so that I might live a life full.<br />
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<i>Awesome God, I thank you for all those who bless my life with conversation, laughter, listening, caring....friendship and love. Through them, I gain a glimpse of your kingdom here on earth. Healing and merciful God, you know the needs of one I love deeply. Please God, I pray for healing and strength....I pray for a way to be made.... AMEN.</i><br />
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Many Blessings<i> ~ <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Sandi</span></i></div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-66445735957188235292011-11-08T21:13:00.000-05:002011-11-08T21:24:45.464-05:00Living fully in the present...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>"Jeremiah's letter is a rebuke and a challenge. Jeremiah may as well be saying, 'Quit sitting around feeling sorry for yourselves.' The aim of the person of faith is not to be as comfortable as possible, but to live as deeply and thoroughly as possible - to deal with the reality of life, to discover truth, to create beauty, to act out of love." </i>~ Eugene Peterson, <i>Run with the Horses, </i>p. 152<br />
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I've previously admitted what I am doing in one area of ministry, leaks into another. Today, I was reading Jeremiah in preparation for tomorrow''s Wednesday Lunch Bunch. And...I was surprised to discover connections with my journey through Ann Voskamp's book, <i>One Thousand Gifts</i>.<br />
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History lesson:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmNt4m7Y_aDY2bBOQ9msbw_axPIceX8mx5o1s8ye4VNShxbYq1a456-vT_DWtGo5-22Z_SarpVhhkZReN7iYvr-QKgxTzxtxJ5uufBO5MKaPNTxac6I-J9LF8YjPb3-O7hiwMctXhFy7U/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmNt4m7Y_aDY2bBOQ9msbw_axPIceX8mx5o1s8ye4VNShxbYq1a456-vT_DWtGo5-22Z_SarpVhhkZReN7iYvr-QKgxTzxtxJ5uufBO5MKaPNTxac6I-J9LF8YjPb3-O7hiwMctXhFy7U/s320/images.jpeg" width="320" /></a>Israel was taken into exile in 587 BCE. The people were uprooted from the place they had been born...the land in which their identity as "God's People" had been formed. Eugene Peterson writes,<br />
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<i>In the new land, Babylon, customs were strange, the language incomprehensible, and the landscape oddly flat and featureless. All the familiar landmarks were gone. </i></blockquote>
Like the song from Les Miserables, the exiles dreamed a dream of a time.... They wondered when they would be able to go back home...back to "normal".<br />
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I sat with that thought for some time. When I resist gratitude, I am often dreaming a dream of life as I like... life that is comfortable with little or no uncertainties or pain....<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnKWvntcozlHhBLsBgfA3J2Jx8BPEr3EtGqsePJmub__TCGPCFzJmeaCVTuoR-0uMEUct608dztaB2TUMlaTmd4ZfzlNnE7f-cTU9U9tgMegB6hbGTEVR-RsaAiVyug8KNZzp1RiK4vl0/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnKWvntcozlHhBLsBgfA3J2Jx8BPEr3EtGqsePJmub__TCGPCFzJmeaCVTuoR-0uMEUct608dztaB2TUMlaTmd4ZfzlNnE7f-cTU9U9tgMegB6hbGTEVR-RsaAiVyug8KNZzp1RiK4vl0/s320/images.jpeg" width="320" /></a><br />
I am beginning to gain a deep love of scripture. <br />
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Within these wonderful ancient words, I discover wisdom and truth that I can hold and live through today. When I do not read this sacred book as history, but as sacred truths....as a book of faith rather than history....I can find healing.<br />
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While some were predicting a time Judah would go home, Jeremiah told them to, "Build houses, live in them. Plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry. Have children. Invest in relationships..."<br />
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In other words, I hear Jeremiah telling me the only place I have in which to be human is right where I am now, in this day....to live fully in the present and get on living the life I have in this present moment. Not the life I had nor the life I wish for....the life I am living today.<br />
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And when I do this, Jeremiah tells me:<br />
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<i>Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord. </i>~ Jeremiah 29:12-14 NIV</blockquote>
In other words...."San, look for God everywhere..."<br />
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Isn't that what striving to live from a place of gratitude is all about, seeing God in every circumstance? No matter how painful, how small, how beautiful.... seeing God.<br />
Ann writes on page 58:<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>I know there is poor and hideous suffering, and I've seen the hungry and the guns that go to war. I have lived pain, and my life can tell: I only deepen the would of the world when I neglect to give thanks for early light dappled through leaves the heavy perfume of wild roses in early July and the song of crickets on humid nights and the rivers that run and the stars that rise and the rain that falls and all the good things that good God gives. <u>Why would the world need more anger, more outrage?</u></i></b></span></blockquote>
