Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transparent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world. ~ Sara Ban Breathnach

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

It Takes Practice

It's hard to think that the insulting ordinariness of this truly teaches the full mystery of the all most important, eucharisteo. It's so frustratingly common - it's offensive. ~ AnnVoskamp

Drew's family is proud of his accomplishments of learning to play the piano.  I remember painstakingly playing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.  All the while yearning to play a much more complicated concerto!

It takes practice to learn anything!

From learning to speak, to write, ride a bike, play the piano.... It takes practice to learn to be still and centered before God.  And all the while I yearn to be like the great spiritual teachers.
Some days I coax hard. I am tired. I don't know if it's the way the oney light runs down the walls and sticks to all the dust lying still on every surface, or if a fog films over the eyes, or if I am plain deceived...I try taking up eucharisteo because I have known it before, that joy-miracle that might happen even now and here.  (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 54)
Like Ann, I do feel happy when I pause to notice (I"m still not writing...pausing, but not writing.)
I do feel that. Happy when I name. But the porridge pot soaks in the sink and I don't know. How much is my tongue, tail of the heart, learning the real language of eucharisteo? I forget Eden and naming and nails, and it all seems just a bit...juvenile. (Voskamp, p 55)
Oh, does this resonate with my heathen heart.

Honestly, I don't want to learn anything at the moment! I just want to "be"! I want to be like the saints I read and study! I want to be able to express their hard language of faith! I want to be able to fluently speak the language of thanksgiving!

Like Ann writes, I want the very fullest life...and I want it now!

I want it without the work and practice.

As I began this post sharing:  It's so frustratingly common that it is almost offensive... 

Driving nails into a life always is. (Ibid)
Paul said it twice that even he had to learn.  And like anything else, learning takes practice.  C.S. Lewis wrote: If you think of this world as a place intended simply for our happiness, you find it quite intolerable: think of it as a place of training and correction and it's not so bad.

What I appreciate so much about Ann is her honesty.
This is why I had never really learned the language of "thanks in all things!" Though pastors preached it, I still came home and griped on. I had never PRACTICED. Practiced until it became the second nature, the first skin. (Ibid)
This morning Sarah Young soothed my frazzled heart as I read her devotion in Jesus Calling:
Do not be discouraged by the difficulty of keeping your focus on Me. I know that your heart's desire is to be aware of My Presence continually. This is a lofty goal: you aim toward it but never fully achieve it in this life. Don't let feelings of failure weigh you down. Instead, try to see yourself as I see you. First of all, I am delighted by your deep desire to walk closely with Me through your life. I am pleased each time you initiate communication with Me. In addition, I notice the progress you have made since you first resolved to live in My Presence...Rejoice in these tiny triumphs, and they wil increasingly light up your days.
I needed this reassurance this morning.

I am tired.  I have a full plate.  And....I just do not want to pick up a pen and begin practicing!

Practice must be the most difficult thing when it comes to learning, yet I know (in my head) that this practice...this training is the very essence of transformation.  Ann concludes this portion by writing:
Practice, practice, practice. Hammer. Hammer. Hammer
Lord, you know my heart.  You know my fatigue.  You know I am resisting having to PRACTICE!!  Like a child, I do not want to commit to working on/practicing on that which can save my life. This fatigue is my Giant and through the story of David, I know you are here with the midst... I am grateful to be reminded that you love me and that you celebrate that at least I yearn!! : ) Praise be to God!

Many Blessings ~ Sandi

1 comment:

  1. Hi Sweet lady!

    So glad to be back here and read your inspiring blog posts!

    Big hugs