Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transparent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world. ~ Sara Ban Breathnach

Friday, May 13, 2011

Frail and Glorious - I

What a few days this has been! "Blogger" went down for 1-2 days, making it impossible for me to even begin a journal entry.  I began to feel anxious, because I was "supposed" to journal each day.  But, when I decided Blogger was not going to get fixed last evening, I took a deep breath and thought, "You know, there isn't anyone holding a gun to your head.  Who told declared you had to post everyday?"

I thought for a moment and admitted it was "me."

"Who is fueling this crazy anxiety about something that you cannot control?"

Smiling, I again admitted, "Macrina would say the evil step-parent, I will say its that demon of mine." And I went to bed.

This morning, coming down the stairs I immediately knew something was very wrong by the smell that hit my nostrils.  Sophie, my little rescue dog, had become sick during the night and had even managed to get out of her crate and spread it through the dining room, the kitchen, and into the family room!

I don't have the strongest stomach so it took a lot of heaving and gagging to clean up the mess.  Fixing a cup of coffee I sat down to journal...and Blogger was still down! I decided to take Sophie outside, only to find more piles of yuk by the back door!

You want me to what!?!?
After the second round of cleaning I fixed a fresh cup of coffee and decided to sit down with my morning devotional book, Jesus Calling, take a few deep breaths and begin my morning again. I asked God to help me calm my mind and my heart and to hear his word within the devotion. I opened the book...and could not believe what I read for today:
"Thank Me in the midst of the crucible. When things seem all wrong, look for growth opportunities. Especially, look for areas where you need to let go, leaving your cares in My able hands..."
I can only say that all my journaling, reading, praying.... It must be helping because I laughed!  I called a couple of friends to share the whole morning.  One friend told me, "When you actually say, 'thank you' call me back."

I'm not there yet. : )  But, I can laugh about it!
George Younce 1930 - 2005

Were you ever lucky enough to meet George Younce of The Cathedrals?  Yet one more example of my crazy tastes in music.  I think George must have been one of the best basses there ever was.  I loved watching this man sing.  As I have thought about my morning, I remember George's Laughing Song.....

The last part of today's devotional read: "Be on the lookout for what I am doing in your life. Worship Me by living close to Me, thanking Me in all circumstances."

"San", say "Thank you."
Go figure.

The second chapter of Macrina's book begins with a poem. I debated on what to do, and decided to post the poem this evening.  Remember, the title for this chapter is "Frail and Glorious." No matter how I try, once I type this...the "system" makes the lines into "sentences".  I put a / after each line so you can see where the breaks are to be.
"The waters of baptism flowed over me / and no original sin was seen. /Rather, the Eye of God beheld /a tiny mass of bones and flesh /soul and spirit /infinite possibility /pure process /new, empty, and free, /free to choose /   good or evil /   light or darkness /   life or death /   grace or sin. /
It was my original union /I was passing through the baptismal waters /being filled with power like unto God's / and God wept /at the possibility of me. /
Then somewhere in between my baptism /   and my daily life /My power like unto God's became scattered /I forgot my original union with God. /And I grew /I chose /   good and evil /   light and darkness /   life and death /   grace and sin. /
With my baptism lost /I began to live my life fragmented, /standing on the edge of my baptismal powers /blind to their presence in the depths of my soul. /
Yet all fragments are finally gathered up /and God does in us wonders /that others are not able to do. /
So, on a day that felt like baptism /God gave me a glimpse of my hidden splendor, /made me aware of that original union /and my powers that had become scattered. /Now my life is ever spent /in calling home my scattered powers. /
Macrina writes that this poem was born out of a moment of anger, and she explains.... but, that will be for another day.

Tomorrow, I will be driving to Illinois to pick up parts of our corn planter; thus, I may or may not be able to journal tomorrow.  But, that is okay, because I think I want to sit with this poem for awhile.

So, you don't think The Cathedrals just sang silly songs.... The videos aren't great quality, but you can get the idea. Glenn Payne and George Younce...what a pair!  Sinner Saved by Grace.  How perfect as I consider this poem of Macrina's.

Many Blessings ~ Sandi

1 comment:

  1. May you find a new found joy to be relieved from the self-imposed pressure of posting so regularly - funny how God works. Enjoy "being present".