Why would the world need more anger or more outrage?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp0Fh5GRlh0xRcisNSnOyUBID8NL8y00tRtApy9zN48eksxehMfpT1ULgMeKuoVZUKtjnucs3gdEzLhkYcgZiuBqhIFvZok0oCfz9U8fHGW9o3AhtHDHYhj2CHerdvSoNlAoZ7Xx4PGwA/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp0Fh5GRlh0xRcisNSnOyUBID8NL8y00tRtApy9zN48eksxehMfpT1ULgMeKuoVZUKtjnucs3gdEzLhkYcgZiuBqhIFvZok0oCfz9U8fHGW9o3AhtHDHYhj2CHerdvSoNlAoZ7Xx4PGwA/s320/images.jpeg" width="320" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>How does it save the world to reject unabashed joy when it is joy that saves us? Rejecting joy to stand in solidarity with the suffering doesn't rescue the suffering. The converse does. The brave who focus on all things good and all things beautiful and all things true, even in the small, who give thanks for it and discover joy even in the small, who give thanks for it and discover joy even in the here and now, they are the change agents who bring fullest Light to all the world.</i></b></span></blockquote>
When I allow joy to seep into my soul...into the cracks where I am dry or broken...light begins to shine.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>The clouds open when we mouth thanks.</i></b></span></blockquote>
I'm not sure whether Jeremiah was saying to be grateful, but he was saying To Live.... To Live Fully!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpZDO-gkCkuU0itsb-V-HyynyZ4CKGz6zG6bj1wsyvI-_TkP27cbOO4CsCv-rto2CyAtDikppW7K2eGNdZ43hxQpXmFq8FlR8EBTavhcMhBy7AkQeJBAEog3zrrPmVXPrCmxA2D1Fc3AU/s1600/images+%25281%2529.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpZDO-gkCkuU0itsb-V-HyynyZ4CKGz6zG6bj1wsyvI-_TkP27cbOO4CsCv-rto2CyAtDikppW7K2eGNdZ43hxQpXmFq8FlR8EBTavhcMhBy7AkQeJBAEog3zrrPmVXPrCmxA2D1Fc3AU/s1600/images+%25281%2529.jpeg" /></a>To live fully is to live seeking God in everything and everywhere.<br />
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Yesterday Ann wrote of using her camera as a hammer to nail lessons into life.<br />
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Yesterday Ann wrote of using her camera to snap a moment of gratitude for grated cheese....how small and insignificant.... Seeking God in everything and everywhere... Even in a mound of grated cheese.<br />
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Jeremiah, Job, Eugene Peterson, and Ann Voskamp all with words to challenge me to live, to seek, to discover that which gives me full life.<br />
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<i>Lord, just doing some rambling thinking this evening. By your Spirit, help me connect the dots... AMEN.</i><br />
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Many Blessings ~ <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Sandi</i></span></div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-77505213916652174412011-11-07T07:19:00.000-05:002011-11-07T07:19:03.689-05:00Grated Cheese - Grateful<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>A lifetime of sermons on "thanks in all things" and the shelves sagging with books on these things and I testify: life-changing gratitude does not fasten to a life unless nailed through with one very specific nail at a time. </i>~ Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 57<br />
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Ann writes that there are days her camera is a hammer. I certainly appreciate that analogy. So many times I have run inside or back to my office to grab my camera. I want to capture a moment that has reminded me of God's faithfulness. [you can imagine my sorrow when I realized my camera was not working when I grabbed it from my bag on our way to Wisconsin on Friday....I'm still working on the blessing of my broken camera. : ( ]<br />
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Anyhow, the Farmer walks into the kitchen just as Ann is focusing her camera to get a picture of a plate of grated cheese,<br />
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<i style="color: #bf9000; font-weight: bold;">I like finding you just like this...You being happy in all these little things that God gives. It makes me very happy. </i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 56)</span></blockquote>
Happiness and joy.<br />
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Joy is part of living life to the fullest, and joy is always given, never grasped. God <u style="font-weight: bold;">gives</u> gifts and I <u style="font-weight: bold;">give</u> thanks. It is in the giving thanks that I receive and unwrap the gift of joy.<br />
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I want the spirituality, the peace, the joy of the masters....yet, I must learn, I must practice....like Ann I do this by finding blessings in something like a plate of grated cheese.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBdx6aD5HBJQbubSKanAQ2iM3osBpDKix6esCVvuQunKmFgTcUSq9SuMI7Lp0br9JEGIWFYQ4aATcgIgvsyqSc4GFI70bIEJ6D0lkmnBLn0aAjkcvcXUrqXm2D-jejIYwOJtA9VIfr4l4/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBdx6aD5HBJQbubSKanAQ2iM3osBpDKix6esCVvuQunKmFgTcUSq9SuMI7Lp0br9JEGIWFYQ4aATcgIgvsyqSc4GFI70bIEJ6D0lkmnBLn0aAjkcvcXUrqXm2D-jejIYwOJtA9VIfr4l4/s400/images.jpeg" width="91" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>Gratitude for the seemingly insignificant - a seed - this plants the giant miracle...Do not disdain the small. The whole of the life - even the hard - is made up of the minute parts, and if I miss the infinitesimals, I miss the whole...There is a way to live the big of giving thanks in all things. It is this: to give thanks in this one small thing. The moments will add up. </i></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 57)</span></blockquote>
