To learn...

I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. ~ Philippians 4:11-12

A nice reminder of simple gifts from an old and missed voice...

As I read Ann's words yesterday, I thought, "She's becoming 'hooked' on the adrenaline rush of the happiness."

Ummmm.  Today as I continued reading, Ann wrote:

At first, it's the dare that keeps me going. That and how happy it makes me - giddy - this list writing of all that is good and pure and lovely and beautiful. But what keeps me going is what I read in that Bible lying open on my prayer bench looking out the window to the snow fort. The fot with a door in the wall. It's Paul writing the letter to the Philippians. I read the fourth chapter. I almost don't see it, but Paul repats it twice in only two sentences, so I don't miss it. (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 47)

I read that passage which I began this post several times...looking....then I to noticed what Paul was saying to me.


Two times he says it: "I have LEARNED..."

Learned.

If I want to live a life that is full.

If I want to live a life from a place of inner peace and joy, then I to must learn.  I to must learn eucharisteo.

Learn it like I know my skin, my face, the words on the end of my tongue. Like I know my own name. Learn how to be thankful - whether empty or full. Could the list teach me even that hard language? Over time? Gratitude in the midst of death and divorce and debt - that's the language I've got to learn to speak - because that's the kind of life I'm living, the kind I have to solve.

I to live a life full of uncertainties, cancer, financial concerns, death, uncertainties and fears regarding health....  This morning my cousin will be undergoing open heart surgery, my newest Grand continues to cry, I've three counseling sessions before the team/elder meetings tonight...

This morning my cousin texted saying, "I wish there were easy fixes to broken bodies..."

I replied I do my best to watch my feelings and then to check the thoughts behind those feelings. Last evening I had a melt down.  I was tired physically, emotionally, and mentally.  I received an update on my precious Grand...and finally after so many days, while talking to a good friend...the tears, the anger, the frustration...the fears surfaced.

BUT! Once all that stuff was released, I was able to take deep breaths and to begin resting in trust....  I'm working on the gratitude of within some of the things of my life.

Like Ann says...Gratitude in the midst of...  in the midst of "life."

Paul wrote: I have learned how to be content with whatever I have...


This morning, I crack open my book and begin writing.  I begin writing even though the things I list seem trivial.  And....as I write...I do sense an emptying and a filling....I do sense a spark of inner peace as I begin this day.

John 15:4-7 - Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you...I am the Vine, you are the branches... Separated, you can't produce a thing...But, if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon.."


I cannot do this learning, this transformation on my own.  Yet, Scripture reminds me I do not have to do this on my own! I have the Holy Spirit of the Living God, living within me to help me, to guide me....to comfort me when I fail.

James 1:4 - So don't try to get out of anything prematurely.  Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.


Writing down my beginning sounds of gratitude...It is a beginning.

Ann writes: I wake the next morning and I grip my pen, ink to crake the code.


: ) "Crack the code."

Interesting choice of words for me to consider as I leave my home and travel south.  As I leave the quiet of my space and step into "life."

Lord, I know I cannot do anything without you. I cannot let go of my concern for Baby Grand or my Cousin.  I cannot fix the fears of those I will be meeting with today.
Help me to learn to be content within the stuff that is life, help me to lean into you in trust so that I might know inner joy and peace.  


Rain - Anne Murray


With every drop of rain....I hear you call...I can hear above the clouds.... Praise God!!

Many Blessings ~ Sandi