Living Year Moments

The hurry makes us hurt. And maybe it is the hurt that drives us on? For all our frenzied running, seemingly toward something, could it be that we are in fact fleeing - desperate to escape pain that pursues? ~ Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p 67

"In the Living Years...."

"The hurry makes us hurt..."

Whatever the pace, time will keep it and there's no outrunning it, only speeding it up and pounding the feet harder; the minutes pound faster too. Race for more and you'll snag on time and leak empty. The longer I keep running, the longer the gash, and I drain, bleed away.

Hurry always empties a soul. 

"Say it clear..."

Wow, if I need a reminder this morning as I hold all that is on my plate, Ann's thoughts and Mike's words nudge and prod me to simply pause.

I'm hosting a "party" at the church this coming Sunday for 20 (+) women.  I'm preparing a Maple Glazed Roasted Turkey and some side dishes along with Candy Cane Punch.  The rest of the meal will be brought in by the participants.  I'm calling it a "Family Favorite Pitch-In".

The three ring notebooks are focused on and the tables will be set in the theme for the afternoon, "Untangling Christmas."  Yesterday I was delighted to discover this little guy at Barnes and Noble for 75% off.  Is he not a great example of how so many of us, well at least "me", feel either during or after the holidays?

"Hurry always empties a soul."

I've been surprised and a bit saddened by the email responses of some of the women who are attending the Untangling Christmas event.  "Sandi, I actually dread this time of year. It drives me crazy to hear 'the reason of the season'! I'm doing my best to just hang on, I can't handle being reminded over and over again I have lost the 'reason of the season.'"

I love my family so very much, yet I can relate to some of the emails I have received.  Like I said, this little guy from Barnes and Noble is a pretty good image for how I feel on Christmas night....if not before.

I hear people wishing for more time, yet it isn't "more" time that I need; I just want "enough" time.

I want time enough to take deep breathes and to really see.

I want time enough to laugh and to play with the Grands...and even my grown kids.

I want time enough to truly give of myself rather than to go through the motions.

I want time enough now...while I'm in the "living years."

One of my favorite gentlemen at BPC, he's a retired school administrator, but he's really a wise and thoughtful storyteller....anyhow, this past Sunday he looked at me and said something like, "Happiness comes from being grateful."

I haven't journaled that I have actually begun recording "Gifts"!  I was thinking last night that it is in these "gifts" I discover God.

36. The yearly call from my mom to say she's found a 20+ pound turkey.  

37. My daughter calling to share a smile received at Starbucks. 

38. The feel of a soft stuffed dog I will share with Grand # 3 this afternoon.

No, I don't need "more" time, I just want time to do these moments; these moments during these "living years"; I just want time to do these moments well.

Some have told me "it's just the way it is" this craziness during these months of October through January.

"It's just the way it is."

No!

There is more to life than this craziness of hurting as I hurry through life!

I want to embrace the challenge by Gandhi, "Be the change you want to see."

39. The branches of the evergreen moving 'with' the wind. 

40. The sunlight filtering through that evergreen and through my blinds to reflect images on my wall.

I don't understand, maybe I don't need to understand, but the simple act of writing and naming these ordinary gifts help me to regain a vision of my center.

It helps me to laugh at this funny little Zombie Buddy as I sit with all that is on my plate.

I think I will keep him on my desk as a constant reminder to be present during these "living year" moments in the days and weeks to come.

Many Blessings ~ Sandi