Ephesians 5:20 says, "And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."<br />
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Like Ann, I have read this, I have used it in sermons...yet I struggle. I struggle to find the blessing in small things like a broken camera. I REALLY struggle to find the blessing in bigger things like young mothers battling cancer, failed crops, physical pain....<br />
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Yet, by sitting with the frustration of a broken camera or the fear and uncertainty of cancer...I miss the sign of Life and Love that is around me.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgouCQJHw_gUEye_3hhnL6JsIjP4uhD0QxvNZxTk4nBU7PLR70fECIpaMx6EBSbcLrgw2y8zEkVSq7s0-1D10jE91h62ZDiLwc9-BISXUlydVQeIVLBFeJDJBm3b2vRqHDVNe1NCnS3ajI/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgouCQJHw_gUEye_3hhnL6JsIjP4uhD0QxvNZxTk4nBU7PLR70fECIpaMx6EBSbcLrgw2y8zEkVSq7s0-1D10jE91h62ZDiLwc9-BISXUlydVQeIVLBFeJDJBm3b2vRqHDVNe1NCnS3ajI/s320/images.jpeg" width="212" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>But in this counting gifts, to one thousand, more, I discover that slapping a sloppy brush of thanksgiving over everything in my life leaves me deeply thankful for very few things in my life. A lifetime of sermons on "thanks in all things" and the shelves sagging with books on these things and I testify: life-changing gratitude does not fasten to a life unless nailed through with one very specific nail at a time. </i></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 57)</span></blockquote>
Little nails and a steady hammer...it is this that will rebuild my life....will build transformation of peace and joy.<br />
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Eucharisteo precedes the miracle.<br />
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It is with this insight that Ann snaps a picture of cheese.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJWDF2hWsGkDaLZYcguBPBGEnnzxrDZASDphqr6XGuxBO6svD-_u_XGf-QJkUdA8gng-uSIUhq1F5RE_9GXpnrIoJYQQmCN6KNYBnSXXVJ1dG8O1zl1hbIi0KhyrOTEDBF4LCgwy6knFw/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJWDF2hWsGkDaLZYcguBPBGEnnzxrDZASDphqr6XGuxBO6svD-_u_XGf-QJkUdA8gng-uSIUhq1F5RE_9GXpnrIoJYQQmCN6KNYBnSXXVJ1dG8O1zl1hbIi0KhyrOTEDBF4LCgwy6knFw/s320/images.jpeg" width="320" /></a>I have been putting off taking several steps that would lead me to emotional health, physical health, and spiritual health.<br />
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One, posting on this journal helps to keep me focused on spiritual health, but this time then pushes aside the exercise I desperately need for my physical health. November is the month in which many of us focus on gratitude, and this November....I want to make some changes in my life so that I can better embrace the many gifts God has showered upon me.<br />
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Small steps... Small steps when I want to be running a marathon! : )<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixC0BO1leuq4RFAKPtT7CDaM22fUi6Iqcg8jnTB0tc9ZsZrFd3fG2jnfv2rK0lDEVTe0PxJNCL6k_ayg7tvTWGaOog7MxmiJtiEkyoVpTK3iI0NwPIf6dmLpD8Nhu66-HnnggsA_xs0UE/s1600/download.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixC0BO1leuq4RFAKPtT7CDaM22fUi6Iqcg8jnTB0tc9ZsZrFd3fG2jnfv2rK0lDEVTe0PxJNCL6k_ayg7tvTWGaOog7MxmiJtiEkyoVpTK3iI0NwPIf6dmLpD8Nhu66-HnnggsA_xs0UE/s1600/download.jpeg" /></a>Patience.<br />
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Perseverance.<br />
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One small step....I guess it is time to get out of the boat!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyB8zS2ORVhBBLKdAmfSWCXTJC8UgCbsFJxbJdXRaEO4BlYX5tV9aH7twbr0CX3wcD_tob05_aZgbzafl2MJdJahXbalPwjQ_R6M7QDeJxS8coolAJCN7eGPhhnkMB7GRO9qn5cYzXl1E/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyB8zS2ORVhBBLKdAmfSWCXTJC8UgCbsFJxbJdXRaEO4BlYX5tV9aH7twbr0CX3wcD_tob05_aZgbzafl2MJdJahXbalPwjQ_R6M7QDeJxS8coolAJCN7eGPhhnkMB7GRO9qn5cYzXl1E/s1600/images.jpeg" /></a>I'm not sure how becoming more serious about exercise will affect my blogging posts...one small step.... and trust that Spirit will lead me as I strive toward wholeness...as I strive toward a life lived fully.<br />
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<i>It is only through your Spirit that I can "Surrender All". Yet, as I struggle with my issues of control, fear of letting go....As I read and as I desire to live fully in You...I know you love me for my desire to live fully in hope, peace, love and joy....and that you will always be near to guide me and encourage me. Thank you. Amen.</i><br />
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Many Blessings ~ <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Sandi</i></span></div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-72314496386051585392011-11-03T18:07:00.002-04:002011-11-03T18:08:00.402-04:00Peace is.....<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>Now, may the Lord of Peace Himself continually grant you peace in every circumstance. </i><a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2%20Thessalonians%203:16;&version=NASB;">2 Thessalonians 3:16</a><br />
