ONE THOUSAND GIFTS

Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transparent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world. ~ Sara Ban Breathnach

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Gratitude Doesn't Mean I Understand

Then Job broke the silence. He spoke up and cursed his fate: Obliterate the day I was born. Blank out the night I was conceived! Let it be a black hole in space. May God above forget it ever happened. May God above forget it ever happened. Erase it from the books! May the day of my birth be buried in deep darkness, shrouded by the fog, swallowed by the night...released me...into a life with so much trouble. ~ Job 3:1-10



Hello Lord, I got your number now
It took me a while but I figured you out
And now
I know more, know more than you
Now I know more,
I know more than any god in the hell or heavens knows
I know more than anybody could ever know
I know more, more is the science of this world
I finally understand, it cant be understood
I finally understand the good Lord can’t be understood ~ JJ Grey

This morning, I have been thinking about gratitude, hard gratitude.  Gratitude in the midst of pain, helplessness, discouragement, fear...  

I have been thinking.... and I believe when I can find gratitude in these places, I will know fullness of life.  At the same time, Scripture is FULL of laments.  

My Job study for tomorrow reminds me that the authors of Matthew and Mark ( Matthew 27:46 and Mark 15:34) both used the deep and anguished lament of Psalm 22: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" as they wrote of Jesus' crucifixion. 

I am not reading Ann's book this morning.  At some point, she may address my thoughts: Is part of being able to live through an attitude of gratitude being unafraid to "approach the throne of grace with boldness" (Hebrews 4:16) Is part of this gratitude thing being unafraid to express...to cry out in lament?

JJ Grey has spoken about lament.  For him, he believes lament is therapeutic.  "When I hear someone else sing of lament, it is sad yet it feels good.  When I sing of lament in the end I feel like I haven't lost anything by feeling it."

"I haven't lost anything by feeling it."

I'm using the Kerygma study of Job.  Carol Bechtel is the author...I appreciate her insights and her questions.  She wonders: "Perhaps we have been too timid in the past...our 'sweet hour of prayer' too sweet."

Like I have just written, Ann may address my thoughts of this new day...these questions of lament and is lament a part of living a full life of gratitude?

Just wondering......

But now...a smile as I consider "lament."  

Blessings for a weekend of wonder. : )

Many Blessings ~ Sandi

3 comments:

  1. I think we have to experience---really experience the lament to understand gratitude...nice reflections today.

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  2. I find lamenting, complaining, whining, whatever you choose to call it -- does little good for me. Describing past or current sorrows solves nothing.

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  3. Here is what I have learned....I have had some significant seasons of sorrow, angst, grief, loss...Jobian times for sure. And I mean that in all seriousness...I have wailed and mourned...and, I think God is ok with that. God can take it. But the amazing thing is, after awhile I tired of feeling that way. My life circumstances did not change. It was still awful. But my inner sense of self did, in large part because I continued to pray, to converse with God, to trudge through the muck. The way I knew God's presence, despite the circumstances not changing, was the peace that filled my heart and spirit. Was able to live through that time without bitterness, able to have compassion.

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