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I had Indian for lunch today.<br />
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The scents of the small restaurant were wonderful and I enjoyed the different tastes. Besides the scents and tastes, I enjoyed lunch with a friend with whom I can probe the theology of the church and share thoughts and questions I only raise in a few safe spaces.<br />
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Coming home, I opened Eugene Peterson's "<i>The Message</i>" and my eyes fell upon the verse from 2 Thess. I read it several times and then did a search for a quote on thanks/joy/peace and I discovered this quote by....Ann Voskamp! <br />
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I have sat, studying and reflecting on this quote.....<br />
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Some days I am uncertain exactly how to explain matters of faith.<br />
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Days such as this often leave me feeling unsettled and restless. Today, reading this quote by Ann a few minutes after reading the passage from 2 Thessalonians I thought...<br />
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1. Peace does not come within circumstances.<br />
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2. Paul reminds me I can <u>learn</u> to be grateful within any circumstances.<br />
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3. I may not always agree with the theology of the church....one of my circumstances.<br />
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Ann Voskamp has also written that she believes Peace is a Person. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTd6HCsBnu8-C-NYmhxUFRrJ3jZJtMIKwK6MdnguuDMGY-QbXzAu-WeAhT4SpKF0o5Jx4DZJMi07AId-GdS7AWdOw17MwhtpVD_WjzUelh_6ANBPL0yl7niEZlFFE-QNFiDcvd-lR3i5M/s1600/images+%25281%2529.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTd6HCsBnu8-C-NYmhxUFRrJ3jZJtMIKwK6MdnguuDMGY-QbXzAu-WeAhT4SpKF0o5Jx4DZJMi07AId-GdS7AWdOw17MwhtpVD_WjzUelh_6ANBPL0yl7niEZlFFE-QNFiDcvd-lR3i5M/s1600/images+%25281%2529.jpeg" /></a>You know....there are days I wish I could simply hear for myself what Jesus said, rather than reading what others have written he said. Yet, even though I have questions regarding the writings of New Testament authors, I do agree with Ann, that Peace is a Person. <br />
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Peace is this Person, Jesus, that someday I just can't wait to hear what he has to say for myself!<br />
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Until then....<br />
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I can continue to practice the disciplines he taught (pausing, prayer, study.....) and within these disciplines, be grateful.<br />
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I'm going to be spending a few days with my family...for that I am grateful! <br />
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Blessings for a weekend of beauty, compassion, and discovery.<br />
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Many Blessings ~ <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Sandi</i></span></div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-47603124627940878392011-11-01T09:36:00.001-04:002011-11-01T09:36:51.513-04:00It Takes Practice<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>It's hard to think that the insulting ordinariness of this truly teaches the full mystery of the all most important, eucharisteo. It's so frustratingly common - it's offensive. </i>~ AnnVoskamp<br />
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Drew's family is proud of his accomplishments of learning to play the piano. I remember painstakingly playing <i>Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star</i>. All the while yearning to play a much more complicated concerto!<br />
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It takes practice to learn anything!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtFHBZwj9B7RvdS1HMd3I6b9IF1K2P3qc_fDCtaM81A7EjrnZJph-d1vRNfaVSHmLvhTINwAvP7JBjCSQKcCUbIx_m1YI2Xj9TluA8RstiRjgufdnklLgfhXGHhiqJe2BDqW-3E8MG9aE/s1600/images+%25283%2529.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtFHBZwj9B7RvdS1HMd3I6b9IF1K2P3qc_fDCtaM81A7EjrnZJph-d1vRNfaVSHmLvhTINwAvP7JBjCSQKcCUbIx_m1YI2Xj9TluA8RstiRjgufdnklLgfhXGHhiqJe2BDqW-3E8MG9aE/s320/images+%25283%2529.jpeg" width="320" /></a>From learning to speak, to write, ride a bike, play the piano.... It takes practice to learn to be still and centered before God. And all the while I yearn to be like the great spiritual teachers.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i style="color: #bf9000; font-weight: bold;">Some days I coax hard. I am tired. I don't know if it's the way the oney light runs down the walls and sticks to all the dust lying still on every surface, or if a fog films over the eyes, or if I am plain deceived...I try taking up eucharisteo because I have known it before, that joy-miracle that might happen even now and here.</i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><i style="color: #bf9000; font-weight: bold;"> </i>(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 54)</span></blockquote>
Like Ann, I do feel happy when I pause to notice (I"m still not writing...pausing, but not writing.)<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>I do feel that. Happy when I name. But the porridge pot soaks in the sink and I don't know. How much is my tongue, tail of the heart, learning the real language of eucharisteo? I forget Eden and naming and nails, and it all seems just a bit...juvenile. </i></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Voskamp, p 55)</span></blockquote>
Oh, does this resonate with my heathen heart.<br />
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Honestly, I don't want to learn anything at the moment! I just want to "be"! I want to be like the saints I read and study! I want to be able to express their hard language of faith! I want to be able to fluently speak the language of thanksgiving!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQb9b_Fc7DcsFxJka-4z8yxTV_EpENJmCz6RO5Xy_clJOAERYPkBrIMYmXfUDU0QhQcK3v-GXGd71sTd2X0RLQIJNKTdOCJFZYNDzuvBtELrS9458E-ASEqSUWFQoTKmFf0HtxmO7CwHA/s1600/download.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQb9b_Fc7DcsFxJka-4z8yxTV_EpENJmCz6RO5Xy_clJOAERYPkBrIMYmXfUDU0QhQcK3v-GXGd71sTd2X0RLQIJNKTdOCJFZYNDzuvBtELrS9458E-ASEqSUWFQoTKmFf0HtxmO7CwHA/s320/download.jpeg" width="320" /></a>Like Ann writes, I want the very fullest life...and I want it now! <br />
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I want it without the work and practice.<br />
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As I began this post sharing: <i>It's so frustratingly common that it is almost offensive... </i><br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b>Driving nails into a life always is. </b></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Ibid)</span></blockquote>
Paul said it twice that even he had to learn. And like anything else, learning takes practice. C.S. Lewis wrote: <i>If you think of this world as a place intended simply for our happiness, you find it quite intolerable: think of it as a place of training and correction and it's not so bad.</i><br />
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What I appreciate so much about Ann is her honesty.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFR7V6GHgWBGjZSoE8uh0RqdUXvM7fX-3z7o4zacyANRAPfqwHE8lvE7N4DSeu8ZUOAK7pGG4Z-1TdDyZ592BaJ6AKdAnlBJDmlQv4E-Q8PknRC-63O6242tuzquEgknfO3SyQhBnblAQ/s1600/images+%25281%2529.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFR7V6GHgWBGjZSoE8uh0RqdUXvM7fX-3z7o4zacyANRAPfqwHE8lvE7N4DSeu8ZUOAK7pGG4Z-1TdDyZ592BaJ6AKdAnlBJDmlQv4E-Q8PknRC-63O6242tuzquEgknfO3SyQhBnblAQ/s320/images+%25281%2529.jpeg" width="320" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>This is why I had never really learned the language of "thanks in all things!" Though pastors preached it, I still came home and griped on. I had never PRACTICED. Practiced until it became the second nature, the first skin. </i></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Ibid)</span></blockquote>
This morning Sarah Young soothed my frazzled heart as I read her devotion in <i>Jesus Calling</i>:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2mw0sAjBdggzl0x88NDocphdc8OWwyX-L3WIjVXm7DnVO5_XCBH8xfG-KpPCxEg8jZpjBZkGuhMw4i9hPhSHpRlj0NgXUBFtACRdYGmvsUlu2icDDicre26gZsIoFjT4bPdWJ_UJs_W8/s1600/download.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2mw0sAjBdggzl0x88NDocphdc8OWwyX-L3WIjVXm7DnVO5_XCBH8xfG-KpPCxEg8jZpjBZkGuhMw4i9hPhSHpRlj0NgXUBFtACRdYGmvsUlu2icDDicre26gZsIoFjT4bPdWJ_UJs_W8/s1600/download.jpeg" /></a><i>Do not be discouraged by the difficulty of keeping your focus on Me. I know that your heart's desire is to be aware of My Presence continually. This is a lofty goal: you aim toward it but never fully achieve it in this life. Don't let feelings of failure weigh you down. Instead, try to see yourself as I see you. First of all, I am delighted by your deep desire to walk closely with Me through your life. I am pleased each time you initiate communication with Me. In addition, I notice the progress you have made since you first resolved to live in My Presence...Rejoice in these tiny triumphs, and they wil increasingly light up your days.</i></blockquote>
I needed this reassurance this morning. <br />
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I am tired. I have a full plate. And....I just do not want to pick up a pen and begin practicing!<br />
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Practice must be the most difficult thing when it comes to learning, yet I know (in my head) that this practice...this training is the very essence of transformation. Ann concludes this portion by writing:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>Practice, practice, practice. Hammer. Hammer. Hammer</i></b></span></blockquote>
<i>Lord, you know my heart. You know my fatigue. You know I am resisting having to PRACTICE!! Like a child, I do not want to commit to working on/practicing on that which can save my life.</i> <i>This fatigue is my Giant and through the story of David, I know you are here with me....in the midst... I am grateful to be reminded that you love me and that you celebrate that at least I yearn!! : ) Praise be to God!</i><br />
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Many Blessings ~ <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Sandi</i></span></div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-71701512891542259142011-10-31T08:23:00.001-04:002011-10-31T08:23:37.081-04:00Power of Naming<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>...in the Bible a name...reveals the very essence of a thing, or rather its essence as God's gift...To name a thing is to manifest the meaning and value God gave it, to know it as coming from God and to know its place and function within the cosmos created by God. To name a thing, in other words, is to bless God for it and in it. ~ </i><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Schmemann">Alexander Schmemann</a>, <i>For the Life of the World: Sacraments and Orthodoxy</i><br />
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A double blessing this morning. The reading of <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%208&version=NIV">Psalm 8</a> and<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Susan_Boyle"> Susan Boyle</a> singing<i>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_Great_Thou_Art_(hymn)">How Great Thou Art.</a></i><br />
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In my younger and stronger days (pre car accident) I managed our large hog operation. It was difficult, dirty, and tiring work and I loved it. I loved the sows (mama hogs) and I never tired of the miracle of birth. <br />
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Voskamps also raise hogs on their farm and on page 50 Ann begins to recount a time when the sows were aborting their litters early. The Farmer and the vet had tried everything to find the cause, but without success. Day after day the Farmer worked yet his stock remained ill.<br />
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One thing that struck this heathen (aka me) was what Ann described as also being a part of this daily ritual of tending...and dying.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtoZj725yRAMNJESu1_2EHGz1KH9l-UMwEZAcdBd1J0HnQIh2PMNF6pdu1gOUt6kRWcETTfez33OKGp9wIibVtMRG7hLtuihe47A120_E9Whu3Hu9UCW0SeJ9LNFra2eSFK4vYPQr2l4s/s1600/images+%25281%2529.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtoZj725yRAMNJESu1_2EHGz1KH9l-UMwEZAcdBd1J0HnQIh2PMNF6pdu1gOUt6kRWcETTfez33OKGp9wIibVtMRG7hLtuihe47A120_E9Whu3Hu9UCW0SeJ9LNFra2eSFK4vYPQr2l4s/s200/images+%25281%2529.jpeg" width="200" /></a><i style="color: #bf9000; font-weight: bold;">At the table...The Farmer sinks down into his chair at the end, lowers his head in <u>prayer.</u> <u>He thanks God</u> for the sustenance. I pray for some of that too.... I clear the table and <u>he reads Scripture</u>. We do this at the close of every meal..." </i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 51)</span></blockquote>
Discouraged, tired, concerned... The Farmer lowers his head in prayer...he thanks God....he reads Scripture.<br />
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I "know" the fatigue, the worry, the frustration of what the Farmer was experiencing with his livestock, and I know those same feelings of helplessness are experienced by many as they face their Giants on the battlefield of life. [I preached on David and Goliath yesterday ; ) ]<br />
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I know this fatigue, and I am sorry to admit that all to often, in the beginning of the battle, the Giant controls me, becomes my center, before I eventually fall to my knees. What I am reading is that the Farmer, regardless of his work load...sits down, prays, and read scripture...daily. It is part of who he is... As I preached a few weeks ago from Colossians 3...God is not a component of the Voskamp household, God is their life. And I do believe that when I get this truth....I will stay centered amidst the Giants.<br />
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But! Continuing with Ann....One evening the Farmer rushes in early, sits down at the computer...later Ann learns that he thinks he knows the disease/problem/Giant that is stealing life from his livestock.<br />
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<i style="color: #bf9000; font-weight: bold;">"'If that's'...I point to the screen, to that name too long to pronounce. 'If that's really whats going on out in the barn, are you OK?'" </i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Voskamp, p 52)</span></blockquote>
The Farmer replied:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2rw7cNpAVeztS6qmg1AQKqmp32zqlmBl9o8_6KadWfFHSWVtef8sX3DCDRgP_3kMHWVRe-3WAL8Xrh-Yc80N8owP0_3So1LWljfsdK08NZWM6XAkyT8r6y4gLctCwZVVq1Zyp4QfVWLg/s1600/images+%25281%2529.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2rw7cNpAVeztS6qmg1AQKqmp32zqlmBl9o8_6KadWfFHSWVtef8sX3DCDRgP_3kMHWVRe-3WAL8Xrh-Yc80N8owP0_3So1LWljfsdK08NZWM6XAkyT8r6y4gLctCwZVVq1Zyp4QfVWLg/s320/images+%25281%2529.jpeg" width="320" /></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>"'Yes...and no. I don't like what it is, or that it looks like it's nearly impossible to eradicate, but you know what?...I'm strangely happy...God's good. Just naming it..When you don't have the name for something, you're haunted by shadows. It ages you.'"</i></b></span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">Ibid</span></blockquote>
Not long ago I shared with my mom how being able to "name" something gives one power. It doesn't change the circumstances, but now you have a name for that Giant.<br />
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I had to read Ann's sentence a few times before her insight began to sink in:<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>"Naming is Edenic...The first man's task is to name...When I name moments - string out laundry and name-pray, 'than You, Lord, for bedsheets in billowing winds, for fluff of a sparrow landing on line, sun winter warm, and one last leaf still hanging in the orchard - I am Adam and I discover my meaning and God's and to name is to learn the language of Paradise...Naming to find an identity, our identity, God's. </i></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(Voskamp, p 53)</span></blockquote>
Again, from Alexander Schmemann:<br />
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<i>Now, in the Bible a name...reveals the very essence of a thing, or rather its essence as God's gift...To name a thing is to manifest the meaning and value God gave it, to know it is coming from God and to know its place and function within the cosmos created by God. To name a thing, in other word, is to bless God for it and in it.</i></blockquote>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1IBroT4uPaClmhiuckHiknK1Wd5ecPBsRsJ-Mtm1eccLPKkuQRitq7WxoSGCbX2Z_xTNfyxXwIDYe9fnGLDgX63j1DJU1h3j2gMkx9D-6qAwagXcEJUhamS668nEaGqnOnXcQ5N97MPo/s1600/images+%25281%2529.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1IBroT4uPaClmhiuckHiknK1Wd5ecPBsRsJ-Mtm1eccLPKkuQRitq7WxoSGCbX2Z_xTNfyxXwIDYe9fnGLDgX63j1DJU1h3j2gMkx9D-6qAwagXcEJUhamS668nEaGqnOnXcQ5N97MPo/s320/images+%25281%2529.jpeg" width="209" /></a>Ummm, yesterday I reminded the congregation that when David ran up to Goliath, God was there...in the midst. <br />
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God is here...in the midst...God is....<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>This naming really does call now a gift, a gift of God...I look at a day, a thing, an event in front of me, and it may look manna-strange: 'What is it?' But when I name it, the naming of it manifest its meaning: to know it comes from God. This is gift! Naming is to know a things function in the cosmos - to name is to solve mystery.</i></b></span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> Ibid</span></blockquote>
I wonder where Ann will go with this insight within dark Gratitude...hard Eucharisteo?<br />
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Honestly, I do not want to think about a "dark thing" coming from God....having a place and function in the cosmos created by God.<br />
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Ann finishes this section writing:<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>In naming that which is right before me, that which I'd otherwise miss, the invisible becomes visible. The space that spans my inner emptiness fills in the naming. I name. and I know the face I face. </i></b></span></blockquote>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #bf9000;"><b><i>God's! God is in the details; God is in the moment. God is in all that blurs by in a life - even hurts in a life.</i></b></span></blockquote>
God!<br />
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My beginning efforts of naming moments, even though they seem trivial and small may change the ugly names I mindlessly attach to what I see.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhakwbrXr57Tj5xhGnd7UHMsvMYthlIVyRqIgdY7hHJcfdkNv6al0_MEMtRGtF_QBDNAQy0DcLpdQIUAaCaF6n7Q6q5wgt92VrxyNxS0mW5AfPmyPkwvq0Dkm6LLAFGXqQFM0FO5r7B68c/s1600/images+%25281%2529.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhakwbrXr57Tj5xhGnd7UHMsvMYthlIVyRqIgdY7hHJcfdkNv6al0_MEMtRGtF_QBDNAQy0DcLpdQIUAaCaF6n7Q6q5wgt92VrxyNxS0mW5AfPmyPkwvq0Dkm6LLAFGXqQFM0FO5r7B68c/s1600/images+%25281%2529.jpeg" /></a>Paul in <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Colossians%203&version=NIV">Colossians 3:2</a>, not denying my reality, reminds me to look up to a greater reality! <br />
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And when I look up, the Giant does not disappear, but through the Holy Spirit, I may be able to see God within the space of the Giant...and I may be able to name it differently. I may be able to name from a place of wholeness rather than fear of the unknown.<br />
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Just as there is power in naming a dark mystery, there is power in being present to the mystery that surrounds me in ordinary moments. There is power in naming that which is around me...because when I do this....I encounter God!<br />
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I encounter God when I name the gifts within my ordinary moments.<br />
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Being faithful to this discipline of naming...strengthens my heart, giving me courage, allowing me to live within a place of trust....<br />
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But......<br />
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If I write this as being true, then why am I not cracking open my book to begin?<br />
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Come on San..."practice what you preach!" "Walk the talk"....all those cliches have meaning in their truth...."become the sermon"... <i>God, send your Spirit down upon me, helping me to begin this journey in earnest...not just reading and journalling "about" this naming of gifts....help me to identify what keeps me from taking my first step...to name what keeps me from picking up my journal...and to then run toward it with courage and trust in you...</i><br />
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Many Blessings <i>~ <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Sandi</span></i></div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8866251333575873059.post-20946912869908965512011-10-29T07:15:00.000-04:002011-10-29T07:15:40.980-04:00Gratitude Doesn't Mean I Understand<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<i>Then Job broke the silence. He spoke up and cursed his fate: Obliterate the day I was born. Blank out the night I was conceived! Let it be a black hole in space. May God above forget it ever happened. May God above forget it ever happened. Erase it from the books! May the day of my birth be buried in deep darkness, shrouded by the fog, swallowed by the night...released me...into a life with so much trouble. </i>~ Job 3:1-10<br />
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<i>Hello Lord, I got your number now</i></div>
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<i>It took me a while but I figured you out</i></div>
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<i>And now</i></div>
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<i>I know more, know more than you</i></div>
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<i>Now I know more,</i></div>
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<i>I know more than any god in the hell or heavens knows</i></div>
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<i>I know more than anybody could ever know</i></div>
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<i>I know more, more is the science of this world</i></div>
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<i>I finally understand, it cant be understood</i></div>
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<i>I finally understand the good Lord can’t be understood </i>~<a href="http://www.jjgrey.com/"> JJ Grey</a></div>
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This morning, I have been thinking about gratitude, hard gratitude. Gratitude in the midst of pain, helplessness, discouragement, fear... </div>
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I have been thinking.... and I believe when I can find gratitude in these places, I will know fullness of life. At the same time, Scripture is FULL of laments. </div>
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My Job study for tomorrow reminds me that the authors of Matthew and Mark ( <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%2027:46&version=NIV">Matthew 27:46</a> and <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark%2015:34&version=NIV">Mark 15:34</a>) both used the deep and anguished lament of <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2022&version=NIV">Psalm 22</a>: <i>"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" </i>as they wrote of Jesus' crucifixion. </div>
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I am not reading Ann's book this morning. At some point, she may address my thoughts: Is part of being able to live through an attitude of gratitude being unafraid to "approach the throne of grace with boldness" (<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hebrews%204&version=NIV">Hebrews 4:16</a>) Is part of this gratitude thing being unafraid to express...to cry out in lament?</div>
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JJ Grey has spoken about lament. For him, he believes lament is therapeutic. "<i>When I hear someone else sing of lament, it is sad yet it feels good. When I sing of lament in the end I feel like I haven't lost anything by feeling it."</i></div>
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"I haven't lost anything <u>by feeling it</u>."</div>
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I'm using the <a href="http://www.kerygma.com/">Kerygma</a> study of Job. <a href="http://www.kerygma.com/authors/carolbechtel.html">Carol Bechtel</a> is the author...I appreciate her insights and her questions. She wonders: <i>"Perhaps we have been too timid in the past...our '<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18MEV0fT1gI">sweet hour of prayer</a>' too sweet."</i></div>
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Like I have just written, Ann may address my thoughts of this new day...these questions of lament and is lament a part of living a full life of gratitude?</div>
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Just wondering......</div>
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But now...a smile as I consider "lament." </div>
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Blessings for a weekend of wonder. : )</div>
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Many Blessings ~ <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Sandi</i></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>Sandihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03185618671629086331noreply@blogger.com3